Relive your memories ( bnha fanfic ) ( Kinda DekuBowl )

Cold

Enji only watched

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Todoroki Shoto was born, Enji didn't want to do this anymore- but he'd come so far, it would be just a huge waste if he didn't- his last son, he was born with half sides, Enji knew by just looking at him that he was the one who could overtake All Might's position

He wonders if this was all worth it, the things his children went through just so he could overthrow All Might, it's wrong he knows it's wrong, but he's come so far, he can't just stop now

So he doesn't

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"I can't handle seeing his- his right side anymore, it reminds me too much of him- it reminds me too much of Hyorei- I can't do this anymore I can't I keep seeing him whenever I look into his eyes I-"

"Mother? Are you okay? What are you...."

"Oh sweetie... come here for a moment won't you?" Shoto is hesitant as he walks but the moment he got close his mother grabbed him by the arms and-

"Rei!" Enji screams, his mother was startled and her hand stumbled, the water poured over his left side instead, Rei gasped and put the kettle down, hugging her son tightly

"I'm so sorry- I'm so sorry my baby boy I'm so sorry-"

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Enji tried his best not to feel guilty as he sent his wife to a psychiatric hospital, she needs it, he's been pushing her so hard, he doesn't want to, but he doesn't want to risk anything happening like that ever again, maybe it'll also be better for him to stay away from her in the mean time, he hired a well known therapist for her, he hopes she gets better

When Shoto turned twelve, he wanted to visit his mother but Enji just couldn't let it happen, instead he leaves him a bouquet of his favorite lilies he remembers Shoto used to love

Enji was quiet when he saw it charred and thrown in the trash can

Shoto doesn't use his left side anymore, Enji knows why, the boy despised him, thinking that it's all his fault, but he knows Shoto is more reliant on his quirk, if he refuses to use both sides it'll be dangerous, not to mention the fact that if he uses his ice more he'd get frostbites, he saw Fuyumi treating him after training, so day after day, he thinks of ways to force Shoto to use his fire

He needs to balance himself out, his quirk has almost no drawbacks except for this, but he doesn't, he stubbornly refuses

A few days later, a new villain emerged, someone who calls themselves The Arsonist, Enji is quiet as he watched, he knows those flames, after all

They were his

Enji tries to track him, he's a pro hero, his emotions shouldn't hinder them from his work but each and every time he sees those flames, he can't handle it, call him a coward, call him a wuss, he doesn't care, he can't handle seeing those so familiar flames, he can't handle going against them, he can't handle going against his son

It becomes worst as the The Arsonists name grew, and one day, he declared a war against the pro hero, the media was crazy, asking where the number two hero was in all of this, Endeavor stayed quiet, he doesn't say anything but he comes to the said location where Arsonist is attacking

His son looks at him with so much hatred as he refuses to use more flames as he can, he knows he should, Arsonist is already a public threat

But he doesn't, he takes blow after blow, but never directly hitting his son, he knows he can win, he can probably end it any moment he can but he doesn't, he felt tears run down his cheeks as his son screamed, it's been years since he heard it and even by just hearing it feels him with so much relief, his son is alive and even though the words he speak is nothing but malice against him, the words are for him

For him as a father

For the first time in live television, Endeavor mourned

Kasai lunges at him, crashing him to the ground, a hand around his neck

"Please, come home Kasai" he manages to say

"Don't call me by that fucking name, you have no rights to cry, you're a horrible father-"

"Kasai, please I tried my hardest to find him-"

"You didn't try hard enough! If it weren't for me finding him he'd be dead! And now I'm stuck in some pets collar to the league, it's all your fault, you didn't look hard enough, if you just fucking looked hard enough this wouldn't have happened!" Endeavor clenched his fist

Why didn't he look hard enough?

He could've sent out a research team

He could've done something

Why didn't he try hard enough?

Why?

Kasai growled and got of him

"It's not even worth it killing you, Hyorei is too kind, he doesn't blame you, but it's all your fault, you're lucky that he'll cry if you died you piece of shit" words like that felt like poison to him, he watched as his son was engulfed in a portal, away from his sight again

Why wasn't he good enough?

// extra notes : Dabi's original name is Kasai, also the fight between Endeavor and Arsonist happened when Shoto was 13, what happened the previous chapters is a different one, pls don't doxx me