Zouis One Shots

Male Bonding or Whatever

Perrie: and he sure as fuck needs a smack every now & then

Perrie: hahahahahah 

Zayn’s staring so intently at the screen that he barely notices when Louis sneaks up beside him, yanks one big earphone off and screams into his ear. 

"Fuck!" Zayn yells, shoving him off and his laptop shut at the same time. 

Louis grins, wrapping his arms around Zayn’s head and licking his ear. Disgusting, he is. Zayn squirms away.  

"What are you doing?" Louis says. "You watching porn?" 

"No, dickhead, I was talking to Perrie," Zayn says, gruff, and Louis sits down next to him on the sofa, wriggling a little to get closer. 

"Lemme say hi to the missus," Louis says, nuzzling into Zayn’s shoulder. Across the room, Liam’s deeply engaged in his game, his face still red from Louis’ attacks. 

"No," Zayn says firmly. He’d rather jump out the bus window than open his laptop right now and let Louis see what they were talking about. 

"Come onnnn," Louis says. "What, are you having cybersex? Unghhh. Perrie. I fancy your tits. Send a pic." The last bit’s done in a truly terrible Yorkshire accent, and Zayn shoves him away, laughing despite himself. 

"Gerroff, perv," he says, tickling Louis’ hip, and Louis squeaks and kicks out. 

"Fine, but this isn’t a surrender,” he says, smacking at the flat of Zayn’s stomach over his shirt. “Just so you know.” 

"Alright," Zayn says, nodding, sardonic. "You tell yourself that, babes." 

Louis flips him off and goes back to harassing Liam. 

Zayn breathes out shakily and cautiously opens the laptop again. 

Zayn: sorry he just jumped on me, had to close the comp

Perrie: so he’s not mad?? 

Zayn: guess not 

Perrie: u can still give him a smack ;)

Perrie: if u want to.

Zayn: ???? 

Perrie: you always write ??? but u always know exactly what i mean

Perrie: u know the tour rules bebz 

Perrie: have u ever thought about it? 

Zayn: stop 

Perrie: you’re the one who started on about his jiggly arse

Perrie: was it reaaaally jiggly?? 

Perrie: send me a photo of his bum right now 

Zayn: no

Perrie: do it or we’re breaking the engagement

Zayn: u know that stops being believable when u use it every 2 min 

Perrie: fine, do it or i’ll release those photos i took of u with knickers on 

Zayn: those are on MY phone. also u would never 

Perrie: ugh i have to do everything around here 

Zayn: ??? 

Zayn: actually

Zayn: babe 

Zayn: where r u 

He rolls his eyes, flops his head back against the sofa, kicking at Liam’s leg as Liam walks past him into his bunk, says, “Goin’ to bed.”