Sleepwalking // xBayani [ON HOLD]

xii

I could hear Will and Trevor talking quietly though my hollow door, what sounded like organizing me an appointment in therapy. Caring about their cause was the last of my concern; I was more worried about therapy itself. What people said about it was very confusing. Some people thought therapy was a grand gesture towards them, like it was the best thing ever. Others considered it hell itself because "the therapists never know what we're actually going through, they'd pretend that they did."

Honestly, I doubt that anyone really knows what I'm going through.

I need to think about this for a second; my mind― unknowingly suicidal, as my mother so deeply clarified, wants to get away from this planet. Yet, in the mind I currently am in, I'd prefer life over death. I mean, that has to be why I held after being fully fledged into a car heading my direction at 40 miles an hour, right? Because I treasured life?

But why did my mind want to die?

I mean, life itself is a gift, living is a gift, why would my mind want to throw that all away?

And with that thought, I fell asleep; and didn't sleepwalk.

I woke up the next morning around 11 AM. My bed was still intact and I was still laying the way I was when I fell asleep not 8 hours ago. I was relieved. Sitting up and stretching out, I went over to my computer for around 5 minutes before I heard my door open. A smoky scent filled the air.

"Yo, Jordan," I hear Will say as he entered my room.

"Hi Will. What's up?" I turn around quickly, hiding my grimace from the smell.

"So― you know how I live on the opposite side of the world as of now?"

"Yeah...?" I had a feeling I knew where Will was going with this. To be honest, it both excited and worried me. I felt very controversial.

"Well, I had a talk with your mom and my parents, and she said it'd be okay if I moved here with you. She said Karissa was moving out next month anyway because of college, down at Santa Barbara Uni, so I could take her room.

"Wait― are you serious?" I said. I was sincerely confused why Mom would let Will live here before Trevor, even though Trevor had been down here so often and asked her multiple times if he could live here with us. He prefered the states than Canada.

"Yeah! Isn't it great?" Will smiled, a smile taking over a half of  his face. I smiled too, because Will was still one of my best friends.

"Are you going to Uni here?" I asked.

"Yeah, I plan on it. They accepted me, Seattle Uni. I'm moving in here in a month." It was July, almost August. Schooling started first day of September.

"Oh― okay. And..."

"And... what?" Will looked at me, nervous.

"You need to stop with the smokes, okay, buddy?"

"Wha― I know... I'm too oblivious, aren't I?"

"About us recognizing it, yes." I deadpan without questioning what I was going to drop next, "Give me them."

"N―no."

"Will, you have to live without them. All of them; any more boxes you have in your bags, give me them."

"No."

"You're addicted. It's a bad addiction. Give me the cigarettes."

"I will not."

"Will―"

"Jordan, I'm not giving them up."

"Do I need to take them from you? I'm giving you an easy option, because either way you're no longer going to have them here. What got you so addicted in the first place?"

I could tell my question took him aback.

"I... It was in the month you were out, Jordan. I missed talking to you, and I felt alone so I kind of― I went to a drugstore one day, and the man behind the counter was trying to get me to smoke one..."

"Will..."

"That one turned into two, and two turned into three, and before I knew it I was out a hundred dollars due to the god damn cigarettes."

"We're trashing them, now. We'll find a way for you to cope without them. No more smokes, you hear? You can get cancerfrom smoking those things, you know that, right?"

"Precautions were unfortunately not taken when the first one went in."

"Get the boxes."

"Fine." He pulls one out of his pocket, I open the window, and throw them down. They land in the trashbin that's immediately on the side of the building, exactly down from where my window was.

Will returns a minute later with three more boxes; god damn; and gives them to me. I sigh when I ask, "All of them?" He nods in confirmation as I throw the three boxes out the window, again all landing in the trashbin.

"Are you okay?" is the first thing I ask him. He nods quickly, and we go out into the kitchen.

"What's up, guys?" I hear Trevor say. He's chowing down on a floppy pancake that was obviously made by him, as 1., my mother was at work, and 2., her pancakes are much more... symmetrical. I could see Karissa watching TV on the couch, the show on being Supernatural. She was into it, like Emily was... I actually learned that I can like what I want to like, whether or not it was what my cheating ex liked. so I liked Supernatural.

"Nothing really," Will said, grabbing himself a bowl from the cabinet my mom labeled as "Bowls and Cups" with a little piece of duct tape and a sharpie marker. The cereal boxes were on top of the fridge, so he grabbed a box of Cap'n Crunch and poured some milk from the fridge.  He sat down in between us and dug in.

"Will just gave up all of his cigarettes." I smirked. He continued to eat despite us talking about him.

"Did he? What'd you do with them?"

"I threw them out my window; they're in a trash bin down there. And don't worry, the trash pickup is today."

"I'm proud of you, Will, you really pulled through. Congrats." He whispers.

"Thanks. I hope I feel the way I did before I started; normal. Human."

"That's always a good way to feel." I say, the TV conflicting with my speaking. Sam and Dean were once again fighting demons, trying to let out a group of trapped people in a sewer system. It was ridiculous, the noise the show made. But I enjoyed it.

"So what do you say? Walk around town with the guys after breakfast?" Trevor says, "They're all up for it."

"Why not? I really would like more fresh air after the past couple days."

"Okay, I'll let them know." Trevor picks up his phone, creates a mass text and murmurs, typing, "Meet at Chipotle in 30. Day around Seattle with Jordan." I got the message too― I could feel my phone vibrate when he pressed send. Will’s phone agreed to vibrate as well. He looked at his phone, probably in the moment forgetting that Trevor had just sent a group message.

Phones vibrate again, first a message from Weston saying, “Okay! I’ll be there! BTW, can I bring a friend? I met her yesterday.”

Trevor quickly texts “Sure.” as more texts from Spencer, Liam, and Justin come through, saying that they’d all be there. Of course Liam would; he’s obsessed.

“Okay boys, let’s seize the day.” I say, grabbing one of my mom’s world―infamous muffins off of the table. “We’ll be back later, Rissa.”

“Don’t die,” she says casually. I feel a pang in my stomach but dismiss it quickly due to the fact that she was unaware of the happenings in the past 12 hours.

“I don’t plan on it.”