Alison POV (Still flahsback)
I wrote it a couple months ago. Today it is currently 14-11-2014. I still don’t understand how I survived. I sighed and started to write, for the last time probably.
14-11-2014 11:15 ( I obviously haven’t actually wrote this in my jounal)
The last time.
That’s what I am thinking almost every time I do something. It is true. I did eat breakfast for the last time. I was home for the last time, I was in Holland for the last time. I am writing for the last time, probably. And I am totally fine with it. I don’t have any regrets. None.
Everything is going as planned. I am currently in England, in the train on my way to London. I don’t know if I’ll stay in London. Probably not, I will just travel for the whole day, just sit and look out of the window, listening to some music.
I can’t wait until I am dead. Until I feel myself slip away. I am longing to that moment. When I know I will be dead in a second. God, I can’t wait.
I am so ready. I couldn’t have chosen another day, I shouldn’t have waited longer. I shouldn’t have done it earlier. I feel like it is the perfect day. I think it is the perfect day to die.
*flashback ends*
I am pulled back to reality when I feel someone tab me on my shoulder, carefully. I slowly turn around. The first thing I see, blue eyes. Even though it is quite dark, probably because of the moonlight I was able to see that they are blue. It was a guy, "You alright?" he said in a quiet thick scots accent.
Scots? Ohh yeah I was in Scotland, the guy has something familiar, but I don’t know why. He raised one of his brown eyebrows. I realised I hadn’t answered him ; "Y-yess, yes I am alright" as I said it I felt my cheeks were wet. Had I’ve been crying?
I think anyone could see he didn’t believe me one bit. With my sleeves I swept my tears away. "Well I am sorry to say but, you don’t look alright" he said I liked his voice, it calmed me down. I laughed a little "Thanks.. but, I am okay, I’ll just go home now, thanks for asking tho.." I know I lied, I don’t have any clue where I exactly am. He still looked doubtful, but what could he do? "Okay.. well get home save?" I wondered why he even cared, but I smiled weakly and mumbled a ‘thank you’ and you too’.
I was still waiting until he would walk away, but he didn’t. So I decided to walk to the direction where the many light came from, probably a big town. I’ll just have to walk back then. I looked behind me, I saw that the guy walked further but he looked behind him too. Probably still wondering why a girl was standing on a bridge, crying, who didn’t had a British or scottish accent. But why would I care? I looked ahead of me again and took a deep breath. I walked for a good ten minutes, then I turned around and started to walk back to the bridge.
There was no one. I luckily didn’t saw the guy anywhere. I laid my bag on the ground. I knelt down and opened my bag. The little knife reflected in the moonlight. I felt tingles through my fingers. I zip my bag closed. And throw it back over my shoulders. I walked to the edge of the bridge.
