Phan Oneshots

Incurable

Tw-  cancer, mentions of death and blood and details of panic attack
But it's still light hearted though, I swear! :)
(A great way to start any book)

It was just another night in London. Dan and I just got back from seeing his family and they ended up shoving us back home due to my worsening cough that I contracted from an unknown place. It's been a while with this cough and it hasn't been getting better AT ALL.
Of course the first thing we did when Dan brought up that it may be a cold, was google my symptoms and dear god that was a bad idea.
The search results ranged from Hepatitis B all the way to Rectal and Prostate cancer. We obviously knew we were on the wrong side of the internet, so after a few sex jokes from Dan and a few more crude ill results, we decided to just ride out the sickness.
I was thinking of making a video about it until it happened. Dan was in the kitchen making the only he could make, stir fry. I was in my room getting my camera ready and my damn tripod wouldn't open.
After one of the legs hit me in the face, I decided to call for Dan.
"DAN," I yelled with a hoarse voice, it sounded like I've been smoking since I was in the womb, "I NEED HELP WITH M-" then my throat tickled and I started coughing, but it wouldn't stop.
I tried to run to the bathroom up stairs until my coughing got worse to the point blood soaked the cuff of my bathrobe. Then it got all too hard to breath and I started panicking.
"Phil?" I heard from the hallway.
At this point I couldn't breath. I couldn't move. I was on the stairs and I couldn't do anything. All I was doing was coughing and crying. When did I start doing that?
The last thing I remember from that night was the pure terror on Dan's face when I started tumbling down the stairs.

It's currently Wednesday November 22nd 2021. The band on my ring finger was a tiny bit loose due to my weight loss, but at least I didn't look too much like a skeleton. If it were still October I could've still made a Halloween joke there.
"Good morning, Philip!" Janice walks in with her hearty attitude with Dan in suit, with red eyes but a big smile.
It hasn't been easy at all these last three years. I was diagnosed pretty late actually. When I came in they looked at my medical records and such and saw some shifty things then did a bone scan and a Bronchoscopy? A bronchi? Bronchi sauropod? Something like that and it was lung cancer.
Over time it spread throughout my both of my lungs, kidneys, adrenal glands, bones and liver. I'd love to say it's been a painless experience with my optimism and my fiancée by my side all the way but let's just say I'd rather take up that one guy on his tickling offer years ago then go through this. At my worst times I would say that it's incurable and I'll just drop dead one day.
At least the surgery wasn't a bust and I'm not wheezing like a dog with a cold.
"Hey, Dan. Morning Janice." Janice looked over at Dan as if to say he can sit down, which he did. He took my hand with his hand and matching band. "The surgery was a success to reduce the size of the tumour. I'm guessing you're breathing better now?" Janice asked me taking a really quick note then putting her clipboard on the door.
"I'm actually feeling loads better really. Of course my bones are all achey and stuff but I'll be fine." I told her. Oh course they were a bit more than achey but I really wanted to leave. Today I was going to get discharged and have a whole day before we went suit shopping with our friends. "Alrighty, I'll get Dr. Everest to come talk about specifics and you're out." Dan waves at her on her way out then puts his head down on the side of my bed.
"Someone's tired." I said using my free hand to brush the hair from his eyes. "Yeah, well I wasn't in a two day drug induced coma, bub, but I sure as hell could totally go for one right about now." He said with hoarse voice looking up at me. I smiled at him before leaning down to kiss his forehead. "You excited for tomorrow?" He asked through a yawn, he's been so anxious about the surgery for weeks and trying to make sure I'm comfortable here and I love him for it. I might just treat him to a weekend in bed for it, if he feels up to it.
"Yeah, Pj said Felix was coming along too since it's been forever since the last time he saw us. Bry couldn't make it since the plane was delayed so it's just gonna be Chris and Tom with you tomorrow." I jokingly rolled my eyes, "So you get Pj, Tyler, AND Felix?" Dan tiredly shrugged, "Maybe Marzia will go with you." Then Dr. Everest knocked at the door. "Please, do come in." I said in an overly posh voice. When Dr. Everest came in he laughed and replied with, "Why thank you, good sir." in an accent just as exaggerated.
No, I wouldn't talk to people I just met this way, thanks for thinking I'm that out there, but Dr. Everest has been seeing me since the beginning. Three years is a really long time if you think about it.
  "I'm sure Janice told you that the surgery went great, no complications. There shouldn't be any change in medication, you won't have to take as many painkillers now, so I'm not going to sign another note for a refill." I smiled, then winced a little at my stitches. They took me off the drip. "When did we schedule the Chemo?" My mind was so foggy but at the same time clear. "Next month, we did it before the surgery  and after. You should be feeling a lot better." I nodded and gripped Dan's hand, he fell asleep.
"He was talking about suit shopping tomorrow, and I know that takes a lot out of you." Dr. Everest said. "Make sure he gets some sleep when you two get home."
"Can I drive?" I asked shaking Dan awake.
"Only if you think you can. Though, it'd be best if Dan were to drive." He chuckled at Dan as he abruptly sat up.
  "Dane, good morning." Dan said through a yawn.  "Yeah, I recommend driving out now to beat rush hour, as it's-" he checked his watch, "3:40."
  In a good thirty minutes I was up and discharged, which is always the best feeling in the world.
  We only recently got a car when we thought it was more convenient than a 30 minute taxi or Uber, so we ultimately decided to buy a 2021 Jaguar. Dan being the mostly-designated-driver. Other than in times like these. After taken some painkillers, I was good to drive back to our flat.
Now, I know how much we exaggerate how BAD of a driver I am. But with enough practice I've become LESS of a bad driver in the span of a year.
"Phil?"
"Yes?"
Dan's seat was pulled back all of the way so he could lay down to sleep with our galaxy blanket.
"You know I love you right?" He said looking out the window in the back. He didn't sound very high-spirited and I don't think it was just because he was tired.
"I love you too... what's wrong?"
I pulled into the lot and moved the stick into park. Dan pulled the seat up and rushed to my side.
  Of course we've been through a lot lately. The surgery was a lot to cover, but with recent help from YouTube and their partnership with Netflix, we've been receiving for than a little ad revenue.
But we did have a discussion about life expectancy a month ago. As much as you'd think I'd be hanging on to every word coming out of Dr. Everest's mouth, I wasn't the one who worried the most about it.
Us getting engaged a year ago wasn't a decision out of worry or us being afraid of the future and time. It just gave us a goal and something to look forward to, and give us hope for. Maybe after, we'd have another to look after other than Norman the Wonderfish. But whatever that was bugging Dan was really messing with him.
"Bear?"
We were in bed and we closed the curtains the curtains all the way. His room was always the best to sleep in since it was the darkest. There were boxes everywhere because we decided on a flat right outside London. Close enough to the city but far enough to be in the countryside.
  "Bear, what's bothering you?" Dan stuffed his face into my neck and his wrapped his arm tighter around my waist and was careful not to mess with the stitches under my shirt.
  "I had a dream last night..." he said, but his sentence dragged off. He moved his face from my neck to my shoulder then sniffled. "You had a dream?" He nodded. "Was it a good dream?" He didn't move.
  " It was the middle of the night, and you had to be on oxygen because the tumour grew really really big. And-" he started crying and shaking. "Phil, what if something happens? Here, at home? And I can't do anything about it but just wait and call for an ambulance? And they don't get here in time? Last time was so close, and I was terrified-" then he just sobbed and I held him.
I can't say that Dan hasn't done everything in his power to help me. Because that's exactly what he's done. He's learned every machine in a hospital room, he's strong enough to lift two oxygen tanks at the same time and he worries all of the time. Times may be rough for me, but everything that happens to me, falls on him.
"Okay... here let's make a deal." I said, turning in my side to hold him. "If I, for some reason, don't make it to put that ring on your finger in three months, I want you to throw your ring away." His eyes opened wide, "WOT?" I nodded at the ceiling.
  "Yup. Curse me for not keeping my promise. I said I would, remember?" I hooked my pinkie around his pinkie and help it tight until he smiled. "Yeah..." I grabbed his hand instead, "And if I do make it passed February, then we adopt." Dans eyes went wide.
  "Are you sure?"
  "Totally."
  "Why?"  He asked, it wasn't a bad confusion I don't think. I mean, I have a 50/50 chance of making it even anther two years, so even I question myself about it.
"Another goal. Another person to live for other than my beautiful fiancée and a fish."
Dan scoffed and blushed, but his face remained thoughtful. "I want a girl."
  "Then a girl we'll get. You'll be the best dad ever!" I said, tackling him into the sheets giggling with him. "You little shit!"
  Of course it's painful. Everything's painful.
But this is a pain I'm willing to live through to be with him.
When we calmed down into a comfortable position to sleep in, I admired his resting face in the dark.
  "Hey, love?"
  "What do you want?" He said in a  playful tone.
  "You know I love you right?"
  "I'd hope so, you're marrying me, right?"
I smiled at his hopes and facts.
  "Good night, love."
  "Night."
  And it wasn't a perfect life to most people. And it's not perfect yet, but it will be. Because my daughters name is Yazi, and my husband is still high-spirited. And if love can keep me alive, then maybe this illness isn't so incurable.

Hahahahaaha, yes it is I, Kam, back at it again.
If you know me, I can be a really in decisive person.
I told myself I would publish a one shot book like this after I finished another book
...
..
Didn't exactly happen?
Am I glad?
Idk yet
Was this a good idea?
I don't think so
Hotel?
Triavgo
Anyway
If someone actually reads this, I hoped you like it. It doesn't matter if I don't get many reads on it because I'm gonna update it anyway HAHA!

Kam