These Stars Will Guide us Home

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The first time Feyre winnowed out of the Spring Court, onto that patch of unclaimed territory, she had held her breath the entire time, terrified soon she would be found, Tamlin would know she had gone and find more conventional ways to keep her locked up in Spring… When she’d winnowed back into her room and headed downstairs to find that Tamlin hadn’t had the slightest idea, she was so tempted to winnow herself home to Velaris, to leave Spring forever, she nearly cried. She knew she couldn’t though, she had a job to do here and her duty wasn’t finished yet, so she stayed, despite all urges calling her home.

But tonight was Starfall… and Feyre had a plan.

“Are you sure you’re not coming?” Mor asked softly, her hand resting gently on his shoulder, feeling the soft material of his dark tunic as she looked at the empty expression that had populated his face more and more these past weeks. Rhysand shook his head almost unperceivably, staring straight ahead out of the large open windows of his room, looking over his city below as it was preparing for the night’s festivities. “Are you sure? A distraction might be good; you’ve already spent so many Starfalls alone…”
“Mor please…” Rhys said, quietly but firmly, “I just… I don’t feel like celebrating tonight. You go, I know Cassian and Azriel are waiting for you… enjoy your night for me”
Mor smiled at him sadly and nodded, knowing she would get nowhere trying to persuade him. She gave his shoulder a small squeeze and quietly murmured “She’s looking up Rhys, looking at the same stars as you. You’ll be together again soon I promise, and then you can have an eternity of Starfalls together. I’m sure of it.” Rhys turned his head at that and looked at his cousin with the feeling of tears burning in his eyes and softly thanked her, before watching as she turned and left, heading down to the party below, leaving the High Lord alone once again.

After a while, Rhys stepped out onto his private balcony, the one he’d shared with Feyre this very night a year ago, watching as the spirits shot by, where Feyre painted again, her smile so beaming and huge… He could remember it all so clearly as the crowds below began to hush, waiting in preparation for that first star to glide across the sky. He hoped somewhere deep inside him that Feyre was watching the skies tonight as Mor had said, that Tamlin didn’t have her locked up somewhere, keeping her occupied tonight so she could not dream of being back home. He looked up just as one single point of light flew across the blanket of darkness above him, hearing his people below cheering. And then, close enough to feel her breath on the back of his neck he heard a familiar voice whisper…

“Just as breathtaking as I remembered”

She’d made sure everything was in order. Luckily, Tamlin was away for a few days, his ‘business’ trips becoming more and more frequent recently which had worried her, but for tonight it was a blessing. Lucien already had a feeling what would be happening tonight. He knew how special this day was for the Night Court, and that Feyre would do anything to be with her Mate, even just for a moment. The house was almost empty, save for a few servants who Feyre had been sure to manipulate so they would have no memory of her vanishing for a few hours. She’d glamoured her clothes so they no longer looked like the airy, floating dresses she’d been wearing in the Spring Court but a dark gown, shimmering like night, almost fluid against her skin. She’d waited as long as she could manage, the sky dark outside her window before she closed her eyes, saying a silent prayer, never having attempted to winnow this far… and then she was home. 

She opened her eyes and there she was, standing inside her and Rhys’s room, the bed perfectly made as if it hadn’t been slept in all these months. As she scanned the room she saw the doors to the balcony open, the curtains billowing slightly in the soft, balmy breeze and heard below the sounds of the city start to hush, the lights dimming and felt as if the whole of Velaris was holding its breath. As light as air, as if she was being pulled along by an invisible thread, she walked to the door and just stood for a moment, taking in the sight of her Mate before her, standing tall and proud as always, but she could feel it in him: The emptiness, the loss and the heartbreak. Just as she was about to collapse to her knees at the feeling of being so close to him, the first star flew across the sky, lighting up the emptiness with hope and beauty, and as the crowds below cheered she took a few steps out onto the balcony until she was mere inches behind him. She knew he could sense her there, but he didn’t turn, and she could hear through the bond that he wouldn’t let himself believe, convinced he’d finally lost his mind, that he’d started hallucinating her. She smiled sadly, letting out a shaky breath before whispering “Just as breathtaking as I remembered”

The sound of her voice alone was almost enough to break him, it taking all of his power and strength not to fall to his knees before her and weep like a child. He turned slowly, as if he was worried him moving too fast would cause her to vanish. Her eyes met his and they were sparkling, both with tears and starlight. He opened his mouth and hoarsely said “Are you talking about me or the stars” but his mind only whispered Feyre over and over down the bond. The smile that bloomed on her face ruined him. It soon had that beautiful edge of a smirk to it as she quietly said “The stars… although you scrub up pretty well” and he felt his heart swell as a smile broke across his face, the first real one for months. They just stood taking each other in for a few moments whilst lights continued to streak across the sky. Rhys broke the silence eventually with a single word, whispering “how?”. Feyre sent all he needed to know down the bond, they’d always found it faster and more efficient than speaking aloud, telling him of her winnowing practice, how she’d managed to sneak out, how she couldn’t stand the idea of him spending another Starfall alone.

He reached out a hand to her, wanting to touch her and make sure she was real, not some cruel trick his mind was playing on him, but he hesitated when he thought of Tamlin noticing his scent on her. One touch won’t hurt she whispered down to bond to him and stepped closer so he could reach out and stroke his fingers down her cheek, feeling her soft skin, the tears that had fallen across it silently. He choked down a sob that was building in his chest, knowing that if he let himself come undone he would never be able to put the pieces back together again. He had to be strong for her. He let his fingers trail down the side of her jaw, her neck and collarbone until he took a lock of her hair between his fingers and ran them down it gently. The entire time his mind was whispering Feyre, my Feyre. She closed her eyes and held her breath, wanting nothing more than to throw herself into his arms, to breath him in and feel those strong wings cocooning her, hiding them from the world. It was agony being this close him and not being able to touch him how she wanted, but it was the most wonderful torture. He reached his other hand out and lay it gently on her waist, his fingers feeling the warmth of her skin through her dress, his hands almost shaking as he resisted the urge to pull her to him and make up for all those months of lost time. Her hand delicately resting against his chest, the other reaching up to tenderly cup his cheek almost broke his self-control, but he knew, they both knew, that the consequences would be disastrous, even if the reunion would be heavenly. So for now, this would have to be enough.

They stood like this for however long, Rhys’s fingers running up and down the piece of her hair he held as they silently told each other everything from the few months since that meeting at the border; information about the upcoming war, the happenings in Velaris as they worked to rebuild, that their Inner Circle were well, that Feyre’s sisters were coping, that they were close to breaking without each other, that their love was all consuming. The words tumbled easily down the bond as they stood close, otherwise in complete silence. Just the feeling of being near to one another was enough to soothe their souls. It was only when the final star had made its journey across the sky that Feyre blinked back her tears, looking up into her Mate’s eyes as she quietly said “I have to go… I can’t risk him finding out I’ve been here” her voice sounding so small and lonely in the darkness. Rhys nodded and gave her hair one last stroke before he let her go. She opened her mouth to say goodbye but Rhys’s voice in her head stopped her. It’s not goodbye my darling Feyre… I promise it’s not goodbye. She smiled sadly again as she stepped back from him, slowly walking backwards into their room and just before she winnowed away from the place her heart would always be she whispered down that bond to him, a determined edge to her voice I’ll see you again soon my love… I just need to take down these bastards first. Rhys laughed, the sound echoing through their room, a sound that hadn’t graced this house for months, and just before she slipped away she heard him whispers with a smile in his voice “That’s my Feyre…”

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