Tempting Fate

Chapter 4

"Say goodbye to the old street that never
cared much for you anyway
And the different colored doorways you
thought would let you in one day
Goodbye to the old bus stop frozen and waiting
The weekend edition has this town overrated.
You walk across the baseball green
The grass has turned to straw
A flock of birds tries to fly away from where
you are
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye old friend
I can't make you stay
I can't spend another ten years wishing you
would anyway
How the sky turns to fire
Against the telephone wire
And even I'm getting tired of useless
desires…"

The words flowed through lauren like a raging
flood of emotions. She knew camila was trying
to tell her something. She knew how much camila hated it when lauren left. She knew camila was hurting because of that, but she didn't
realize how much until now. Even though every fiber in her being wanted to look away from camila , she couldn't. Camila wouldn't let her.
Lauren just sat there, feeling powerless over
Camila's magnetism and control. Lauren felt the tears welling up in her eyes as camila continued
singing.

"Everyday I take a bitter pill
It gets me on my way
For the little aches and pains
The ones I have from day to day
To help me think a little less about the things I
miss
To help me not to wonder how I ended up like
this
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye old friend
You wanted to be free
And somewhere beyond the bitter end is where
I wanna be
How the sky turns to fire
Against the telephone wire
And even I'm getting tired of useless
desires..."

Camila gripped her guitar tightly as she sang.
Initially, she had no intention of even singing this song tonight, but for some reason seeing lauren made her realize how badly she ached
for her. How badly she missed her. How badly she needed her. How badly she didn't want to see her walk out of her life yet again. She
couldn't explain it. She didn't know why lauren invaded her thoughts so much. She just knew, like she knew back in high school, that she
couldn't be without lauren. And she was tired of
having to constantly say goodbye. She didn't understand why it broke her heart so much,
but it did. She used to think that the longer lauren was away, the easier it would be, but she
was very mistaken. She had asked lauren to stay
several times and didn't understand why lauren always chose to leave. But now, maybe with
these words, she could get her point across.
She didn't want lauren to leave again. Their friendship was too strong of a bond to be ripped apart yet again. Camila's heart began to
shatter a little bit when she saw lauren begin to cry. She wanted to cry too, but manage to fight
back the tears in order to get through the rest
of the song.

"Say goodbye to the old building that never
tried to know your name
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye old friend
Guess you won't be seeing me again
How the sky turns to fire
Against the telephone wire
It burns the last of the day down
And I'm the last one hanging around
Waiting for you on the train tracks
But the train never comes back
And even I'm getting tired of useless desires."

Once the song was over and camila received her
accolades from the spectators, she tentatively
walked off the stage towards lauren As she saw camila walking over toward her, lauren sat up
straight and tried to wipe away any stray tears
she had. The girls greeted each other with a
hug. It was gentle and sweet, yet there was a sense of longing behind it and both girls had difficulty letting go.
Lauren took this opportunity to whisper to the
younger girl. "You were so incredible. You just blew me away. Along with everyone else."
Camila didn't care about the praise or what anyone else thought of the performance. All
she whispered to lauren in return was, "I missed you." Lauren slowly pulled back from their embrace.
"I missed you, too."
The two girls stood there mesmerized with each other.
Lauren desperately searched camila's eyes for any sign of what she may be feeling. Camila sat on the stool next to lauren. After singing
that song, she knew there would be some awkwardness between them, but she tried to avoid it at all costs.
"So how was Montana?"
"Oh. Well, it was nice. Very peaceful. I think I might actually go back there one of these days. And I hardly ever return to the scene of the crime, so that's how you know it's a truly
remarkable place."
"Really. So you're finally thinking of settling down in one place, huh?"
Lauren shrugged. She honestly didn't know what to say to that. But Montana is not what she
wanted to talk about at the moment, and they both knew it.
"So, that song," began lauren.
"Yeah?"
"That was really beautiful. I mean…it really spoke to me. It affected me," admitted lauren.
"It was supposed to." Camila kept her gaze on her friend.
"You had me in tears."
"I can tell," replied camila as she reached up and wiped a tear away from lauren's cheek. "I'm
sorry it made you cry. I just…I hate it when you leave."
"I know."
"So then why do you always run off?" asked camila. "I want you around. I want to be around
you. Constantly. I just feel so empty without you. It's like my life is divided into two things:
seeing you. And counting the days until I can see you again. And I know that sounds strange,
but I can't really put it any other way. I just miss my friend. Why don't you want to be around me?"
Lauren was completely taken aback by camila's honesty. She wasn't prepared for them to come to blows about this so soon, but camila's
truthfulness just seemed to erupt out of nowhere. "I do want to be around you."
"Then move back to Evanston. Things just seem to be better when you're around. For some reason, my life just makes sense with you
in it. Stay here. You've done enough traveling," pleaded camila.
"It's not the lure of traveling that takes me away," admitted lauren.
"Then what is it?"
Lauren thought for a moment. 'You,' she thought.
'You're the reason.' But was she really ready to divulge everything at this moment? No. Now
was not the time. She needed an out, so she changed the subject. "Why didn't you ever
leave? Go somewhere else?"
"What do you mean?" asked Camila
"I thought you wanted to travel, too. I mean, what happened to your plans of living on a ranch?"
Camila was speechless. "Well…what about you?
I don't see you living in a loft in London."
"I did! For a year. You know that. I wanted you to come visit me, but you never did. And I kept
waiting for an invitation to your ranch, but never got one. Because you never left Evanston."
"I have a life here," insisted camila
Lauren took camila's hand in hers. "What life,camz?  You should be out on the road playing
your music. Doing what makes YOU happy. Not living with some guy who clearly takes you for
granted and treats you like you don't matter."
Camila tried to pull her hand away, but lauren wouldn't let her. She gripped tighter andooked directly at camila.
"I'm sorry. I know that wasn't a nice thing to
say and it hurts to hear it, but it's the truth.
It's time you recognize that. He ignores you. He
didn't even show up tonight! I see the look of
disappointment on your face and I could kill
him for that reason alone. You don't deserve to
be treated like that, camz."
At this point, camila was the one who had tears
in her eyes. She looked around and noticed that
the place had pretty much cleared out, with the exception of a couple people. She looked
back at lauren,  whose eyes were provocatively
burning into her. She drew closer and closer to Lauren, completely spellbound by her intense
gaze. She was inches away from lauren's face
and with tears in her eyes, whispered to her. "I don't think I'm in love with him anymore."
Camila's voice wavered as those words rolled off her tongue.
Lauren didn't know what to do or say. She simply nodded, letting her friend know that she was there and she understood. Camila needed to be
closer to her friend. Their hands clasped together was simply not enough, though she
could feel the extreme heated energy that passed between them. Camila was now centimeters away from lauren's face as she
whispered to her once more.
"Why can't I stop thinking about you?"
Lauren was frozen. She honestly believed at that
moment her heart literally stopped. She could
feel her breath growing shorter and shorter the closer camila came. She could hear camila's breath grow smaller and sharper as she gripped lauren's hand tighter. Camila stayed
there, so close to lauren, their lips were just barely grazing each other, but not enough for
either girl to feel it. As lauren tried to steady her breath, she attempted to gain the courage
she needed to just meet camila the rest of the way. She just needed the strength to lean
forward ever so slightly. But somehow, lauren was immobile. Perhaps the shock of this
situation being all too real, instead of one of the many fantasies she had played out in her
head throughout the yearss. Both girls stayed in this position until camila realized what was happening. She began to speak and as her lips
moved, lauren could faintly feel them against her lips.
"I should get home. It's getting late." Camila slowly pulled back, but didn't let go of lauren's hand right away. She looked down at their
hands touching and looked back at the older girl. There was a rawness in camila's eyes that lauren had never seen before. Camila opened her
mouth to say something. But nothing came out.
She slowly let go of lauren's hand.
"So, I'll call you. Okay?"
Lauren nodded.
"Thanks for coming to this. It really meant a lot. So, I'll see you soon, right?" asked Camila.
Again, all lauren could do was nod.