Life with the jokers: on tour

Part 17

I ate.

I smiled.

I drank.

But, inside, I just wanted to sleep.

I couldn't work with this tight schedule. The late nights, early rises. It drains you as fast as emptying water from a bottle. Gone in seconds. I've been more tearful when I'm left alone. I blame the lack of sleep. But a haunting sense always told me it wasn't. I was homesick.

Sure, being on tour is great. But my family is at home. My friends. Emily. She's the one that got me here, who got me the first Impractical Jokers ticket to see them live.

Where was she now?

At home. In Florida.

I was at the capital. Washington. 1000 miles away.

Did I make a mistake?

I want to go home.

I made a mistake.

I paused.

Emily. I miss you. What I did. I was an idiot. Nothing could stop me from being your best friends- not even a TV show. Forgive me. Please. I want to leave. I want to go home- I would do anything. But I only have a few weeks left. Please- just understand that excitement took over. I didn't process anything until the first week on tour. But it all went to my head. I forgot what was most important to me. What I did. I was an idiot. Nothing could stop me from being your best friend.
From, Olivia xx

Text: sent.

Anxiety level: peak.

"Why are you... are you ok?" Sal asked, leaning in. Changing his gaze from my phone to the tears blossoming at my eyes.

I nodded. Too energetically. "I'm fine. I just..."

Just what?

Want to go home.

"Need to go." I ran. Back through the crowd. Back through the dingy hallway. Back into my room.

Closest thing to home.

Seconds after I shut my door and collapsed on the bed, I was startled by loud banging on the door.

"Olivia? Olivia? What's up?"

Sal.

"It's just me. Can I come in?"

Between sniffs, my voice cracked. "Yes."

He took one step in and raised his eyes empathetically at me.

"I know what's going on."

"You do?" I asked.

"You couldn't help but fall in love with me, that's ok," he joked. I laughed, an ugly, nasally laugh.

"It's not that," I said quietly, almost a whisper, "it's so crazy. On tour. I'm exhausted. I've lost everyone."

"You've got us. And that's just how it is, but we try to enjoy ourselves as much as possible. To keep us sane."

Sal went to the bathroom and returned with some tissue.

"Thanks," I said. He was being so kind. Which made me tear up again. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it. Do you wanna get your breakfast now?"

I shook my head. "I'll meet you when you've finished. I'll get packing."

"Ok."

The door shut. I was alone again. Peaceful.

Piles of clothes were streamed around the room- desperately begging to be cleaned up. My suitcase was strewn across the room- resembling a tornado as if it had attacked the room.

And tidied in 5 minutes flat. Another knock on my door.

Joe.

"Hi."

"Hi. Are you ready to go?"

"Yep."

We swaggered down the hallway with our suitcases rolling behind us.

Sal, Q, Murr and Rachel were at the reception, waiting.

We met up and found our way to the tour bus- immediately greeted with the rough weather outside.

"I don't remember it raining earlier," Q said, battling though the wind and rain.

At least when we arrived on the bus, the heating was on.

"Aaah," we chorused. Warm like an open fire on Christmas.

"Next stop?" I asked.

"Were filming." Joe said.

"Actually," Murr chimes in, "I have an idea planned."