A Thousand Words | ✓

Chapter Eighteen: A Thousand Steps Forward

"And that's why we take one step at a time," she replied, "closer and closer to whatever it is we want to achieve. Love, trust, adoption, anything! It's a saying that keeps us going, Reece." I smiled as I nodded, taking in every optimistic word.

* * *

"You're spoiling the kids with all this candy," Jessica whispered as the girls huddled together in the middle of the living room's floor, each with their own pile of candy. It wasn't Halloween yet, but they sure were getting a head start on the sugar hype for the next few days.

"You can thank the rowdy, misbehaving seventh graders," I whispered back teasingly.

Jessica smiled before catching hold of her bottom lip as a thought hit her. "I wanna show you something," she said. Pushing herself off the doorframe, she grabbed my hand and lead me up the stairs. It was dark as we entered her bedroom in the attic until an antique style lamp lit up the room with a warm, dim glow. She released my hand and stood in front of her wardrobe, making me grin.

"Are you showing me Narnia?" I joked, crossing my arms as I watched her. Jessica laughed, shaking her head without looking at me as she hauled the wardrobe to the side, it's pegs making a horrible screeching noise against the wooden floors. My eyes widened as I caught glimpse of the door hidden behind it. "Woah," I said. "Is that the new portal?"

Shoulders falling, Jessica turned to look at me flatly. "How 'bout you grab that blanket on my bed and get over here. It's pretty cold in Narnia."

Still grinning with amusement, I took the folded blanket and came behind Jessica  as she slid the lock out of place and pulled the door open, revealing a narrow platform. "That's not Narnia," I whispered near her ear. Though I was barely touching her, I watched Jessica's shoulders tense.

"No, it's not," she replied, sounding a little breathless. The platform was much like the one we had to climb to find Jessica the night on the roof. It suddenly hit me where we were going. The picture of Jessica's ten year old self flashed in my mind, along with the wall of tally marks.

The ladder creaked beneath our weight. If you were expecting some fancy garden at the top of this building, then you were sadly mistaken. There was absolutely nothing up here except a couple bricks stacked together against one side of the wall, and dirt and grime covering the whole perimeter. Well, that and . . .

"The tally marks."

Jessica wrapped her arms around her waist and nodded. Slowly, I walked alongside the walls of the building, looking down at the tally marks that covered half of one side. It was weird to see them in person, like comparing a picture of something you see online to the real thing. I bent down and ran my fingers across the white chalk. A long piece of cardboard was stacked on a pile of bricks with another pair holding down the cardboard.

"That cardboard was practically cemented there so it would protect the tally marks from getting washed away by the rain," Jessica explained, coming to my side. "It's amazing how it still remained. I used to come up here to be completely alone, like if I wanted to cry without the kids or Sylvia hearing through the door. Used to sit right there on those bricks. Haven't came up in a while now," she said quietly as she gazed at the tally marks. "Besides Sylvia coming up here to bring me back inside, you're the first person I've brought up here."

I frowned at her. "You haven't brought Charlotte?" I asked. She shook her head, and I grinned at her. "Well, I should I feel honored then, shouldn't I?"

"It's not much of a view and there's nothing really to do up here," she said with a light laugh. Raising a challenging eyebrow, I took her hand in mine once more and pulled her towards the pile of bricks and sat down. Jessica avoided my eyes as I took the blanket and pulled it across our shoulders.

"Technology, sunshine, can be used anywhere," I told her as I then took out my phone and earbuds. Her head tentatively dropped against my shoulder as I pulled up my music library and, of course, played all songs by The Cab. "See?" I said, placing the phone on my lap and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Now we got some background music."

More at ease, Jessica pulled her knees up to her chest as she snuggled closer. If this wasn't another step closer to trust and affection, then I don't know what was. This was progress all right. Hand still in mine, Jessica began to play with my fingers as the sounds of car honking and Bad filled our ears.

"Are you frustrated with me?" she asked after a moment.

"Mmm, what do you mean?" I asked.

"That I'm still so afraid of giving us a chance despite how we feel about each other, despite how we act with each other?" she murmured.

I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I understand, Jess, believe me. I can wait," I insisted softly into her hair.

Jessica sighed shakily, sounding frustrated with herself. " Just – just give me some time," she whispered.

Capturing her hand in mine, I raised it to my lips and pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles. "One step at a time, sunshine, one step at a time . . ."

* * *

Okay, not much happened, but a bit necessary. Showcase is next chapter and just thinggss coming up so stick around ;) Good luck to those who are back to school/almost back to school, I go back on the 25th so updates might be sporadic from then on. But I'm very determined to get these next few chapters up for you guys cause of what is planned so see you soon!

-jesse xx