Gotta Be You (Larry Stylinson Fan Fiction) [Temporary Hiatus]

Louis P.O.V. Feelings and Heartbreak

Next chapter is up, enjoy it, yeah? :D This is dedicated to @SeductiveUnicorn because she offered me cookies last chapter. :D

~The Rademance Girls

~Louis~

I knew I had loved him from the moment we met, it was love at first sight I guess you could say. We clicked, and I thought that the way he looked at me could possibly mean that he felt the same. I, however, had been hurt to many times in the past to let myself hope, so I just tried to push the feelings away.

I tried to ignore the flutter in my stomach every time he looked at me, or the increase of my heart beat when he came close to me. The stutter I would sometimes get in my voice when he gave me a cheeky smile, or started flirting with me. Sure it may have been obvious to those looking in on us, but we were both as oblivious as anyone can be.

I found myself drawn more to love songs, like Lady Antebellum's "Just a Kiss". Or “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls. They seemed to describe my feelings so well. I had to hide what I felt to avoid scrutiny, and judgment. Yes, I will admit, I was bisexual from the beginning, it was something I chose to be. I was attracted by both genders, sure some might say if I chose this then I could choose to go back to being straight. Well that’s just not how it works, once you start having those thoughts about that certain gender, you never truly go back to being straight. You will always have those thoughts, you will always notice those little things about them. You just learn to stop acting on them, I stopped acting on the things I noticed.

For example, I noticed the way the boys I had been put into a band with were all attractive, Zayn had these brown eyes that seemed to just reach out and grab you. Liam had this calm confidence about him that I’ll admit fit the carefree attitude the rest of us sort of adopted. Niall was insecure but in all honesty the boy was hot, he always managed to make people smile. Finally, Harry, his green eyes were captivating I could lose myself in them, his lips were just so perfectly shaped, his smile, oh gosh, his smile, that was the thing I fell hardest for. It was beautiful the way it just brightened his whole face, his voice was the most angelic thing I had ever heard.

I noticed these things, I just didn’t act on the things I was feeling for him, I stayed in the background as he brought home numerous women. I never once made a sound, I would just silently leave the house and take a walk. Drown in my sorrows and never make a move to change any of it. I always stayed quiet, maybe if I had made a move things would have been different. Who knows?

“Lou, what are you thinking so hard about?” Harry’s voice brought me out of my thoughts.

“How did you know I was thinking?” I asked.

“Your eyebrows get closer together and your bottom lip goes into a pout.” He responded furrowing his eyebrows.

“I was just remembering the days back on the X-factor,” I stated laying my head back on the couch.

“Well, I want you to listen to me sing something, because I really like this song. I want to know what you think of it.” He said pouting out his bottom lip slightly and making his eye get bigger.

I simply waved at him to show I was listening, I could never resist that face of his. His grin got really big and he clapped his hands jumping up and down for a moment before collecting himself and clearing his throat.

“And I’d give up forever to touch you,
Cause I know that you feel me somehow,
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be,
And I don’t wanna go home right now.

And all I can taste is this moment,
And all I can breathe is your life,
Sooner or later it’s over,
I just don’t wanna miss you tonight.”

Call me crazy but it felt like he was singing it to me, the way his eyes went from mine to fluttering closed before opening back up and looking at me again.

“And I don’t want the world to see me,
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand,
When everything’s meant to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.”

I want you to know, Harry, that I love you, that I want us to be real, that everything I say I want is really you. Everyone else sees it, everyone but you, you’re the only one who truly needs to know, but you never will. I’ll only ever be seen as your best mate.

“And you can’t fight the change that ain't comin’,
Oh, the moment, the truth in your lies,
When everything feels like the movies,
Yeah, you bleed just to know you’re alive.”

I bleed but you’ll never see it, my heart bleeds with the pain that keeping this in causes. You will never see how much pain I am always in. How much I hold back from you, when we aren’t supposed to hide anything from eachother.

“And I don’t want the world to see me,
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand,
When everything’s meant to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.” His voice hit that high note perfectly, I smiled at him, causing him to smile back, and chuckle a little, finishing the song.

“That was beautiful Harry,” I smiled clapping loudly, he beamed and threw himself into my arms.

Hugging me tightly as I hugged back never wanting to let him go. I wish we could stay this way forever. The two of us alone wrapped in eachothers arms.

The front door opened and Liam came in announcing that we had an interview we need to be at. So extracting myself from Harry, I stood and held my hand out for him, which he took and walked out to the car with Liam following behind.

~Halfway through the interview~


“So, Louis, tell us all about it,” Jamara said.

“Tell you about what, exactly?” I smiled slightly at her.

“Larry Stylinson,” was her answer.

I let out a chuckle and felt Harry do the same from his spot next to me, I looked over at him. His bright green eyes shown with amusement, I put my arm around his shoulder and felt him lean into me slightly. Before looking back at her and asking, “What exactly about Larry would you like to know?”

“Anything, is it real? Is it just a strong bromance? You in a previous interview said you have, uhm,” she seemed to glare off stage for a moment before the smile was back in place, “Have intercourse every night, how is that?”

“Of course it’s real, it’s the strongest bromance you will ever know, as for the intercourse,” I answered and then looked at Harry, raising an eyebrow, he smirked, “It’s the best anyone could ask for, afterwards he really likes to cuddle.”

There was a collection of ‘awws’ from the crowd, they all thought we were just acting, which is exactly what one of us was doing, it just wasn’t me. Jamara seemed to be hiding a smirk. “Harry, we heard you are currently in a relationship?” It came out as a question.

“Aww, yes Harry, do tell about this relationship.” Niall smirked at Harry who seemed to shoot daggers straight back at him, his smile never faltering.

“Anna?” he put his hand on my knee, it always seemed to comfort him, being close to me, “I have not got the okay to say what our relationship is, or isn’t yet.”

“Really?” She seemed surprised slightly.

I chuckled and muttered loud enough for my mic to catch, “Whipped,” and wiggled my eyebrows at Harry when he glared at me and his hand clenched on my knee, causing me to smirk at him.

“I am not, I just respect her decision to have a public relationship when she is ready.”

“The perfect gentlemen I am sure, well folks that’s all the time we have for One Direction today.” She gave a little sad face at that, “Join us after the commercial for an interview with the new female hit Kara.” She smiled and then she turned to us.

I smiled at her as we stood and started off stage, she followed. We came down the steps off of the stage and continued to the break room where she again followed us.

“That was great boys, thank you so much,” she smiled seeming genuinely happy with her place as an interviewer person.

Then again it could all be fake, like the fact that I always act happy when really on the inside I die everytime he gets a new girlfriend.

“You are very welcome, love,” Niall said in his, very Irish, accent.

She smiled before cocking her head slightly and then grimacing and saying “Well, I’m about to go on, thank you for coming in today, you made my day better,” she then smiled at us and walked away.

“I like her,” I muttered, “in a total friend like way,” I added on seeing the look Harry gave me.

“Come on boys, cars here,” Paul said behind us.

“Coming,” we all simultaneously called, we had all been able to master that, talking simultaneously.

As we all piled into the van, Harry and I sat in the back as usual, while Niall and Liam sat in the center seat, Zayn in the front passenger seat, and Paul drove. We arrived at the Larry flat, as we called it, it was the flat that Harry and I shared, if you hadn’t caught that. We walked into the flat and I hung up my jacket as Harry went into the living room and collapsed like a starfish on the floor. I stared at his position, and had to hold myself back from going and collapsing on top of him. Instead, I simply walked into the kitchen to make our lunch.

“Lou,” Harry’s voice called out to me. I walked back into the doorway of the living room.

“Yeah, Harry?”

“‘mere,” he said gesturing at me to go lay next to him.

I did as he asked simply because I hadn’t started making our sandwiches yet, and I simply couldn’t say no to the boy. I went to lay next to him but he instead pulled me on top of him, so we were laying with our chests pressed together, me slightly off of him because I had caught myself and made sure I was propped up on my hands above him. Our faces were literally centimeters apart, my breath hitched in my throat.

“Hmmm...” he mumbled and looked up at me with a raised eyebrow, “I think someone is a little turned on being in close proximity to my sexyness,” he then chuckled as my cheeks flushed as deep a red as a juicy tomato.

I tried to pull back but just wrapped his arms around my waist, effectively trapping me on top of him, with, a, ehem, very happy friend in my lower regions.

“I can help you with that ya’ know,” he stated letting his fingers slip to the inside of my Calvin Kleins. I gulped, staring at him, not trusting my voice, especially since our faces were still mere centimeters apart, I could feel his breath on my lips.

Finally finding my voice I spoke in a very shaky voice, “Harry-,” but my sentence was cut off with a knock on the door. He groaned and let go of me as I practically bolted to the door, throwing it open.

“I’m hungry,” Niall groaned and leaned against doorway, the other boys not too far behind him.

Liam looked at me apologetic, Zayn looked amused, and I simply opened the door wider and allowed them all in while heading back to the kitchen refusing to look back into the living room.

I pulled out the bread and other sandwich ingredients and laid them on the counter. I rested my head in my hands for a moment to calm myself. I felt arms wrap around me from behind and knew that it was Harry. He rested his head on my shoulder and relaxed his body into mine, we fit perfe-. NO LOUIS, DON'T THINK LIKE THAT IT'LL ONLY MAKE THIS HARDER TO HIDE! I sighed and leaned back into him like I always do, this is why everyone says we have such an intense bromance, because we are both very physical people. In order to calm the other down we have to touch them. It was just the way we are.

"Lou, what are you thinking about?" Harry questioned.

Without thinking I said, "You," and then realized what I had said and, after flushing a vibrant shade of fuchsia, I chuckled and added, "And our intense bromance."

I felt his chest vibrate before he responded with "It is kind of intense, huh?"

Thinking back to where we were headed on the floor in the living room I simply chuckled again and started making lunch so, as usual I made it with him still holding onto my waist the entire time. It wasn't hard, like I said we fit each other perfectly. Every time I shifted he would too at the same moment as if anticipating my movement and moving with me. When the food was ready, I called the others in and placed their plates in front of them as they sat down.

"Finally," Niall muttered and took a bite, moaning at the taste.

I simply raised an eyebrow and handed Harry his plate while eating from my own. Afterward, I washed up in the kitchen, doing the dishes was methodic; I had time to think while my body went on autopilot. I thought about how close I had come to Harry earlier and how he had felt, my, erhm, ehem, friend, and then about how good it had felt to be in that position. I had been so deep in my thoughts that I almost dropped the bowl I was holding when I heard Harry say, "I highly doubt that, that bowl is that dirty, Lou."

It was then that I realized that I had been cleaning the same bowl for a lot longer than necessary. I put the bowl under the water and rinsed it before putting it on the rack to dry and checking to make sure there weren’t any more dishes before turning the water off and drying my hands. I again felt two strong arms that obviously belonged to Harry wrap around me and pull me into him. I didn't mind this at all, I just didn't want him to notice the way my heart sped when he drew close to me. The way my breathing hitched when he wrapped his arms around me. The way that I thought we fit perfectly. I leaned farther into him letting my every worry and anxiety slip away, as I relaxed into his arms. He started to nuzzle his head into my neck and I let him, tilting my head so he had better access to my neck. He kissed the area where my neck and shoulder came together, before he nipped at it with his teeth causing me not only have a love bite but to also moan. I felt him smirk against my neck before he pulled me closer, and I realized that I wasn't the only one that was turned on at this current moment. Being, the cheeky flirtatious boy I was, I moved my hips back and forth making him moan and pull me closer.

"Hmm...” I mumbled before turning slightly to look at his face and continued, "I think someone is a little turned on being in close proximity to my sexiness," I mimicked his words from earlier.

He chuckled again before saying in a very deep and husky voice, "If this is a little turned on you don't want to see a lot turned on, Lou."

I chuckled before pushing myself closer to him, and then in an equally deep voice I replied, "And why would that be?"

He grabbed my hips and turned me around all the way so that I was facing him and pushed me against the counter before putting his lips on the spot where my neck and shoulder connect again, my spot. "Because I wouldn't be able to hold myself back from," he paused before pressing himself against me again; I didn't need him to finish that statement.

"Who said I wanted you too?" I asked honestly curious, he pulled back enough to look at my face, seeing that I was honestly curious.

"Lou," he started, but, this conversation had happened during some of my worst nightmares, he would look at me disgusted before pulling away and not ever looking at me the same way again. I ducked out of his grip and put distance between myself and him.

"Never mind Harry," I turned and bolted to my bedroom before collapsing on my bed, grabbing my pillow and curling into a ball and let the very unmanly tears fall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Writen by me (Jadeluvsu_96)

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~The Rademance Girls