Poker Face

Chapter 61 - Away From You

They'd only known each other for a month and their relationship had progressed quickly because everything was moving faster in the new world. Death could be imminent for anyone on any given day; there wasn't time to take it slow. Negan must have narrowly escaped death hundreds of times before he even met her and she knew he couldn't keep pulling it off forever. Before him, she had no one, by choice. By falling for him and making the decision to stay, she set herself up to only care about one thing and now he felt like her only root in any sort of happiness. She essentially shot herself in the foot but had no intention of removing the bullet and tending to the wound.

She went back and forth between logic and desire. Every bit of her intuition was telling her to stay but she scolded herself for letting her emotions get to her so strongly. Ultimately she made her decision and knew she had to leave until the Sanctuary was safe. But if she was going, she was going on her own terms, not because Negan willed it to be so. There was still an argument to be had and he wasn't going to win it.

She needed something to eat and finally, after half an hour, stood back up and made her way inside, rubbing her cold hands together for warmth. She proceeded down a few sets of stairs and across an empty floor to another set of stairs, when she started to hear what sounded like shouting coming up through the Sanctuary. As she made her way further downstairs, she could hear it was Negan's booming voice calling her name, apparently unable to find her. He's about to overreact, she thought to herself, rolling her eyes and hastening her walk but being extra careful on the stairs through her light-headedness. When he sounded close enough, she called back to him.

"Chill out, I'm coming down!" she shouted. She hurried down three more flights of narrow metal stairs and found him in an empty corridor.

"Doll, what the fuck happened?" he asked, out of breath when they finally met in the middle the hallway.

"What do you mean?" she replied. "Sorry I didn't tell you but I needed to get some air-"

"You were outside?" His eyes practically popped out of his head and she didn't understand the anger in his voice.

"On the roof. It's fine." She began walking down the hall, motioning with her head for him to follow, but he pulled her back to stand in place, gripping her shoulders firmly.

"What the fuck were you doing on the fucking roof?!"

"Getting some air!" She was growing agitated with him. She couldn't even do such a simple gesture as stepping outside in an empty area without him worrying and treating her like a child.

"I said I didn't want you out of my fucking sight!" His domineering tone hadn't changed.

"That was before you fucking tried to use your wives as a reason I owe you."

"I didn't mean that," he muttered, his tension softening slightly.

"Didn't think you did. Still mad about it." Of course he'd hoped the argument would work but the moment it left his mouth he realized she was too stubborn, rightfully so, to respond to such obvious bullshitting. And as he suspected, she saw right through his words to their point, which was that he was trying anything he could think of to force her without force. It was almost intimidation and she'd never responded favorably to intimidation.

"Don't change the fucking subject," he sighed, having meant for this to be a conversation about her actions.

"What is the fucking subject?!" she asked, exasperated, her headache rising in her temple again. She pulled away from his grasp and stepped back to glare up at him.

"Why didn't you tell me where you were going and why were you on the fucking roof?"

"Because I'm mad at you and because," she took a dramatic breath and spoke slowly and loudly, "I needed to get some air," she said for the third time.