I Am Not • changlix

02 • I Am Not

THIRD PERSON's POV

"Lix? Gising na," Felix felt someone softly tapping his back. Nagtago siya sa kanyang kumot nang marinig niya ang pamilyar nitong boses.

Changbin hyung.

"Lix, nagluto ako ng sopas para sayo. Sabi ni Chan hyung 'di ka pa daw kumakain. Binilihan na rin kita ng gamot kaya gumising ka na para makainom ka na rin." Pagkumbinsi nito sa binata.

Felix sighed. Sa totoo lang, ayaw niya munang harapin si Changbin. It makes him look weak and pathetic—nahihiya siya dahil sa nangyari kanina. Waiting Changbin for nonsense hours made him look so desperate.

"Lix? Sige na." Bulong muli nito.

Felix slowly peeked into the small hole that his comforter provided, kitang-kita niya si Changbin na nakaluhod sa sahig. Hindi niya ito masyadong makita dahil nakapatay ang ilaw sa kwarto.

Although, seeing Changbin in that position, willingly waiting for him to get up just to eat with him and drink his medicine—made his heart squeeze in pain.

Seriously? He should be getting mad at Changbin for leaving him behind a while ago, but his heart can't stay being furious for too long when it comes to his Changbin hyung. His heart would always get soft automatically when it comes to him.

Sobrang nagagalit si Felix sa kanyang sarili dahil rito. He promised himself a while ago not to give Changbin any attention—but here he is, breaking his promise.

He painfully took a deep breathe. Slowly, he pushed down his comforter and slowly took a glance at Changbin, "'D-Di ako makatayo." His deep voice broke as he uttered those words, it came out a little funny, causing for Changbin to softly giggle at what he heard.

Sht, he's laughing. And he hates himself for falling for his trap once again.

Nagulat naman si Felix nang biglang lumapit si Changbin at akmang bubuhatin na sana ito, ngunit dahil sa sobrang pagkabigla, umupo ng tuwid si Felix. Mabuti't hindi nagkabungguan ang dalawa nilang ulo. Kaagad lumayo si Changbin at napaupo sa sahig.

Felix deeply closed his eyes when he felt himself getting lightheaded. His head started to throb at the sudden movement he made. Dahan-dahan niyang sinandal ang kanyang ulo sa pader sa kanyang tabi.

"Uy, ayos ka lang?" nag-aalalang tanong ni Changbin at lumapit kay Felix.

"Mhm, hyung." He weakly responded. He slowly opened his eyes, "Mauna ka na sa labas, susunod nalang ako." Mahina nitong bulong.

"Hindi kita pwedeng iwan, Lix. Sige na, tutulungan nalang kitang makatayo."

Felix rolled his eyes, aish, this hyung is really hard headed. Hindi niya ba alam ang salitang space? But despite his annoyance, he still let himself breaking his guard down for Changbin. Dahan-dahan at sabay silang lumabas ng kwarto nila Felix at dumiretso sa kusina.

Ipinaghain ni Changbin si Felix ng isang mangkok ng sopas. Pumangalumbaba si Felix sa mesa habang kinakalikot ang kutsara sa kanyang sopas. Paulit-ulit niya itong iniikot upang maalis ang init nito.

"L-Lix—" Hindi natuloy ni Changbin ang sasabihin nang biglang inangat ni Felix ang kanyang tingin kay Changbin. He let himself show his most intimidating look—which fortunately, took an effective turn.

Napalunok ang binata nang makitang yumuko si Changbin. Pain and regret obviously evident on his face.

"Bakit?" Mahina nitong tanong.

"S-Sorry." May biglang inilapag na dalawang maliit na karton ng strawberry milk ang mas nakatatanda.

Felix suddenly felt his heart aching for some reason. Napahilamos ito sa kanyang mukha, hindi niya talaga kayang magalit ng matagal.

The corner of Felix's lips turned upward a little, "Hindi mo naman kailangan ng pang-peace offering." Nakayuko nitong sambit habang dahan-dahan hinihipan ang kutsarang may laman na sabaw ng sopas.

Dahan-dahan siyang kumain. With every spoonful of the soup, he can feel his heart radiating with warmth and comfort.

"Eh anong gusto mo kung ayaw mo ng strawberry milk? Naghanap pa ako ng ganyan sa ilang convenience store ha."

Felix rolled his eyes, "Hyung naman, I never asked for anything but your time. Kasalanan mo na kung bakit 'di ka nakahanap agad ng strawberry milk."

"Time?" Nagtatakang tanong ni Changbin.

Tinaas ni Felix ang kanyang kilay, "Oo, time, oras. Quality time ang gusto ko sayo, hindi strawberry milk." Iritado nitong sambit.

Changbin scrunched up his nose, "Mas kinokonsensya mo naman ako eh." Then he leaned forward a little to inspect more of Felix.

Nilakihan naman ni Felix ang kanyang mga mata, "Hala, hindi 'yon intensyon ko! Gusto ko lang talaga ng konting oras mo hyung. . ." He uttered, his voice faltering a bit, too shy to even ask a little bit of his time.

"Sige, sige. Kumain ka na diyan, mag-quality time tayo mamaya." Kaagad naman napaangat ang tingin ng binata kay Changbin nang banggitin niya ito.

Felix secretly pinched his thighs repeatedly, he felt his pulse on his wrist—it was beating so wild, "O-Okay." Kinagat niya ang kanyang daliri nang paulit-ulit—the younger can't hide the happiness overwhelming his being to the point that he can hear Changbin laughing at his excitement.

"Huwag mo ako tawanan, hyung! Masaya lang ako ngayon kahit hindi mo ako sinipot kanina." Depensa ni Felix kay Changbin.

Tumango lang si Changbin habang natatawa ng mahina, "Mhmm, kain na, kain na. Kumain ka ng marami para gumaling ka kaagad."

Tumango naman si Felix at kumain nga ng marami. Pakiramdaman niya nga ay nawala ang lagnat nito. Pinainom siya ni Changbin ng gamot bago nila naisipan tumambay sa sala ng kanilang dorm.

They silently sat on the couch, and Felix being the clingy guy he is, decided to squish himself beside Changbin. He looped his arms with his and snaked his other arm on his waist. Being this close to Changbin made Felix happy, a dumb smile is currently attached on his face.

Kinuha ni Changbin ang remote control ng TV bago ito pabirong hinampas sa ulo ni Felix.

Felix got startled, he glared at his hyung, "Aray hyung! Anong kasalanan ko?!"

Natawa ng mahina si Changbin, "Wala!" In-on niya ang TV.

"Anong gusto mong panoorin?" Tanong ni Changbin habang nilalagay ang TV sa Netflix.

Ngumuso si Felix at tumingala kay Changbin, "Cartoons, hyung."

Sa pangalawang beses, naramdaman ni Felix ang pabirong paghampas ni Changbin ng remote control sa kanyang ulo, "Hyuuuuung, ano bang kasalanan ko?" He whined.

"Puro ka nanaman cartoons eh. Ayaw mo ba ng action movie o horror?"

Kaagad umiling si Felix, "Nu, I want cartoons. Ayaw ko ng kahit ano maliban sa cartoons."

Changbin let out a defeated sigh, "Oo na. Anong cartoons?"

Felix dumbly smiled so wide at him, "Trolls, hehe."

"Okay."

After a few hours of streaming movies, Felix unconsciously fell asleep while his head is on Changbin's lap. Dahil na rin sa antok at pagod, nakatulog na rin si Changbin habang naka-on pa rin ang TV.

Little did they know, someone was monitoring them. Chan slowly got out of his room while holding a comforter and several pillows. Ibinalot niya ang comforter sa katawan ng dalawang binata na halos magkayakap na sa sofa. He placed the pillow under Changbin's head before he took the remote from his hand. He turned off the TV.

He calmly gazed at the two younger kids on the sofa. He felt himself smiling subtly at the sight of them, "Goodnight, kids."

Pinatay ni Chan ang ilaw ng sala bago napagpasyahan bumalik sa kanilang kwarto.

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