No To Fell Walking

Hold My Hand

"Jac?! Oh god Jac! What were you doing out of bed you numpty?" He shouted as he checked her pulse and breathing. "Can I get some help in here please? Send in a crash trolley!"
"Fletch? What are you doing here?" Abigail's voice filled the room as a team of nurses took over Jac's care.
"Not now Abi." He grumbled, distracted by his worries about Jac's safety.
"Fine but you've got some explaining to do later." She said as they hauled Jac carefully up on the bed.
"Yeah yeah fine whatever, just fix Jac please." Fletch brushed her off and followed the team as they rushed out of the room to ITU.

Around an hour or two later, after watching Jac get poked and prodded and scanned, Fletch slumped down in the chair beside her bed with a sigh. His hand found its way to her limp one which was laid with the fingers splayed out across the mattress beside her lifeless body.
"Come on Jac, keep fighting and come back to us." He whispered. A few more silent minutes with just the sound of the surgeons regular heartbeat on the monitor passed with no movement at all until he heard a spluttering and small wheezes of breath from the woman beside him. Panicking and knowing that he wasn't allowed to treat her because he wasn't on shift, Fletch slammed and held the buzzer with his free hand to call someone in to see to her.

Approximately 30 seconds later, Abigail waltzed into the room and began to remove the breathing tubes from Jac's mouth. Her pulse which had increased during her panic of waking up was now beginning to fade back into its usual rhythmic beat as she relaxed. When she was pleased that the surgeon was at ease once again, Ms Tate left the room without a word leaving Fletch to explain what had happened.
"Hey you, what were you doing out of bed earlier you numpty? Your legs couldn't hold you and you collapsed to the floor. You banged your head to make yourself unconscious and with the added support of your medication acting as an anaesthetic you were out for about an hour and a half. How are you feeling?" He explained as she gazed up into his eyes.
"I'm...sorry." She croaked, still coming round. A tear streaked its way down her pale cheeks and dripped onto the pillow.
"Hey hey don't cry. What are you sorry for? It's not your fault." He reached forward and wiped the pad of his thumb under her eyes, removing the traces of her salty tears. It was unusual for Jac to cry but he knew that she was hurting, emotionally and physically and she needed to release some of her emotions. Suddenly she smiled softly.
"Thank you." She whispered.
"For what?" He asked and squeezed her hand, suddenly remembering they were still entwined.
"Everything."

A few silent minutes later the door creaked open and Abigail stuck her head into the room.
"Fletch, can I have a word please?" She asked sweetly but Fletch knew what was coming. Jac, in sudden realisation to the situation, retracted her hand from his in a quick sharp movement and shoved it under her bed sheet in embarrassment.
"Sure." Fletch replied and got up from his chair and made his way out of the door, leaving Jac with just her thoughts. Out in the empty corridor, the Nurse stood opposite his girlfriend with a distant look covering his face.
"Fletch why are you here? I thought Ella was ill?" She questioned, but it wasn't in an accusing way surprisingly.
"I just popped in to get some paperwork to do over the weekend, Evie is with Ella." Fletch lied. "And then I found Jac unconscious." Now that last bit wasn't a lie but guilt filled his conscience. Abigail raised her eyebrow at him and placed a hand on her hip.
"Ella isn't really ill, is she?" She asked, knowing full well what the answer was going to be. Fletch looked down at his shuffling feet, knowing that his lies had been seen through and there wasn't any point in trying to deny the truth.
"No." He mumbled. "I'm sorry Abi."
"Oh Fletch why didn't you just say I'm the first place? I wouldn't have minded."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"I don't think you're ready to commit to us are you?" His silence answered for him. "Look, I think it's best if I say this now. I don't think you're ever going to be ready. I'm not the one. Am I? I get it Fletch, I understand that you can't love me with all your heart when really your heart is elsewhere."
"I don't quite understand what you're getting at."
"I saw you earlier with Jac, holding her hand desperately, comforting her whilst she cried." She explained softly.
"Of course I'm going to comfort her, she's my friend Abi." He protested.
"Mmhmm friends is all it is, is it? I think there's something more there Fletch. You just need to admit it to yourself and stop hiding behind me." He wanted to be angry with her but he knew that all she had said was the truth and she wasn't being malicious about it, she was actually supporting him.
"So is this you breaking up with me?" He asked quietly and she nodded sadly in response. "Oh right, okay."
Abi reached up on her toes and kissed his cheek and turned away to walk back down the corridor. When she was a few metres away from him she turned back to face him and called, "We can still be friends though right?"
"Of course." He smiled and reentered Jac's room.

"Hey you, what's up?" Jac asked as he walked in and saw his fallen face.
"Nothing, nothing." He tried.
"Fletch. I know you and I know that face. Now tell me." He raised an eyebrow at her as if to say "says you".
"Abi broke up with me." He sighed and plonked himself down in the chair.
"Oh..." Jac didn't know what to say for once in her sarcastic life.
"She was right in what she said though." He sighed again.
"What was that?"
"I'm not ready to commit and I never will be."
Because I love you, he thought sadly.