It'll Never Be Perfect

2

"I know that now, I was just so confused at first, Louis, I didn't know what to do." He tries to explain himself, but Louis thinks he sounds like a scratched disc repeating itself.

"Well, now that the divorce is finalized I guess you can propose to Eleanor." Louis says sharply, earning a curious look from Liam.

"How do you know her?" Liam asks, sitting up a little. He doesn't know what to think.

Louis rolls his eyes, "I work with her, Liam, thats how." He mutters, taking a sip of his drink. He feels like he could use some of that OJ and Vodka right now.

"Oh okay." Liam says, "So are you and Harry not together any more? Saw you're here with Zachery."

Louis grimaces at the thought of ever not being with Harry and being with Zac instead, "No, it's just a friendly outing, Harry and I are still together, I think? It's complicated."

Liam nods, smiling sadly, "He loves you, you know?"

Louis nods, though he isn't so sure, "Yeah, I know, I love him too."

Liam stands up off of the stool when Zac reappears, patting Louis on the back, "I'll see you around, Louis."

"Bye Liam." Louis says, not bothering to look back at him when he walks away, his gaze back on Zac.

"You have it in with all of our old teachers, don't you?" Zac laughs, winking at Louis.

Louis scoffs, "No, Just Harry, don't twist it." He chuckles, "Mr. Styles." He reminds him.

"How's that going?" Zac asks, looking at Louis with a look of wonder. Louis ponders if he should tell Zac anything.

"Um- You know, It's fine." Louis shrugs, looking off and taking some sips of his drink nervously.

Zac frowns, "C'mon Lou, I can tell when your lying, Whats up?" He asks, looking at Louis with a face that screams sincere.

Louis sighs, "Well..." He spills everything to Zac, he doesn't know why he does. He knows he shouldn't, but he really thinks Zac is different, more mature and less rude. He feels like he can trust Zac, for the most part. So he does and tells him everything. How Harry broke his heart, the drugs and how Harry had taken a step back.

Louis regrets saying anything as soon as Zac lays a comforting hand on his high, too close to his pelvis for his comfort. "If it were me, I wouldn't have left you." He says sweetly, "I would've stayed by your side."

Louis looks at him with disbelief written all over his face, he pushes Zac's hand off of him and gets off the stool, "Unbelievable." He snaps, shaking his head as he stomps off.

Zac calls after him, but Louis is gone before he can catch up, already in a Taxi back home. His home, the home Harry let him stay in. It's one of the many things Harry has done that truly allows Louis to know how much Harry really cares about him.

Louis has tears down his face when he gets home, he's gutted. He hates himself for ever letting Zac even feel like it was the slightest bit okay. Harry's going to despise him for it, he's going to yell and scold Louis for being so stupid.

Despite being scared of Harry's reaction, he calls him anyway, curled up on the couch. He knows he should've texted Harry and asked if it was a good time, but he was too upset to think clearly.

"Hey, Louis, It's not a good time, babe." Harry says as soon as he picks up the phone, "I'm about to get in the shower."

Louis sniffles and lets the disappointment settle in, "Oh- Um- Okay, I'm sorry."

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you crying?" Harry asks and Louis cries harder, shaking his head.

"No- I-I'll talk to you later." He hangs up the phone and tosses it on the floor, presses his face into the couch, sobbing into it. He doesn't know why he's crying so hard. He's hurt, embarrassed.

The Harry he used to know wouldn't care if he was about to get into the shower, he would've been there, wether Louis was crying or not.

Things have changed now, Harry doesn't care for him like he used to. It breaks Louis's heart. He feels like his chest is going to explode in this realization. He wants to scream at Harry and beg him to give him an explanation.

Louis finally stops crying after about an hour, his stomach growling at him. He huffs and gets up, not bothering to check his phone. He knows he's going to get texts from Harry. He doesn't understand why Harry bothers at this point.

Well, actually he does. Louis thinks Harry has fallen out of Louis with him, but he doesn't want to let Louis know that because it will destroy all the hard work he's done to get better. It's sweet of Harry, really, but Louis has decided he can get better on his own. He can get through it himself, he wouldn't even be surprised if Harry was seeing someone else. He quickly pushes that out of his head though, the thought of Harry with someone else makes him sick to his stomach.

He should of never depended on Harry so much in the first place. He needs to get better for himself, that way if he's alone in the end, he won't relapse. He'll be okay. He just wants to be okay. He can't remember the last time he was.

After Louis eats, he finally picks up his phone, he sees multiple texts and phone calls from Harry, most of the text telling him that he's sorry and to please pick up the phone.

Louis bites his lip and types something out that hurts, something he really doesn't want to say at all.

Louis: I think it's best we take time from each other, including texts. You're going through a lot and all I am to you is a burden right now. I want you to focus on yourself and your family. I love you.

Louis sends it and almost immediately Harry is refusing text after text. He tells Louis he's ridiculous to feel that way. Louis only ignores him, putting him on do not disturb.

He knows it's for the best. Maybe one day they can really fix things, but right now Louis needs to get better and Harry needs to focus on helping himself instead of trying to do that for himself and for Louis.