3 am Thoughts.

Quiet

I don't talk at home unless I have to.

I don't spend time with my family unless I have to.

I don't sit in the same room with my father unless I have to.

I hate my voice sometimes. It's annoying and loud and I hate it.

I hate my voice because I'm afraid to use it.

I'm going to be judged. I'm going to be laughed at.

I'm going to be told to just shut up.

I'm sorry, dad, for commenting when it wasn't necessary. I'm sorry I've annoyed you.

I'm sorry I'm so disappointing.

I've never been the daughter you wanted. Hell, you would rather me be a boy.

I'm sorry I was fucking born.

But please stop telling me to shut up. It hurts. When I make an effort to be around you and I'm just pushed away. It makes me feel like nothing that comes out of my mouth is needed. Like I should just stop talking. Believe me, I've tried. But I can't. I'm too fucking much of a "chatter box" huh. I'm sorry I'm not the quiet, tough boy you wanted instead. But fuck you.