The lost Boy (Magical Artist AU)

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟎: 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

He looked at the other boy with such despair in his eyes, hands grasping for air but the only things they found were the soft fabric of his shirt. He clutched it harder, trying to bring him up to his level, everything felt too much but never him, he could never get enough of the other boy. It had been this way since day one, since he had laid eyes upon him, he had known he was just doomed in the most delicious way there existed.

He felt his body move on its own, curving inward in an attempt to relieve him for just a second but nothing did the trick, it was something so insidious... The ground felt wet on his back and he couldn't remember if it had rained, yet his clothes were soaked so he supposed it must have. What difference did it make anyway?

The boy tried to crawl, maybe he thought he could escape it, yet after hitting the ground once again he realized he couldn't. Breathless, he rolled on his back, facing the sky. It was as if the earth was ready to open up to welcome him back, you are dust and to dust you shall return, right? But he didn't feel like going back yet. He pulled on the small piece of clothing he still had in his grip, the motion taking all the strength he had left.

"Hold me."

Those little words barely whispered sounded too much like a dying wish, the other boy kneeling beside him closed the space between them in a heartbeat. His hands were uncontrollably trembling, he couldn't even get himself to pick his friend up in his arms to hold him tight like he was dying to, his mind was all over the place.

A slight breeze brushed his sensitive skin, it made his whole-body shiver even if he was about combust alive. For a second he asked himself if it wasn't the entire universe going against him, it would always be the two of them against the world, that he was sure of. Right now, it was like the air itself was weighing on him and pushing him against the ground, telling him to stop struggling and accept his faith.

"I'm here, I'm right here, I swear I'll never let go."

So many stars in the sky he could wish upon, yet he doubted any of them would answer his call. There was something desperate in him that would make them turn away, he didn't belong among them and he was now to pay the price. At this instant, they were no longer the source of guidance he so often sought, all he could see were hundreds of tiny Damocles swords waiting to fall on him, sentencing him to death.

They were merciless judges, those who had seen what had occurred in this house and knew how deeply wrong it was, he wasn't supposed to be like this, it wasn't how nature was made. Yet he had seen them so many times, but never they had shone brighter than on that night, it was so beautiful for a way to go. Surrounded by nature, trees all around, silent witness of that night that would stay engraved in the both of them.

He couldn't even tell what was happening to him, it was like someone had replaced all the blood flooding in his veins with lava, it was like being set on fire from the inside. He raised a hand before him to examine it, the movement snatching a mournful cry out of him. Every little vein he had in his body was glowing with an angry red, just a little bit more and he could have seen right through his flesh.

When the pain hit another peak, all he could do was open his lips and scream his heart out, and the inhumane noise that got out froze life around them.

"Make it stop! Please!" He pleaded, to him, to anyone that could put an end to it. "Make it stop, I can't anymore, I'm so tired, please..."

His begging ended when his curving up body fell back on the ground, red tears streaming down his face, blood flowing out everywhere, from his nose to his ears. The boy would occasionally cough and thick blood would flow out of his mouth, he couldn't do anything to keep it from sliding down his chin and dirtying the other boy.

They stared at each other, the same pain reflected in the other's gaze. He thought about everything they had been through, all the things he had learned with him, things he thought he would never have the chance to experience.

"It's too soon. I don't want to go..."

Tears streaming down his face, he tried to get up again but the pain, it just pinned him down and even the slightest movement put his whole body in agony. He had never thought one could be in such suffering but now all he wanted to do was let it slide over him. He wanted to fight it, so badly, but how can you fight something that's within you, that not even yourself can reach? At some point, he just felt like going to sleep, to let it go.

"Just tell me, just tell me what I can do to ease it, I'll do anything, I swear to you... I can't bear it anymore, watching you suffering is the worst, there must be something, please tell me."

The boy with him was crying loudly but he got his hands to stop trembling, bringing them back against his heart in a silent prayer, to every god he knew, he just wanted it to stop, for him to go back to the way things were. When he thought he was about to slip away from him, he found the words that had been stuck in his throat for so long.

"I don't," he stuttered after he seemed to have gotten his voice back. "I don't want you to go."

The voice that answered trembled at first, then it just collapsed.

"Don't leave me behind, please, I just... I can't do it without you. Fuck, I can't lose you."

The boy kneeled down and he felt his body being moved, the fire surging in his veins was already killing him slowly. Even then, if increasing the pain meant he'd get to see his pretty face one again, then he'd be delighted to suffer for him and him only. Once again, it felt so wrong, so terrible unfair to him. He had finally found him and now he was going to lose him forever, and that pain simply overpowered the physical one.

"I'll find a way, I promise you, it's not too late, we can still-"

Suddenly his vision blurred and he couldn't hear anything anymore, the sky started moving and he swore the stars were making fun of him. The sounds all around him were muffled, from the sweet voice talking to him to his own cries, if he didn't know better he'd be certain to have his head underwater.

"Stay with me, stay with me, you hear me? You're not allowed to go!"

He would have given everything he had in his possession to just stay by his sides, or at least for him to forget everything about him. This way he could give him a chance at a life after he was gone, because he knew the boy would grieve his entire life and would keep himself from being happy. He knew it because it was what he would have done if it had been the other way around.

His hands automatically reached for him, the boy intertwined their fingers together and with his other hand, he started playing with his hair. The feeling of his fingers gently going through it made his heart pound. The boy would brush them aside to be able to remember every single one of his features in his head even though he knew he could retrace it in his sleep.

He melted into his touch, but he could tell he was silently crying, his whole body shaking with sorrow. He felt the tremors in his voice but all he wanted was to hear him, for him to talk to him and take him through it, he didn't want to be alone into this. It was selfish but he needed to know it hurt for him just as much as it did for him. Damn, he loved that fool like he had never loved anyone, not even himself.

"I'm so sorry, it's my fault, I should have, I should have fought harder, they didn't... they couldn't and I just..."

He felt him getting closer, his head was resting on his lap and the boy crouched down so their forehead would touch. They were close enough to kiss but they didn't, his fresh breath brushing against his slightly opened lips, a silent scream escaping him. Right now wasn't the time. Instead, the boy just closed his eyes and enjoyed their proximity like he had done before, taking in the soft scent of his shampoo, the way his clothes would always smell of them together, his light perfume... It smelled like him, and all he wanted was to drown himself in him.

He didn't want him to be the cause of his sadness and yet he was, he had sworn to never make him cry again but he hadn't been able to hold that promise either. He had failed him, over and over. He closed his eyes, the warmth of the body he desired so much gave him the relief he had stopped hoping for.

"Stay with me."

His voice broke as a red veil blocked his vision, the sky was now purple and the pretty eyes of the boy he loved looked like two beautiful rubies in the night.

"Always..."