Alter Egos

Blackest Day

Song: The Blackest Day, by Lana Del Rey.

Description: Three times Killer Frost dealt with grief.

Hi all! So I've had an idea for a while but never really did anything with it. But I suddenly got inspiration when I heard this song.
Hints of Flashfrost, but it's mostly implied Savifrost.

TRIGGER WARNING: Brief suicidal themes but nothing too graphic.

...

Killer Frost exhaled slowly, her breath a cold mist. Her feet dangled idly over the building's edge, regardless of the drop below. She stared out at the city lights that painted the black canvas of night. She watched as the cars raced along the roads and the people crossed the streets. The city moved and flowed with the same pace it always had. The people lived on, unaware that it had almost ended. Unaware of what had transpired just nights before.

Those that did know...didn't care. Those that knew were celebrating, breathing a sigh of relief. Because nobody cared that a broken and lost time-remnant was dead. Nobody cared that they had killed a Barry Allen that was just as real as the original. Nobody except her.

And in the end nobody cared that she cared, it didn't matter that his death had caused her pain. Not to them anyway. No one has sympathy for the bad guys. All they cared about was the fact that they won, they got to keep their future. Everyone else be damned.

Killer Frost took another swig of her drink, draining the liquid from the bottle. Truthfully, she wasn't even sure how well the stuff worked on her, but at this point, she was willing to try anything to numb her mind. To numb the pain. Frost leaned forward a bit, letting the neck of the bottle hang loosely between her fingers. She swung it back and forth for several moments, before finally letting it go. The smooth glass slipped through her fingers, shattering on the pavement below.

It then occurred to her, that she had never quite felt so alone. She had no family that wanted her, no friends that would except or forgive her. The only person that had ever understood her, or her pain, was gone. Murdered by the very person he had sought to kill. Now it was just her, left to deal with it alone.

She spared a glance at the shattered bottle on the street, gauging the distance. Then she stood, balancing on the thin concrete ledge that separated her from the drop below. Frost began to walk along it, not caring when her balance faltered. She had been hoping she was buzzed enough to slip, but she was even denied that.

The truth was, she wanted it. She wanted to fall, to just end it. And she knew Caitlin wanted it too. They had both lost everything, lost everyone she ever loved. She had even lost Barry to the Speed Force. Now it was just her.

So she walked along the edge a little more, slowly putting her heel in front of her toe with every step. Then abruptly, she spun on her foot and turned her back to the edge. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting her weight tip backward. The initial feeling of falling sent a wave of adrenaline through her, but it quickly faded. The air softly rushed past her ears as she fell.

She opened her eyes, vision partially obscured by her windblown hair. She watched as the sky got more distant and stories flew past, all the while her body remained relaxed. She breathed out a slow breath, wondering everything all at once. Wondering if it would hurt, wondering if she'd ever see him again. Wondering if the ache in her chest would ever cease. She was getting close now, closer to the bottom...closer to oblivion.

Then at the very last moment, Killer Frost twisted herself and positioned her hands. She shot out two powerful blasts of ice, one to create her path and one to drive herself forward. She put more and more distance between herself and the ground, not really caring what direction she was going or how high she went.