Be Rude but Love Me | ✔

CHAPTER 45

"I'm not tiny," she scoffs with a frown. "I'm a big girl."

Next to me, Oliver laughs and agrees with my little sister to placate her. "Tracy's wrong, Lu. You are a very, very big girl," he says and she smiles brightly at him.

I roll my eyes at him, knowing he has a soft spot for Lucy. She could ask him the moon and he'd go there and bring it back to her.

"Thanks, Ollie," she says.

Soon, our Thanksgiving dinner begins and chatter fills the dining room as we pass dishes around the table. Like every year, my heart swells at the sight of Ollie here with us, an added member of the family for five years now. No, a member of the family, period. He belongs there, with us, like a son to my parents and like a brother to Lucy and me. I wouldn't have it any other way.

He starts talking about his first year of pursuing a master's degree and we all listen, rapt, as he talks about what can be done with artificial intelligence. His eyes are alight with excitement, so different from the dull and lifeless ones that stared back at me that day I bumped into him. His back is no longer hunched like he's bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders and now he's got a more stately demeanor. Yes, he's a different person, a happier person. He just needed a family.

"So," Ollie says once he's done talking about computer science and other things related, "you're gonna apply for internships this year?" He asks me.

I nod, happy as I think of the places I've selected for my internship. "Yes, figured it would look good on my résumé," I say. "Plus, I'm saving to try and see if Ellie and I can afford a place next year."

Ollie smiles, obviously proud of me. "That's great. You're looking for one in NYC or out of the city as well?"

"Mostly in the city, I don't feel like taking the train or anything. It's tiring."

"I thought we could go back to Harlem next year."

My head snaps at Lucy who's pouting before me, a pleading look on her face upon hearing my plans. As I look at her, I want to promise her we can go. It's the first thought that crosses my mind. Of course we can go. That's because no matter how annoying she can be, I'd do anything to put a smile on Lu's face, to see her happy. But Harlem is full of ghosts to me. Or rather, of a ghost. I can't go back there, can't bear to be reminded of it all.

My dad – along with Ollie – notices my hesitation and he replies to Lucy for me, "Not next year," he says soothingly. "You heard your sister has an internship."

Lucy keeps pouting, obviously disappointed. She pokes her food around listlessly on her plate and remains quiet for a moment before our dad cheers her back up with the promise of pizza every week until the end of the year. It's not much – there's only a few weeks left – but it's enough to Lucy. She soon turns into a radio as she talks nonstop about the different pizza she'll have every week and I'm relieved to see that her cheerfulness is back.

After dinner, my family congregates in front of the TV but I have an inexplicable headache and all I want to do is go lie down. Climbing up the stairs, I pass my bedroom – which is always Ollie's for the holidays – and go to Lucy's room which I share with her meanwhile. Gracelessly, I let myself fall on the bed and pull the covers over me.

I take my phone and think of calling either Ellie or Will but they must be enjoying Thanksgiving with their families now so I only leave them a message, asking them how the holidays are going so far. I put the phone on the bedside table and close my eyes, desperate for sleep to claim me.

However, my head hasn't been on the pillow for five seconds that the door to the room opens. Soft footsteps echo behind me and I can picture Lucy standing in the middle of the doorway, about to throw her heavy self on me.