control // newtmas au

rebuff

October 8th, 2001

     Nothing. Newt had told him time and time again that he was afraid of nothing. Thomas was calling absolute bullshit on that. He woke up once more during the night. Newt had his hand on Thomas' bicep, squeezing it and pulling his body against Thomas' side. He kept making little whimpering noises and at one point he squeezed Thomas' arm so hard it hurt.

     Afraid of nothing my ass. Thomas thought as he sat up and threw the covers off him. Newt was gone the second time Thomas woke up. Thomas felt disappointed for some reason, but he decided to ignore it. He still wasn't exactly sure what had happened last night. He had no idea why he freaked out or the cube didn't wake him up, Thomas planned on talking to the professor as soon as he got dressed.

     Thomas stretched as he stood up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with his fists. He yawned as he stumbled to his dresser. He dropped his boxers and shirt and exchanged them for a clean pair with jeans and a hoodie. Thomas definitely felt better, at least better than he was feeling before he got to the school. He was sleeping more, killing less and sometimes actually having fun.

     Thomas combed through his hair with his fingers and popped a piece of gum in his mouth, feeling satisfied with himself as he walked out his room's door.

     "Hey Tom!"

     Thomas jumped when a voice sounded from next to him. He felt his stomach drop when he realized it was Teresa.

     "Oh hey Teresa." Thomas smiled sleepily at her.

     She returned the look before clearing her throat. "So uh listen, about last night..."

     Please say it was a mistake and you regret it, Thomas begged in his head.

     "...are we like a thing?"

     "A thing?"

     She nodded, flipping her shiny black hair over her shoulder. "Yeah, like you don't talk to anyone else and I don't either. I wanna make sure we're on the same page. Does that sound okay?"

     How am I supposed to know what I want us to be right now? If you haven't noticed Teresa, I kill people in my sleep, maybe I should try and figure that out first. A million thoughts were swarming around Thomas' head in that moment. This was probably the last thing he wanted to deal with right now.

     Minho's words from the pub flicked through Thomas' mind then, before he could open his mouth. Teresa was honestly a pretty nice girl, she wasn't anywhere near ugly either. Saying no to her felt too mean, but honestly Thomas had no idea how these things worked. He'd never dated before and Teresa was his first kiss. Maybe you learned to like them more after you became a 'thing'. He remembered how happy Newt looked when he was with Alby in the bar, Thomas really wanted that. He wanted someone to look at him like that, maybe Teresa would.

     "Uh yeah, sure."

     "Really?" Teresa grinned while she reached over and squeezed Thomas' hand.

     Thomas nodded, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his gut. Why did this all feel so wrong?

     "So where are you off too now?" Teresa asked, cocking her head. She left her fingers intertwined with Thomas'. It felt okay, it wasn't the worst thing in the world, he kinda liked holding hands. He liked it when Newt held his hand, he could probably get used to Teresa doing it.

     "I have to talk to the professor."

     "Want me to come with you?"

    Thomas shook his head. "It's kinda private stuff."