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01❄️

It starts off like a surprise. Javier recalls Brian asked him, almost jokingly, that if he would want to leave for Autumn Classics, where Yuzuru has usually opened his season at in the last 2 years. Part of him could not yet forget urging need to revenge after not medaling in any major competition, with the exclusion of European Championship of course, and part of him did not want to even continue for the whole season. He knows a change of wind would be at least less suffocating than the guilt, the insecurities and self-doubting he had been breathing since the end of last season, so Javi packs his stuff anyways and Coach Orser takes his 2 prodigies to Autumn Classics for the opening of their Olympics season.

Yuzuru is a little bit happier than he expected, his fluffy hair bobbing, as he greets Javi in the way he always did when they started their mutual practice together, a pat on the back with a half-hug. They did not bump into each other often for a while, since the team decided that it would be better to separate their schedule, because of his training mate's well-known aggressiveness when it came to the Olympics Gold and for Javi's carefully-hidden-but-noticed-by-his-coach insecurities. It is lacking of the usual push that has pulled Javi through many seasons, but he is relieved that he could do things at his own pace for a while. Practice has been going on acceptably, not every jumping pass turning out perfect, but Javi assured himself that is just the beginning of the season. However, that Yuzuru is avoiding jumps, which he always threw out a bunch, and the absence of the 4Lutz that rumors had it that Yuzuru is chasing, does not escape Javi. He decides to put the matter aside, instead of digging too much into his training mate's state, for he also had a competition to prepare. At the end of the day, they are rivals after all. The competition passes by quickly, with Yuzuru setting a new world record, but loses the gold medal to Javi because of a quite messed-up free skate to Brian's terror-mixed pride. "Maybe this is why they wanted us to practice separately", Javier thinks to himself. Yuzuru is a whirlwind and it is extremely damaging to be caught into the middle of his acceleration sometimes.

Javi is light-hearted at the medal ceremony, feeling that some little confidence has come back to him, as he stands on the top of the podium, with Yuzuru holding a silver medal by his side. They are relaxed at the medal ceremony, goofing around and posing for some fans' photos, and it seems to like pieces are falling into place again. By the time they are out of the competition venue, getting ready to leave for the airport in one of the shuttle bus, Javi hears from in front of him, where his coach and training mate are trailing ahead, a discussion on something close to "legs, examined in Toronto" and caught a glimpse of Yuzuru's defensive and Brian's worried faces. He tries his best to look natural when the coach and skater duo hauling their luggage onto the bus, and the three sat down silently in remaining seats where Tracy is sitting nearby, and the bus's engine rumbles to life and everyone headed towards the airport. Javi hopes to take advantage of their little time to sleep, but could not get rid of the clog out of his mind. As he opens his eye, and takes a peek at the seat on the opposite aisle, Yuzuru is staring outside to the old buildings of Quebec absent-mindedly, and his grip tightens on his right knee. Javi does not think this should be the ending for their first competition in the season.

The Grand Prix Series is in full swing when Javi's first assignment takes place at the Cup of China. He has been in the series tons of time, but the first time ever in the series would not be half as unsettling as what he is feeling at the moment. Brian has been hospitalized since Skate Canada, so there he is, trying his best to be a responsible adult and look after himself. However, Javi's effort is in vain when he decides to taste some unusual local dishes from street vendors while having a walk to clear his mind after being placed 2nd after the short program and the result for his impulsiveness does not turn out well. After answering Brian's call checking on his conditions while striving to suppress the nausea that is crawling in his stomach, Javi gulps the digestive medicine that he is luckily reminded to pack into his suitcase by Laura, launches himself onto the bed and prays that this terrible feeling would go away by the time his free skate started the following day. Javi lures himself into sleep but his brain seemed to have different ideas and his mind ended wandering aimlessly. He recalls being second in qualifying competitions many times in the past, but not for the past few years. He thought of Yuzuru's silver in Rostelecom, a traditional silver at the beginning of the season, and then the quad evolution, with younger guys throwing in a used-to-be unimaginable number of quads, including jumps that nobody would expect to be possible to achieve, like the lutz. Javi suddenly feels like he is being left behind, as the sport is being pushed forward so rapidly, his training mate being one contributor and eagerly racing, while he is losing momentum. His thoughts wandered back to his and Patrick's friendly dinner in the summer, light-hearted and casual at the start, but as alcohol struck in, Patrick revealed his despair. In their sport, everyone who has been in the senior circuit for more than 10 years can be called a veteran, whom everyone expect will step out of the game soon. His friend surely had a tough season last year, and Patrick told Javi he would end his career after the upcoming Olympics. Javi once thought he still had time, and he was still capable of staying in the race, chasing, pushing Yuzuru for the better as they had ever done to each other since Yuzuru joined the Cricket Club, for there are not so many up-and-downs in this career but at this rate, he assumes it is time to prepare himself for the end, however regretful it may turn out. Maybe someday Yuzuru would not need him as a motivation anymore. As he drifts off to sleep, uncertainties and fear still floating around his head.