Cowboy Casanova

Chapter 17

"Yeah." I say, disencouraging risky conversation.

"What's this about coaching her?" Faith asks, still smiling.

"She was on a talent show, so for publicity, I gave her some on-camera pointers. She didn't need many." I say. Faith laughs.

"No shit. She's incredible."

"Not as incredible as you are." Faith looks over at me and rolls her eyes.

"You're going to need to get some more catchlines." She says.

"I shouldn't need many. The only girl I want seems to like me back." I say.

"Oh," Faith says laughing. "so Reba finally texted you back?" I laugh at her.

"I love you honey." I say.

"I know you do." She tease, patting my thigh.

"Hey guys! Thanks for having me out here." Carrie says. "Here another song that I wrote called I Can't Live A Lie." She says, promptly starting the song.

"Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you. Maybe turning my back would be that much easier.'Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange, but I can't watch you walk away. Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you? And all about the good times that we've been through? Could I wake up without you every day? Would I let you walk away? No, I can't learn to live without and I can't give up on us now." Carrie belts. Faiths looks over to me.

"Wow!" She says, smiling at me. I feel her hand wrap around mine as we look back to the stage.

"Oh, I know I could say we're through and tell myself I'm over you. Even if I made a vow, I promise not to miss you now. And try to hide the truth inside... I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie." She sings the chorus and continues with the song.

"Don't you miss being like that?" Faith says. I question whether she means the song or the performance.

"What do you mean?"

"Like walking out and being so nervous that you could barely speak, then belting something out and surprising yourself." She says. I nod, thinking about how we met. We were still in that stage when we were dating. Now we go out with the slightest amount of butterflies.

"Lets do a duet." I say, looking over at Faith. She sits for a moment thinking.

"That's a little spontaneous, don't you think?"

"I don't have enough time to plan." I say. She nods, looking down at her hand, which is still clinging to mine.

"Alright." She smiles up at me. "Lets do this."

I walk on stage, knowing that I have three songs. One of which is a duet, another has to be Live Like You Were Dying, leaving the third one up to me. I start with Live Like You Were Dying. I look at Faith as the song starts.

"He said I was in my early 40's, with a lot of life before me, and a moment came that stopped me on a dime." Faith already has tears emerging in her eyes. I wish I could hug her right now, but I would get killed for doing that. I stop singing, freaking out everyone in the room. My manager is already about to scream at me, and the camera guy is ready to stop the feed when I call for Faith.

"Everybody give a hand to my beautiful wife." I say, waving her up. She gets up hesitantly and steps on stage.

"What are you doing?" She asks, wiping tears from her eyes. I pull up two barstools, grab a guitar, and start singing Live Like You Were Dying once again with her next to me. I look over her most of the time I sing.

"I spent most of the next days, lookin' at the x-rays, talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time. Asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end. How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news. Man what ya do?" I sing, starting to tear up to. I continue onto the chorus, trying not to lose my composure.

"I went sky divin', I went rocky mountain climbin', I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.And I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I've been denying. He said someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dyin'." I sing. I continue to sing through the song without any major event. When I finish, I put down the guitar and wrap my arms around Faith, who is sobbing. I start to whisper to her.

"Shhhh.... Baby it's okay. I love you so much." I say. She pulls out.

"I love you too." She says. I wipe away her tears.

"Now sit back down." I say into the mic. The crowd laughs.

"Why?" she asks into her mic, wiping away any extra tears I missed.

"I'm serenading you." I laugh, she smiles and takes a deep breath.

"Oh god." The whole crowd laughs. The camera stays on as I contemplate what my choice song should be.

"Here's a song I wrote about the most incredible woman I've ever known.This is Halo." I say, singing a song that even the record label hasn't heard.

"Let's just cut it down the middle, let it bleed and bleed out. I'll clean up the mess, baby, you stand there and shout. Cry, cry, Baby, I can't hold us together. Paint me in a corner, cover me with rage. I'll take it like a circus lion, silent in my cage. Cry, cry, baby, I can't change the weather." I sing. Faith looks at me with her big green eyes. I try to take a picture in my mind to save if for when I'm gone.

"Baby, I'll let go, when you say so. I'll try to let your heart fly free. I'll crawl out of my cradle, down in to my black hole and you just lay low, under your halo." I sing. Faith is crying, so I stop there. The crowd cheers.

"I love you honey." I say.

"I love you too." She mumbles while wiping her tears. I laugh a bit.

"You okay?" I ask. She nods. "Okay, well, Faith and I are now going to sing together, a song from a few years ago. Here's It's Your Love." I say, and start to play. She smiles at me as I start to sing.