[ 1 ] EXPLODE ( r. black ! )

nineteen || without a doubt

                "Do you know that you sound like a sociopath-worshipping robot?" She yelled sarcastically and then took a deep breath, regaining herself. "You don't have to do anything."

                "Eleanor, you think you understand this but you don't!"

                Pushing down the arms he'd raised to emphasise his yelled point, Eleanor met his volume in a pleading tone she'd never heard from herself, "Then explain it to me!"

                There was an alliance met between them in the next few silent seconds. Both angered people knew, whether they'd admit it or not, that they weren't fighting on behalf of their respective sides in the War. In that moment, she could only care about being right about the boy in front of – not for herself, not for his brother who still cared for him deep down, but because she knew there was good inside of him and she'd always known that. If there was no good in him worth believing in, Eleanor thought, he would never have let have her time to grieve when something horrific happened before continuing the rivalry.

                Which was why her heart broke a little when he shook his head, locking that part away from not just Voldemort but from everyone. "I can't, Eleanor."

                "Then what do you expect me to do, Regulus?" She asked, calmly, before taking a deep breath to lay all cards on the table without dropping one. "Fall in love with you and just be content with you serving a man that wants to kill people that I already love? Is that even what you want?"

                "I never said that I wanted you to fall in lo— Don't give me that look." He sighed once his eyes travelled from the door to her unconvinced face. Only biting their own lip stopped them each from cracking a smile as if the argument was merely part of their past rivalry. "I don't know alright."

                "Then how am I supposed to know? I can't tell you what you're thinking, Regulus. I can't tell you your beliefs. What I can do is inform you, help you, sway you to the side that doesn't have a mass murderer as a leader—"

                "Dumbledore is no saint, Eleanor, I know that you know that."

                At first, she had gone to open to her mouth to protest the badmouthing of who was technically the leader of the resistance against Voldemort. However, recalling the many nights she'd spent complaining to Pandora – and then again to Kelsie, Lily and the Marauders after her best friend reminded her of her decision to stay out of the War – about the terrible decisions he'd made, she closed her mouth. Even in an argument she wanted to win, she couldn't lie about her opinions to further that chance and Eleanor firmly believed Dumbledore was not a good leader.

                Slytherin's had hateful connotations surrounding them in every part but none more so about their so-called selfish tendencies because of the majority valuing self-preservation (and actually keeping themselves alive). On the other end of the scale was where Dumbledore rested comfortably without opposition from anybody in his supporting Houses even as he sacrificed as many people who would willingly stumble into battle – as long as he won something in the long term. The tactics that the old man had shown through his use of the Order had slowly but surely turned Eleanor away from wanting to join because she believed she could find a way to help for a long time rather than sacrifice herself for a short one.

                "Maybe I do," Eleanor admitted but continued the second she noticed Regulus' smug gesture of 'there you go then', "But does he kill innocent people just because of their blood? Does he kill creatures that have done no harm to us even though we sickeningly enslave and use them to our advantage? Nobody is perfect, Regulus – a lot of people have bloody hands – but some of us are right and some of us are good."