Chapter 36

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I walked into the hotel room and sat on the couch. I slipped off my shoes and took my hair out of the ponytail. My mom crashed next to me and yawned.

"Alright, before you go to bed, tell me about your day." She said laying her head back.

"Mom, you were with me like all day." I laughed.

"No I know, I just want to know how you're feeling, and what you need from me." She stroked my hair.

"I'm a little bit scared for the emotion part in my solo, and just stressed about the trio because Asia just isn't getting it. Honestly, I don't need you to do anything other than be there for me, which you've been doing a great job of." I hugged her.

"That, I can do." She kissed my hair. "Go get some sleep, I love you."

The next morning, I slowly opened my eyes and got ready. I could hear my mom showering in her bathroom, and realized she was running behind schedule. I quickly woke up after taking a cold shower, and got dressed. I walked into the main room to see my mom making coffee.

"Morning." I yawned, grabbing a water from the fridge. She gave me a smile as she took a sip from her mug. "Are we gonna call dad?" I asked her, looking at the closed laptop.

"Not today, they're on their way to the airport." She said grabbing her purse. I grabbed my dance bag and we headed to the studio.

In my evening solo rehearsal, I was having such a hard time emoting, and I didn't know why. Ricky stopped my music and put his head in his hands. I took some deep breaths and wiped the sweat off my forehead. He motioned for me to sit next to him and plopped down on the floor next to his laptop

"What's up with you tonight?" He asked me and I shrugged as I leaned back against the wall.

"I don't know. I just don't know what to show because I don't know what it makes me feel I guess?" I pushed some hair out of my face. We sat in silence for a minute and he rewound the track.

"Listen to the words. Don't dance, don't mark it in your head, just listen to the words." Ricky played the song. "What stuck with you?" He asked me once the song finished.

"It's never goodbye, always see you later." I recited from the song.

"Dig deeper into the song, not just the title."

I closed my eyes and thought about it. I thought about when Zack got eliminated, "I've been singing in the rain, and belting out the pain, my teardrop following on the way." I thought about the opportunity to study at Joffrey for four years, "You live in the evergreens of my future." I thought about having to leave everyone for four years if I win, "The weather, the ocean, test my devotion, I could not forget you if I tried. It's never goodbye, always see you later." I opened my eyes to find a content and quiet Ricky. "What?" I asked confused.

"You obviously know what the song is about, you know how it makes you feel, you've found your three emotions. Show me them." He mentored, putting a hand on my shoulder. I stood up and shook out some nerves. He played my music and I danced again. I tried to think about every moment of this competition and everything it's put me through. "It's getting there. It really is, you've just put up these walls and you're scared to show us who you are." He explained at the end of my rehearsal. I nodded and looked down at my feet. "It's okay. You're thirteen, you've been put on National TV in a competition to help your dance career, but you're constantly being bashed on by adults for the sake of an episode. It's okay to want to keep some things to yourself, but somethings are going to help you succeed." He closed his laptop, and slipped it into his bag. "Go to your trio rehearsal, focus on that for awhile. See if you can pull anything from that. We'll revisit this tomorrow. Don't forget how talented you are. Don't let this set you back." Ricky walked out of the rehearsal room and I yanked my bag off the floor.

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