TEARS FROM THE MOON

Chapter 28.

"As you can see".  I said, now also leaning in to him,  "I have a visitor". 

A certain amount of smugness had now come over me, as I watched her mouth drop open. She probably found it very hard to understand why such a  good looking guy, such as Ashcroft was visiting me!

"So I won't be going on set today, nor for the foreseeable future".  I continued.

Maddie glared at me.

"Well David's not going to be very happy".  She went on.

I shrugged my shoulders at her.

"I couldn't really care".  I said, although that wasn't strictly true.

I liked David McIntyre, I really did and the thought of him being annoyed with me was quite upsetting.
I bowed my head down.

" Well, I wished you'd make up your bloody mind what you are doing! All this coming and going. The place doesn't revolve around you, you know!".  She snapped.  "And to be honest, I happen to think that it's just plain rude to expect someone like Jeremiah Johnston to hang around waiting for you!  I mean, just who do you think you are anyway ? ". 

I gave an inward sigh.
For she had no idea what I was actually going through or of my decision to quit the film industry. I wasn't about to tell her either, for it would be around here like wildfire if I even suggested it!
At least she would be happy when I left. She'd always wanted to play the part of Christina and gave me the distinct impression that she didn't think I was up to it anyway.
With me gone, she would be able to jump right into my shoes and wouldn't think twice about doing it either!
She would be glad that I was gone. Nothing was so surer.
But I had tried. Given it my best shot, but in all honestly I now knew that I  wasn't really cut out for all of this, especially having to do all the things that I was required to do as the story of Christina and Jonathan's  relationship unfolded.
According to the script, there was going to be no holding back and although Christina was meant to be nieve and very innocent in the beginning, there was no telling that we were to do those scenes first, for she was to become, very quickly I may add, sexually experienced relatively soon and take the lead in many of the scenes as her love and desire for her much older lover progressed.

My stomach twisted at the very thought.
I would have been as nervous as hell doing those type of scenes with Alan Rickman but I would have really enjoyed them too!
That was until just a few moments ago when he came out with that soul destroying revelation.
I suppose I should have been grateful that we hadn't done any of those sexual scenes together, even though we had passionately kissed one another.
The trouble was it had obviously meant more to me than it ever did to him, because even knowing the fact that I was his daughter, he had just put on his acting hat and did it anyway!
That was probably the reason why he had so desperately wanted that drink with me last night, so that he could tell me before we started filming anything even more sexual.
Of course when it didn't materialise, he had gone and seeked me out this morning, but then I promptly walked out on him. Funnily enough, when he refused to answer the question I asked about him about being a Father! Of course, unbeknown to me, l had  given him the perfect platform to state his case!
So when I walked away from him, he then came to my trailer looking for me!
It all just simply had to add up.

He just didn't want to appear to be the bad guy in front of everyone by refusing to do those scenes with me. He must have been pretty confident that I would just walk away when I realised the truth about our relationship.
Which of course is exactly what I was prepared to do.
He was extremely acute when it came to human ideals and he maybe knew that I would just go away quietly.

I felt the strangling sensation rise up in my throat once again and hadn't really noticed that Maddie was still here with Ashcroft and I,  just staring at us as I was deep in thought about things.