Jungkook's P.O.V.
There was a certain feeling of emptiness inside of me once again. It was a feeling that would come and go, always leaving behind the mess that was me. It was rare for me to experience happiness in my state; my anxiety prevented that entirely. I'd be lucky to have one day without thinking about ending it all.
Today, I decided to spend the day at the beach. I had always found peace outdoors, even though it was only a temporary feeling. The fresh air always cleared my mind, but it'd barely last before my mind flooded with overwhelming thoughts.
I didn't feel the need to rush things since I'd end up in the same state of numbness that I am in at the current moment. Time seemed to pass by at a slower pace as I got dressed in swim trunks and a shirt to keep it simple.
What I would do at the beach is still to he decided, but for now I'd say to just take a dip in the ocean. Maybe I'll look for some seashells or some crabs. I'll make up my mind when I get there.
At the Beach...
Warm rays of sunlight shone upon me and the scenery before my eyes. Gentle waves crashed onto the sand, the distant laughter of children was heard, and there was a sense of relaxation in the atmosphere. It calmed me down, which felt nice.
As soon as I set my things down on top of a beach towel, the water became my next destination. The fresh scent of the ocean spray, along with the coolness of the water itself called out to me. I couldn't resist and jumped right in.
The water engulfed my body like a blanket that was being wrapped around me. I liked the feeling; it was different from the usual thoughts of unending darkness that clouded my mind.
While I thought about it more, negativity and anxiety took over my body like a large wave crashing onto the sandy shores. My heart pounded against my chest as I let myself sink. The water was shallow, but I lay underneath the cerulean blanket in hopes of blocking out the terrible thoughts my mind wanted to show me.
Minutes passed by like centuries, but then I heard it. The sound of a whistle being blown in the distance. It's continuous noise causing a ringing sensation in my ears. My chest tightened, muscles strained, it felt like I was drowning. What I didn't realize was that I was drowning, and I was choosing to do so in order to get rid of the overwhelming waves of negativity.
Everything started to burn. The lack of oxygen soon taking a toll. I desperately wanted to resurface and gasp for air, but at the same time, I wanted to finally get rid of the problematic thoughts that haunted me on a daily basis. A grin flashed on my lips when the realization dawned on me that I was drowning and coming close to the end. Then, black.
My body started to shut down. Limbs felt numb and water began to fill up my lungs as I saw the end come closer. It was barely an arm's length away when I felt something pulling on me. There was something keeping me from reaching the end. Something preventing me from this attempted suicide. Something saving me.
My end was soon out of my reach as I was pulled back into reality. I was unconscious, but even so, I felt hands on my chest pushing down, indistinct voices from all sides, but what felt the most foreign was the pair of lips that were connected with mine, pumping oxygen into my body.
"Stay with me!"
Why? I wanted to leave. It was so close that I could almost grab it, but now I was being dragged back to the world I was trying to abandon.
