To Love and To Leave

15: Keeling

Once Joey had reached the pack house to drop Cam off, he fled the scene. Cam looked around, dazed from the speedy wolf ride, before stumbling into the house. Melody was there to greet her the moment she stepped through the door.

"Come with me," she said to Cam, her tone still somehow soft compared to the edge on her words.

Cam couldn't speak for a few moments while Melody dragged her up the stairs. Her brain at last summoned the nerve cells to make her mouth move to ask, "What's wrong?"

"Alpha called a few minutes ago to check in on the pack..." Melody swallowed guiltily. Their eyes met before she prodded Cam to her room on the second floor. "Anyway, he asked how you were holding up while Logan is away. And I told him you were having fun with Joey."

Confused, Cam pinched her brows together and took a seat on the bed. Melody closed the door to seal them in the room alone.

"I don't see the issue," Cam admitted.

"Logan was there," the Alpha-Female blurted and, for the first time since they had met, her cheery demeanor slipped. "He heard that you were with Joey and he likely pieced it together that you were alone."

Cam rolled her eyes. "So the big bad wolf is mega pissed now?"

"Yes." Her ivory-skinned cheeks flushed. "You don't understand how territorial mates can be, Camila. He might kill Joey. Or try, at least. Alpha wouldn't let him actually do it."

Joey. Cam's thoughts turned to the boy, how innocent and sweet he was. If Logan tried to take his life just because he didn't like them spending time together, she would have to stop him. All the poor kid was doing was keeping her entertained while that jerk left her in a thousand shades of confusion.

"Is he coming back from the business trip?" she asked Melody. "When should I be expecting his wrath?"

A disappointed tilt curved Melody's lips. "I don't know, but I would suspect soon. You should prepare yourself to console him."

Console him? Cam tried not to let her appall show, though it proved exceedingly difficult. Even the idea of consoling that schmuckhead made her blood boil, but she knew Melody was hardly the person to take her anger out on. The girl was just trying to help her. If only Cam wanted her help. 

"Okay," she forced out reluctantly. "I'll just sit in my room and wait then, I guess."

"Thank you." Melody sighed and let her shoulders sag. "Camila, I want you to see that Logan really is a good match for you. All mates are. If you give each other a chance, you'll be surprised at how right it feels."

"I don't think either of us will ever stop being stubborn long enough for that to happen."

Smiling sadly, Melody patted her shoulder. "You will, eventually. I promise that."

Cam clenched her teeth and watched the Alpha-Female leave her room, the door closing quietly behind her. This man—or wolf or whatever the hell he was—drove her insane. She couldn't stand that he wouldn't really try to make an effort to make this situation at least a little better, nor allow her to hang out with people she did enjoy without getting all jealous.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you," she muttered under her breath.

=^=

Logan did not return that day. Or that night, or even the next day and night. In fact, he didn't return with Alpha and his Gamma, Shawn. Though she wanted to be happy he seemed to be staying away, she only felt dread. Each day that had passed made her feel more isolated and depressed and utterly useless than she ever had in the entirety of her life.

In the time Alpha and his primary backup men had been absent, while Cam withered further away into her shell, Adrian came to spend time with her. She knew Adrian felt bad about the Joey incident and even more about Logan's bizarre behavior. And when Adrian wasn't there to distract or covertly comfort her, Melody and Tally were talking her into visiting pack members to stay occupied.

The fifth day in Logan's absence felt particularly grueling. Alpha and Gamma Shawn had been back for nearly whole day by this point, and they along with their mates and Cam were seated at the kitchen table for dinner. Melody had prepared lasagna with the help of Tally and Cam, so the group chatted and ate in relative happiness. Cam remained silent as she had been the last few days. Moreover, she didn't want to dampen any of their joy. Everyone was fine and dandy with their mates, and they didn't really want to feel the strange empathy or pity for Cam and her missing mate.

She was thinking back to what Alpha had said the evening before when he and Shawn had come home. After the men had greeted their mates and practically made out, Alpha had told her, "He left, Camila. He will be back some day soon but I don't know when."

Later that night when Melody came up to check on her, Cam asked, "How could Alpha just let him leave without saying where he was going? Isn't that illegal or something?"

She couldn't even pretend she no longer cared about Logan. Something inside of her was dying without him, rotting its way through her, and she had no choice but to at least wonder and ask.

"Alpha could find him," Melody had replied. "It wouldn't be hard to track Logan down. But Alpha won't do it."

"Why not?"

"Logan is not the typical wolf, Camila. His role in this pack is very independent, so he used to being able to come and go as he pleases. Alpha isn't going to demand he come back because he knows this is how Logan functions." Melody had forced a smile, squeezed her hand, and rose from where she'd been sitting on the edge of the bed. "He is a difficult wolf to understand and even more challenging human. But he is your wolf and he is your human. I have faith that you will be the one to ground him."

Cam was brought out of her reverie by a painful squeeze in her abdomen. Stunned by the abrupt discomfort, she grimaced and tried to discreetly leave the kitchen. She assumed something in the lasagna hadn't settled well with her stomach. By the time she made it to her bathroom upstairs, she crumpled to her knees with a gasp of agony. She'd never felt anything so excruciating. It felt like her guts were being shredded by some animal's claws. As the pain intensified, she was able to feel where it stung the most: her ovaries.

Oh my God, I must be rupturing an ovary or something, she thought before gritting her teeth to ward off a scream. I'm never going to be able to have children!

The next wave of pain was so intense that she couldn't hold it in any longer. Her throat seemed tear under the force of her wail.

"Help me," she cried. "God, help me! Someone help me!"

She slumped onto her stomach, wet face pressed to the cool wood floor. All she wanted right then was to die. To be rid of the pain.

Cam never heard the door open, and she wouldn't have known anyone was in the room until she heard a very distinct voice curse very loudly. It was Melody.

"Alpha!" Melody shouted. "It's Camila! She's keeling."

The pain was swelling high over her head, so high the only thing she could think before being sucked under was, What the hell is keeling?