Sam Winchester Imagines | Elisabeth Johannson

Saying Goodbye

"That's it." You sighed a big, then lumped down on the edge of your bed. This was the moment you broke and your eyes got watered after dropping your hands in your lap. Suddenly, you heard a familiar sound and you lightened, a small smile appeared on your face.

Castiel sat down next to you and put a hand on your shoulder. You turned around with your head, your mascara washed-up.

"I don't want to leave you here. Neither you nor the Winchester brothers." you sniffled.

"Lucifer is not going to hurt you and as soon as I get back my angelic powers, I'll drag you out of there." he tried to comfort you.

"We both know, you'll never get it back." you turned around with your full body and looked up to him. He lowered his sad eyes. You tried to get his look and you smiled at him. "And I forgive you for that."

In this moment, Dean and Sam opened the door of the motel room. You look up at them, then back to Cas. Your eyes widened as you looked into the angel's blue eyes, as he promised not to tell the Winchesters where were you.

"You really wanted to leave us here without saying goodbye?" Dean raised his eyesbrows, some outrage could be heard in his deep voice.

"I just didn't want to hurt you by having an emotional farewell." you gazed up to him and Sam. The younger brother didn't look into your eyes which made you even sadder than before.

"Anyway." Dean closed the conversation then looked at the clock on the wall. You only had half an hour till midnight. You four felt a tug at your heart-strings, then you stood up to face the three boys.

"Look, guys, I didn't plan to do this, but..." you lifted your gaze up to the clock. "...I just can't go away without...this."

Now you met Sam's hazel eyes. The fact that you saw him giving up gave you enough strength and hatred to kill Lucifer, even if you paid with your own life. But you didn't regret what you did to save these three, not even for a minute. Because knowing they could continue living their lives was enough for you to agree to Lucifer to take you down to Hell with him, so from now on he was going to leave the Earth alone.

"Y/N..." His eyes got filled with tearsas he tried to stop you, but you cut him off.

"Dean, please...What I did...more exactly when Lucifer came to me and told about this deal, he didn't have to give me a minute to think. Because I said yes to him trippingly. I don't know how many times you saved me from evil creatures, how many times you were there for me guys. And yet even though I promised you not to leave you, ever, I couldn't keep this promise. So..." and now, you pulled three folded papers out of your coat's pocket. "...I wrote all of you a letter that I wanted to tell you personal, but I think I won't have time to do that." And this was the last time you looked at the clock. At first, you hated yourself for gazing up to it and you didn't really wanted to do it, but in the end, you did: only four minutes have left.

You stepped to Castiel and stuck the letter, written to him, into his trench coat's pocket. He laid his head down a bit. This was the first time you even felt Castiel's pain in your heart. 

"Cas." you whispered his name which made the angel look up to you. You shook your head a bit to stop yourself from crying and pulled him into a tight hug. You held him for about twenty seconds. 

Then you both let each other, although hardly. Now, you walked to Dean. He lifted his hand up and opened his mouth to say something, hiding the emotional part of his, but you put your index finger to his mouth. You again put the letter into his coats innner pocket, where he used to put the fake FBI card. He still had one in there then. He left it there since the last issue.

"Well, Agent Bonham." you said, both of you having a tiny and even that tiny smile was painful on your face. In the next moment, the smiles disappeared.

"Hey, hey." Dean pulled you into his chest. You held him as strong as you could. "Okay." he whispered and you both let each other.

You turned your head to Sam, the one who always meant something else to you than Dean and Castiel. Your blood always boiled when he was close to you, your heart skipped a beat, the beated faster than it was healthy. And now, this wasn't different this time.

But instead of putting the letter into his coat's pocket, you slowly lifted his hand up in front of your chests and put it on his palm.

"Sam. We'll wait for you in the car." Dean told and they walked out of the motel room.

Now, you both gazed back into each other's eyes. Tears covered your eyes and Sam wiped them after they rolled down on your cheeks.

"I was always afraid to tell this to you and thought that I'd have time for it later. Now I regret all the chances I didn't take for tell you that I love you so much." his eyes got filled with more tears, but now you pulled down his head to you and pressed your lips to his.

In the next moment, the light turned on and off, showing Lucifer's appearance, before you could see him. Sam took the last chance to save you, and stepped in front of you to hide you from The Fallen Angel, but hopelessly.

"Sam, you're late. Give me Y/N. The sooner I get her, the faster I leave the Earth."

Sam knew he couldn't do anything and you helped him by stepping out of his cover, walking slowly to Lucifer. You stopped in front of him, you looked at him like if you could kill him with your gaze, he was already dead.

"Go to Hell." you snapped at him.

"Gladly." he smirked and held your hand. This was the last time you saw Sam Winchester, before the light around you made you cover your eyes. And from now on, you spent your time downstairs.

A/N: I know this was a very sad part and that I've already wrote a similar to this, but tomorrow I'm going into a summer camp for 9 days and I really don't want to go, but it's too late now. Somehow I'll make it. Thank you for reading my book so far.