The Mirage

Part 1

"Every day, every moment seems dull, purposeless. Not something to look forward to. It's not like I have anything to look forward to nowadays. 

The only thing that keeps me going, are the goals I have set in my life and the urge to not leave before they are accomplished. So that when it's actually the time for me to go, I would have actually accomplished something and wouldn't be a complete failure.

 Not to say that I am a complete failure now. I may have failed a few times, okay a lot of times, but the thing is, I have some unfinished business before which I just can't let go. Before which, I just can't die. So till then I am just hanging on."

I close my diary and get ready for bed. As usual I know sleep is not going to come to me before midnight. Unless I am really tired, I don't get sleep. I have to tire my eyes out by reading stories online before giving in to sleep.

As I get into my bed, the cheap quality one, though it did cost a lot. It has dents in certain  areas and looking at them you can clearly make out that I am gifted with curves. Not that I really like to flaunt them every day, just saying. 

I scroll down and check all the notifications which I rarely do, by the way, when I see a follow request on Instagram from a guy called Rajat Singh.

It's a normal thing. People check other people profiles, search through their friends and send them follow requests till we follow them back and then they unfollow you. Just so it seems that they have many followers but they only follow selected people. I don't know why they do that, I think it gives their egos a boost. Well at least I am happy with rarely checking my social media account (note that lack of 's' in the social media account).

So this guy who has sent me a request looks pretty much normal like every other guy with a few selfies and pictures with his friends. Some of the pictures also have people in formal wear standing beside the cubicles so they must be his colleagues from work. There are also pictures with younger kids and a couple of middle aged people, that means he is a family man.

(Yeah I know it's totally stalkerish, but what can I say, growing up reading Nancy Drew, Famous Five, Secret Seven and then watching the hot Benedict Cumberbatch in Sherlock Holmes series you get those detective tendencies. Also the family 'jyotish' stated that people of my 'rashi' are suspicious and analytical in nature and should pursue in such careers like detective, police or any kind of law enforcer in general. But seeing as the only sporty thing I do, is play Subway Surfer in my mobile that's kinda out of question)

So as I ponder on my deducing abilities, I get a message request from Rajat Singh. I accept it as I have nothing better do (Huh, now whose fault is that Miss Insomniac?)

"Hi. Nice career choice."

And with that I want to punch him on his pretty little face (Wait, did I say pretty? Doesn't matter it won't be pretty when I am done with him, huh).

I am very sensitive with my choice of career. I'm doing M.Sc in Human Psychology, much to my father's dismay. He wanted at least one of his children to be an engineer like him, so when I, his youngest offspring declares her interest in psychology, let's say I got an idea of human psychology that day.

"Why? Do you have a problem with it?"

"No no no. Don't get me wrong. Actually it's pretty cool. My younger sister took it in her 11th to just avoid Biology. But now is very much interested in it, and is thinking of pursuing it as a career."

"Okaaaaay. So what's so cool about it?"

(I know it's rude to reply like that but who cares he's a stranger after all. Anyways I get to decide whether he can talk to me or not considering that I haven't accepted his request and there always the option of blocking people on social media.)

Then those small black dots start appearing when someone is taking a long time to reply. They appear, do their circling routine then stop and then start again. This goes on for a long time and I actually start feeling sleepy so I close the Instagram app and go to Whatsapp to check for any important message. After that when I'm about to switch off my phone, Rajat replies.

"Yeah that was pretty lame. But my sister would love to talk to you and ask you stuff, about your studies and all that"

Okay seriously this guy messages me at 12:30am because his sister would find me cool? Dude get to the point.

"Okay"

Then again he goes on with the typing and deleting routine. At one point I dose off and my phone falls of from my hand causing me to wake up. I feel around my bed for my phone, only to find it tangled in between my bed sheets and blanket. How? I don't even want to know.

In my half asleep state I check my mobile. There are a few messages from Rajat.

"I will tell my sister about you the next time I go home"

"Sorry if you are getting bored. Talk to you later. Good night."

But what gets my attention is my reply which by the way, I have no memory of sending.

"😗😗😗😗"

There is no reply from him but I am sure there will be after he has seen it.

A/N: 

Jyotish = Astronormer, usually the guy who tell you your future on the basis of the placement of stars and also your sign. the one which Hindus have are the 'moon signs' as they  which are different from the zodiac signs, as you all must have noticed. I don't know what exactly is different other than the period in they are present. For example my sister's moon sign is gemini but zodiac sign is leo.If any of you all know please do shed some light on the topic. 

Rashi = zodiac sign. Eg. Saggittarius