Star Wars: Daughter of the Dark Force

Chapter 11: Venture into the Past

Instead of setting a course off the planet, I steered in the general direction of the Imperial Senatorial Rotunda. It wasn't far.

"If you permit my asking, Kimberlee," Caryoliss ventured tentatively, "where are we headed?"

I didn't take my eyes off the traffic.

"You'll see soon enough, Peter," I replied. "This is... a personal mission."

"Oh."

Over the pointed, utilitarian outline of the horizon appeared the dome of the Rotunda. Despite my outward calm, my heart began to beat a bit faster with excitement. Near this colossal building was the old Jedi temple. I looked forward to seeing the scene of the last battle between the Sith and the Jedi, which, of course, was won by the Sith. I revved the Princess's engines and sped, unseen, nearer to the Rotunda. Finally I could see the angled spires of the Jedi temple. Even in its neglected ruin, it was a majestic structure. I brought the Princess to a stop over an ancient landing platform at the entrance to the temple.

"Wait here for me," I instructed Caryoliss. I left behind all my weapons but my precious blades.

Taking deliberate, precise steps, I walked carefully to the foot of the stairs. There I stopped, and I tilted my head backwards to gaze at the bulk of the temple towering over me. Its sheer size took my breath away. A deep, buried part of me thrilled, in a sad, bittersweet manner, to be standing before the heart of the extinct Jedi Order. Unconsciously I found myself longing wistfully to be standing here with Master Batado. With a snarl, I threw the useless thoughts away. I was no longer a Jedi! I was something far more powerful! All Yurlon had done was hold me back from my true destiny. No, rather than wish for him to stand beside me, I wished to be standing beside Lord Vader and contemplating with him the demise of the Jedi. Indeed, I wished with all my heart that I had been the one to kill him. Such an act would have given me far more power in the dark side than I already had!

My heart twisted when I realized what I was thinking. No, I could have never harmed my former Master... I reprimanded myself with a snarl. Clearly I was not yet strong enough to be worthy of Vader's teachings, if the sight of the temple that harboured my sworn enemies revived my memories and my attachment to a foul Jedi knight! I hadn't done a good enough job of ridding myself of my memories... How disappointed Vader would be in me! Now I looked at the temple with something not unlike dread. Could I really do this? Could I really enter the temple and hold true to my new persona with the ancient Jedi Force energies swirling around me? I wasn't strong enough...

"No!" I said aloud. No, I had to enter. If I wasn't strong enough to endure this, then I wasn't strong enough for Vader, and I may as well not return to him. If coming here would revive my memories of Yurlon, I would have to go through the temple and cast away whatever memories I had. Only when I purged my soul of those unclean memories, and only when, would I truly be pure enough in the dark side to be called a true Sith.

I have to do this, I said to myself. I must do this. And so, I steeled myself and ascended the stone stairs into the temple. I passed between the enormous sculptures that adorned the entrance. Ahead, dark in the dying light, lay my path into the temple. Silence hung around me like a curtain as I advanced cautiously, my footsteps echoing out into the empty expanses around me. Fifteen-year-old evidence of a struggle between Jedi and clone trooper was visible everywhere. Burns from blaster bolts were etched into the columns and walls. Statues and benches and curtains were overturned and misplaced. Everything was in disarray, left as a testament to the succumb of the Jedi to the raw, limitless power of the Sith.

All this I saw with my eyes, but my mind focused on the eddying energies that emanated from the shadows. They fed my mind with images of the Jedi that had fought and died here. I saw Jedi fighting back to back, desperately trying to hold off blaster fire. I saw them finally fall, overwhelmed by number. Each death I saw clearly, and felt clearly, and while I relished in the sensation of a Jedi's death, I nonetheless felt a stinging pain accompanied by regret. Rather than fight this regret, I let it flow over me, and then I cast it away forever. I accepted my past, then reconciled myself with my present and my future. No longer was I a Jedi, and no longer would I feel anything other than hatred of the Jedi. Those memories belonged to Kemberli Wan-Oba, and she was no more. She would be no more, for Darth Kemberli would conquer her.