A Weird Kind of Love

Intro

I'm lying on the floor, crying out in pain. Why? Because the person I want to impress the most doesn't seem to have a care in the world for me.

 Years, I spent years trying to do whatever he wants. I want to meet up to HIS standards every step of the way, but still, I just can't seem to be good enough. Yet, everyone around me is. He shows me their accomplishments and how they are successful but what about me? What about all the concerts and ceremonies you missed? What about all the opportunities I missed because you didn't think it was worth it? What about everything I did? Do I not deserve a praise, something I've been yearning to get for years from you? Or maybe I'm too selfish to even ask for that...

 Today once again, my insecurities get the best of me. I'm changing myself to fit other people's views on perfection, or to meet my own high standards. It will last a few days until I come spiraling back down on how I will never be perfect. So why do I try, time and time again. Because of hope. The hope that someday, I will be good enough for someone. The hope that someday I won't need to find myself changing features of me to please me or anyone else. That someone else will find me and stop me They will pick up the broken pieces and help me be whole again.

For now, at this moment, all I have is you. I plug in my headphones and rest my head against the wall, your music resonating through my heart, hoping that one day you will be mine. I stare at the walls longingly.

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"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

I open my eyes to the scorching sun. Whoever ruined my sleep is dead to me. I lift my head up from the table at the park, peeling my head of the metal table. Surely leaving marks on the face. I looked around for the source of my bad luck finally noticing the growing crowd around the edge of the, what used to be, a once quiet crowd. I wonder what the crowd is for, I chuckle, people will go crazy following the latest celebrities or should I say random people who get their fifteen minutes of fame. I'm just happy with my daydreams of being with them. I look down smiling at my phone screen that showcased Min Yoongi's gummy smile. He's gotten me through some tough times. I roll my eyes as watch another herd of fangirls walking my direction again. Who was it anyway?

I tugged at my earbuds hoping that I could continue listening to my music in peace for a little while longer. Maybe studying, err or what used to be studying, at the park wasn't such a good idea. Sighing as I heard another girl scream, I decide it's time for me to move on from this location. At this point, I want to go to get any work done for college.

Picking up my textbooks I walk down the street going considerably close to the large and still growing park. As I perk my head up to get a good look at who cause all this commotion, another wave of girls push past by me, tripping me into the crowd.

"Yah!" I scowled looking for the culprits who pushed me into the crowd. After a few kicks, shouting, scrapes, and no help at all, I got up. I should get out of this fangirl hell hole. I push through the crowds once again, trying to find some oxygen so I wouldn't suffocate in this blanket of desperation. I reach down and pat my pocket for my phone, I need some music from Yoongi to calm me down.

Patting around for a while, I finally realize that I needed to get sucked into the crowd again. Those stupid girls had made me lose my damn phone. I scowled as every second I waited, I could physically see the crowd get larger. Great...

I crouch putting my already scraped knees to the ground once again. Here goes nothing. I shuffle around the crowd, crawling past a bunch of smelly feet, hoping to find a black screen in the blue. The more I crawled the closer I was getting to the celebrity who ruined my study session, or so I'm guessing by the volume of the screams as I move closer.

"Can you believe our luck?!"

"I know right, I can't believe he's just walking around in some park"

"We are this close to getting his autograph"

"Ahhhhh, marry me, Yoo-"

My phone! I smile as I lunge at precious gem to protect it from any more kicks it may have gotten. Falling a few inches short, I grasp blindly at the ground hoping to touch something other than shoes. I...I think... I think I got it! My smile widens as my fingers slide past the cool screen. Ah, finally connected to my love again.

Crunch

No...That better have been the sound of someone eating some Cheetos because I don't want any cracks on my screen, especially as I was this close to getting it back without a scratch. I glare at the blurred figure hidden behind the many heads. This guy wasn't getting away so easily. I grabbed the black converse that had hurt my baby. Whoever this show-off was, he was going to get what he deserved. Witha determined grunt I held onto the the shoe and closed my eyes as time slowly slowed before my eyes.

One thing led to another and the deafening screams all stopped at once after a thud echoed across the park. Then, chaos.