Nobody Ever Told Me - Shrek Fan fiction

A New Beginning Without That Hoe Fiona

Shrek left with a slam of a door. Him and Fiona were over for good. The night before they had a fight about their future and Shrek decided he was fucking done. He wanted freedom again, he wanted to be himself without Fiona. This started as soon as he stormed out of his swamp (he decided Fiona could have it to raise their kids) to go to Donkey as he wanted to start his new life with his one true love being the unpleasant mule himself.

*time skip brought to you by Heather, Heather, Heather and a babe*

"Leave me alone Shrek you weirdo!"

Donkey cried as he pushed the pleading ogre off his door step. "But you have to help me Donkey! We can start a new life together far, far away from this trash-hole! It's you Donkey! It's always been you!"

As Dragon flew into the doorway, pushing Shrek away from Donkey as he seemed to have crawled back, Donkey knew that this couldn't possibly work. He felt his half dragon half donkey children flutter around him as he shared one regretful glance at Shrek as he forced his body around to walk back into his house. Leaving a miserable Shrek behind him, Donkey couldn't help but feel a slight pang of guilt in his chest.

"That's it" Shrek said as he stood up annoyed. He stormed into the towns square in Far Far Away and planned his own death.

He decided to hang himself at the top of the tower. 'If life won't take me, hopefully death will.' He thought to himself as he walked rope to the top of the highest room, in the highest tower.

"I mess everything up, I'm just a big, stupid fugly ogre with nothing waiting for me at the end of the line. Fiona only loved me because we were both ogres, not because of who I truly am. There's more to me than just being an ogre that likes BDSM. But it's not worth it. Donkey is happily married and has kids, Charming..." he trailed off.

It was too late. Shrek already had his head in the noose ready to jump off the tower, hanging him. He shoved the thought of Charming away and screamed "YEET!" as he closed his eyes, welcoming his death.

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Hooty hoo what am i doing it's getting late... But yeah! This is a new book that me and a friend decided to make and I hope you guys like it!

Hope you are all having a nice existence

See ya!