Behind The Desk

save me

                Sahara 👑
Last night wasn't even on my mind anymore shit I was already late for school this morning and I didn't even get any homework.
"Miss Sahara Jackson ?"
Snapping me out of my sleep Mr. Vinson slammed a book down on my desk.
Everyone laughed but I didnt think it was funny at all shit I didn't want to be no class clown I was a straight A student with perfect attendance and it was getting close to graduation  I didn't have to be the star of the damn show.
"I'm sorry " I said wiping the slob off my face.
"This is not your bedroom, but the front office needs to see you."
I nodded my head and grabbed my things heading out.
I wasn't a trouble maker so what could possibly be the  fucking problem. I had enough shit going on.
Walking in the principal office there was were four officers standing there.
"What's this-"
"Your not an any trouble Sahara." Mr. Davidson stated before pulling out a chair.
I sat down and watched them conversate then they looked back at me.
" Sahara your grandmother is in the hospital"
"For what " I asked violently standing up throwing down my backpack down.
"Mrs Jackson please sit."
I complied and sat back down biting my nails and shaking my leg.
"She suffered from a heart attack early this morning."
My heart dropped so fast j felt like I had to shit.
"She's stable right now we just wanted to confirm you-"
I rushed out of the office and started running down the Hall's faster then the wind could take me this couldn't be happening she was just fine I just saw her last night she was fine.
I ran all the way home and bursted through the front door.
My mother stood up and started at me as if I was a crazy person.
"Sahara you lost your mind and why aren't you at school "
"Grandma in the hospital "
She rolled her eyes and I noticed a fifty dollar bill sitting on the table.
She grabbed it showed it to me dangling in front of me.
"Look babygirl ! I won it off a scratch card"
In disappointment and in disbelief.
"Nanna is possibly on her death bed and your worried about a damn scratch card."
"Watch your mouth gurl you crazy." She laughed shoving it into her Jean pocket.
"The hell with that woman "
I knew they had problems in the past but I didn't think it was that bad and I damn showl wasn't going to let her speak on it in front of me.
"The hell with her ? The woman who basically raised me kept up with grades your sick !"
I could tell she wasn't hearing that shit so I said something that would hit her right to the heart.
"Protected me and took me in whenever that nasty ass boyfriend of your touched me."
"Not this shit again"
I've told my mom before about James and she never believed me the last time I spoke on it I was 16 I never said anything after that about it anymore.
"You wanna pretend like grandma don't exist but you can praise that nasty ass nigga !" I yelled getting in her face I was furious my grandma was everything to me.
"Wow okay so you say he touched you that's so bad " she said imatating my my voice.
"That man rapes me ! And you know that-"
"just stop Sahara ! I done told you about that lieng ! "
"I can't believe you gone chose him over me."
She shook her head and started lighting her cigar taking big puffs while he stood there smirking.
Her love for him was controlling her there was no way my mother would ever love me unless he was out of the picture. But depending in my heart even if he did leave that wouldn't make her love me that would actually piss her off and blame me.
I was about to let it go until she started up again.
"I don't know why you so crazy over her anyway shit she left me my grandma- hell your great grandma  is the one that that raised me just because she did a good job with you-"
I slammed my bookbag down and walked towards her getting in her face.
"Don't ever speak on her , she  could've sold you for a peice of rock and she still would be a better mother then you bitch-"
With tears streaming out of her eyes She dropped her cigar and slapped me across the side of my face.
"I don't need this.... GET OUT !"
"Where am I supposed to go ?"
"I don't care I don't need you I should've aborted your ass when I had the chance." Screaming at me she threw a picture frame and it landed right on the stair case.
I held on to my face and grabbed my backpack running out the front door.
I didn't even know it was raining but the further I got away from that house the more free i felt I couldn't even feel my tears all I could feel was the raindrops running down my body. I hated rain but for the first time ever it felt like heaven...which was somewhere I wanted to be I couldn't believe my nanna was fading away.
I finally stopped running when someone honked their horn.
Turning aorund trying focus my vision through the rain drops a white expedition stopped on the curve. The windows were tinted real dark so I couldn't tell who it was and it was nobody I knew so I just stood there.
"Sahara ? "
I walked closer and the window was let down more.
"Mr. Vinson ?"
He opened the passenger door from the inside and I got in.
"What are you doing out here in the rain ?"
I didn't say anything I just sat there fiddling with the zipper on my backpack.
"Okay well where do you need to go."
"I don't know "
"'hara ? "
I didn't have many friends a couple associates maybe but even if so I never told anyone about what went on in my house. With all of the hurt building up it felt like my throat was closing in my heart speeding in my chest.
"My mom kicked me out and I don't have anywhere to go." I cried trying to wipe my face but my tears we're coming down faster then I could wipe them.
Reaching in the back seat he grabbed his suit coat and put it around me.
"We gone figure this out okay ? "
I nodded and started giving him directions back to my house. Much as I hated to say it I had no choice but to go back home I didn't have anywhere else to go.
He parked out front then we both got out rushing to the porch for shelter from the rain.
Before we could even knock on the door the door opened wild and fast and my mother stood there behind the screen door.
"I don't want her here so whoever-"
"Mrs. Jackson- "
"Take her ass to the shelter I don't care where she go."
My heart was literally breaking to peices everything I did for this woman.
"Okay well can you let her atleast come get her things ?."
She rolled her eyes and moved out of the way letting me in.
Mr.Vinson didn't come in he just sat on the porch and waited for me soon as I got to my room I could tell everything was ransacked my drawers were open , my jewelry box was laying on the floor and my matress was slid halfway off.
"No no no no no no no" I cried rushing to my closet. Throwing clothes across the room from behind I went threw all of my shoe boxes emptying them all.
"No !" I screamed throwing the last box against the wall.
I rushed back down stairs with the money rubber bands I had wrapped around all of my saved money.
When I came down my mother was just standing in the kitchen pretending to wash dishes my mother never washed dishes that how I knew she was guilty.
"Where is my money?" My voice was breaking as tears ran down my face while I stood there still soaking wet.
She just stood there looking at the rubber bands.
"Sahara ?!" Mr.vinsen yelled through the screen door.
I rushed her and jacked her by her shirt pinning her against the wall.
"3thousand dollars !! I could kill you right now! " I screamed starring into her droopy eyes. She was so high she couldn't even focus.
Mr vinson came in and grabbed me carrying me out the front door. At this point I couldn't do anything but sobb
"Everything I did for you and you do this to me !."
With Mr vinson carrying me in his arms everyone was standing in the middle of the street and on the sidewalks watching and whispering. It was no secret everyone knew my mother was a crackhead but they had no idea how I was being treated. I kept all theese secrets just to make her look like a good person but I was so good at it I forgot the truth.