Three AM // Hyunin

Beautiful Boyfriend

     It was around 3 am. Thoughts were running around in Jeongin's mind. Bad thoughts. They bugged him and he wanted them gone. He'd gotten into an argument with Chris which they came to level on, however, Jeongin still felt bad for saying such hurtful things to the elder and the thoughts haunted him. He could only think of one solution to ending these thoughts. The others were in the living room, fallen asleep after watching a movie, so Jeongin was alone in his room.

     He scrambled to his feet and out of his room. Remembering the time, he stealthily made his way towards the bathroom. He opened one of the drawers to find exactly what he was looking for. A pack of disposable razors.

     He grabbed one and made his way back to the room, turning on the light, locking the door, and sitting down. He stared at the plastic covered razor in his hand.

     I don't need to do this again... He thought. But... I deserve it... One for each bad thing I said to him. A voice said back. Without hesitation, he began to pick at the plastic lining of the razor. He lost his grip and felt a prick on his thumb. He watched as a bit of blood rose at the surface.

     He ignored it, picking off the first layer. However, the blood from his finger made the plastic wet and yet again, he lost his grip. His index finger which was on the blade was now bleeding. There was a chunk taken out of it.

     Jeongin's eyes widened as he realised what he was doing. Stop! Stop it! He thought. He rushed out of his room, running into someone on his way out.

     "Ah-" Jeongin let out a pained sound and looked up to see Hyunjin. Of course Hyunjin was only a bit taller than him, however, in this moment he seemed to tower over him. It made Jeongin feel small. Extremely small.

     Wrong, even.

     "Jeongin? Why are you up so late?" Hyunjin's voice was raspy and low. It pulled Jeongin from his thoughts and he looked away. He hid his hands in his sweater sleeves. Hyunjin didn't seem to notice.

     "I... Couldn't sleep." His voice sounded unsure. However, Hyunjin didn't seem to pick up on that either. Too tired to notice, perhaps.

     "Me neither. I woke up an hour ago and haven't fallen back to sleep. I thought eating something might help. I know it's not good but it'll get my mind off things." Hyunjin said. "Want something?" Jeongin thought for a bit before shaking his head.

     "I have to go to the washroom." He said, quickly escaping. He sat in the bathroom, back pressed against the door, looking at his now blood covered sweater. He cringed at the sight and grabbed a piece of toilet paper, compressing the bleeding finger.

     No matter what he did, the bleeding wouldn't stop. He felt his heart race and his eyes widen. No, no! The bandaids weren't in the bathroom. They were in the medicine cabinet, past the kitchen.

     After careful contemplation, Jeongin opened the door. Hyunjin stood outside, blocking the entrance. He looked at him to see the box of bandaids and an unsure look on the elders face. Jeongin's eyes filled with tears at the sight. Does he know? He can't know!

     "I thought you would need these. Is your finger alright?" He asked. He saw that Jeongin was a bit too choked up to answer, frozen in his place. "Sorry, did I scare you?" Hyunjin chuckled. He wiped away a tear from Jeongin's eye and pushed past him and into the washroom.