Damaged and Afraid

Chapter 6

            Sanjana’s heartbeat quickened.  Her eyes darted from side to side, looking to see if anyone was near them.  She started pushing against Arjun’s chest.      

            Arjun pulled away from her, taking a few steps back. 

            “Now, tell me that didn’t make you worry more.” Arjun grinned. 

            “You’re supposed to be making me feel more relaxed, not adding to my worries.” Sanjana chastised. 

            “That’s no fun.” Arjun said cheekily. 

            Sanjana burst out in laughter, and soon Arjun joined her. 

           

            Sanjana woke up feeling anxious.  She looked over at the clock on her nightstand.  7:00am. Today was the day she had to meet Rohit and Sheila for lunch.  They were supposed to meet at a restaurant downtown at noon.  Sanjana sighed.  She hated when she dreamt about Arjun.  She remembered how much he made her laugh, how much color he’d brought into her mundane life before he took everything away from her.  She pulled out her diary from under her pillow and began writing.  Her last entry had been about her and Sheila’s unpleasant first encounter.  She started writing down her dream as best as she could remember it.  Writing calmed her down.  It took her mind off of anything that was troubling her.  Dance used to be her outlet, and she missed it dearly, but now it was writing.  She felt safe when she wrote. 

            After nearly an hour of writing, Sanjana decided to get ready.  She dressed in a simple blue salwar kameez and slipped a few bangles on her wrists.  She was applying some makeup when she heard the front door close and her aunt’s car pull away from the driveway.  She looked over at the clock.  It was almost half past eight.  Meenakshi always left for work around this time but never bothered waking Sanjana up. She had explained to Sanjana that she should take the opportunity to sleep in because, in three months, she might not get the chance depending on Rohit’s expectations.  This morning, however, she couldn’t go back to sleep, especially not after she’d just dreamt about Arjun.  

            Rohit felt uneasy all morning.  He hoped this encounter between Sheila and Sanjana would go a lot more smoothly.  They both had early morning shifts today.  He just hoped Sheila wouldn’t be crabby and tired after working for so many hours so early in the morning.  He had been avoiding her.  Usually, he’d make time between rounds and surgeries to go visit Sheila.  Today, he’d had some time but chose to stay away from her. 

            “Hey!” Sheila caught up with him in the hallway. 

            “Hey, Sheila.” Rohit greeted. 

            “Are you avoiding me?” She asked. 

            She knew.  Of course, she knew.  Sheila was very observant and knew everything about Rohit.  She understood his emotions better than he did himself. 

            “No,” Rohit lied. 

            “Yes you are.” Sheila replied.  “You’re going to choose her over me?”

            “Never.” Rohit replied automatically.  He didn’t know Sanjana well enough to choose her over Sheila, who had been his best friend ever since they were children. 

            “For the record, I never liked Abhay better than you either.” Sheila said. 

            Rohit sighed.  Abhay was her husband.  They never talked about him because he wasn’t worth talking about.