These Scars

Chapter Twenty-Four

"Stop saying that." I say. Now I'm starting to get angry. He's not telling me something.

"No. I'm not going to lie. I said I was fine." He says.

"That's bullshit!" I say, my voice now rising. "You are lying! Just tell me what's wrong with you."

He shakes his head, his jaw clenched now. "I said I'm fine." He says sternly. "If you don't believe it, cool. But I said I was fine. Back off now."

I let my jaw hang open as he tries to walk out the door. I grab his shoulder and turn him around to face me.

"I will not back off." I hiss through my teeth. "You wouldn't back off if it was me acting off. You would annoy me to the point where I wanted to rip your head off and then I would tell you anyways. That's kind of how this thing between us works."

"What thing between us?" He asks with a smirk.

"Don't play dumb with me and don't change the subject. What's wrong with you?" I ask him. He still just shakes his head.

"I said nothing. Why don't you just trust me, Isabelle?" he asks, his voice straining.

"It's not that I don't trust you. It doesn't take much to realize that you aren't acting right and something's bothering you. All I want is for you to tell me what's going on." I say.

"No, you don't. Okay?" he says. His jaw is still clenched and jutting out. It keeps moving slightly, indicating that he's gritting his teeth. "Just listen to me for once when I say that I'm alright."

"But you aren't." I spit back.

"It doesn't matter!" he yells at me. "I am fine. Damn! How many times do I have to tell you? I am fine! I'm alright! I'm going to wake up tomorrow and be the same Alexander Ludwig. Nothing has changed."

"Tomorrow is different than now. And right now, you're not the same Alexander Ludwig." I say. He grimaces when I say that and turns so he's not facing me.

When he turns back around to face me again I can literally feel the anger radiating off of him. His face is red with anger and his fists are clenched at his sides. He gets closer to where he is towering above me and sending a terrifying glare down.

"I can live a thousand lives," He says, his voice uneven and cracked with fury. "I-I can live a thousand times, be a thousand different people, yet I would still end up being the same fuck-up that I am right now. Don't you dare tell me that I've changed or whatever it is you're trying to pull on me. Whether it's right now, tomorrow, or ten thousand years from now, I'm still going to be the same Alexander whether you like it or not."

"You've changed. Anyone can agree. Look at yourself from two weeks ago and look at yourself now. The change is pathetic." I spit out at him. "I don't know what happened with you, and maybe I don't want to know. But I want you to fix whatever is wrong with you. And if you can't, tell someone so they can. I want you to go back. I still love you. That's not going to change. But I hate seeing you act like this."

He just stares at me, his face softening. His eyes grow wide. "You said-"

I throw my hands up in defense. "Yeah, I said it! Look, right now, I could care less about our stupid game. I lose, I said I loved you first. Done, over. That's not important to me anymore."

"Then what's important to you?" he snaps.

"Making sure that you're okay." I tell him with a small smile.

Something that I said struck a nerve inside him because he covers his face in his hands as if he is grieving over something. His shoulders shake raggedly with each breath. I really do want to know what's wrong with him and I so badly want to fix it. It's obviously tearing him up from the inside out and I hate it for him.

"Hey," I say softly. I'm not sure whether he hears me or not because he doesn't take his face out of his hands. I wrap my arms around the middle of his torso and hug him as tightly as I possibly can. Shockingly, I feel his arms go behind me and pull me impossibly closer against him.

I move my arms to hook around his neck and look up at him. His eyes are still dreary and his face is still as hard as stone. I already lost the game or whatever, so I have nothing else to lose. I lean up and press my lips softly against his. And this time, it's a real kiss. I don't know if he can feel it too, but the electric feeling that I get out of the kiss makes me want to do it over and over. But I don't. I calmly break away from his soft, warm lips although I'm screaming inside. He doesn't say anything and just stares down at me with an unreadable expression. He takes in a rough, shaky sigh.

"Hey," I say with a weak smile. I pull him close and have to stand on my toes to rest my head on his shoulder. "I love you." I whisper into his shoulder.

He takes in another one of his dangerous sounding sighs and buries his head into my shoulder. I can feel the warmth coming through his hands as their pressed against my back, pulling me even tighter against him. He takes in more of those shaky sighs, his chest heaving greatly with each one. "I'm so sorry." He muffles into my shoulder.

I pull my head back to look at him. "Sorry? Sorry for what?"

He pulls his arms away and backs up, fumbling for the handle of the door. "I-I'm late. I have to go." He says while twisting the doorknob and pushing his way out.

"What are you sorry for, Alexander?" I ask him as I follow him into the hall. I stop in front of the door to my room and watch him walk farther down to the elevator.

He turns back, his eyes red and glassy. He just shakes his head and opens his mouth to say something, but never does, before he walks into the elevator. A lump forms in my throat. Before I can even think about following him, the doors of the elevator close. Hot tears sting my eyes and threaten to spill over but I tilt my head to force them back. I don't even go in my room and just sit against the door in the hall. I pull my knees to my chest and put my head down in my arms. I want to cry so badly right now but I'm not even sure why.

Questions keep filling my head. What did he do? Why is he acting like this?

I let out an awful choked sobbing sound but no tears fall. All I want right now is what I had minutes ago. I want to feel the security of Alexander's arms wrapped around me. I want to feel that needed feeling that I had when Alexander literally clutched onto me. I just want Alexander I guess.

I pull my head out of my arms and take out my cell phone. It's getting later and here I am, sitting against my door in the hallway. I look terrible, I know. I feel terrible.

I don't know why but I dial his number. He should really be the last thing on my mind right now.

"Hello?" the voice calls unsurely when he answers on the third ring. I smile when I hear it.

"Hey." I answer.

Again, late update. As I said last chapter, still not feeling good :/ but at least I got a chapter in today.