On The Devil, We Ride

20

"I know this is hard on you, B. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through, but you've gotta look after yourself. Your mom wouldn't want to see you like this." He let out an exasperated sigh and clasped his hands around mine.

"You keep saying you're fine and you need space, but you're not, Brook. You need to let people in, let them help you through this." He added, his tone a mixture of frustration and worry.

"I know." I replied in a small voice.

"Baby I want you to talk to someone. You need to get out of your own head. If not me or the club, then talk to someone. You won't find any solace in the bottom of a fucking bottle." Jace's eyes flicked over to the row of empty alcohol bottles lined up on the counter.

"You want me to see a shrink?" I scoffed at him, snapping my gaze away from him angrily.

"If that's what it takes then yes. Getting shitfaced drunk isn't gonna change anything." He snapped back. I turned to him again and glared at him harshly.

"What the hell would you know? You haven't lost your parents. Your mom didn't die thinking you hated her. Don't even try and lecture me about dealing with pain." I growled at him. He pursed his lips and clenched his fists, obviously trying to control his temper.

"I'm trying to help you." He replied through gritted teeth.

"Well just stop, ok? I never asked for your help." The words tore from my lips without me meaning them to, and I saw the moment I pushed too far. He shoved his chair back and sprang to his feet, towering over me.

"Fine. You want to drink yourself stupid then be my guest, but I'm not sticking around to watch you do it. You decide you want some help, you know where to find me." He yelled at me before storming past me and out the door. It slammed so hard the floor shook before the distant rumble of his motorbike took over. Once he was gone, nothing but silence greeted me. It was cold and haunting, and I'd never felt so alone.

I stewed over Jace's words for the rest of the week. Any time I tried to sleep my dreams haunted me, yet every time I was awake I kept replaying the fight with Jace over and over again. Some naive part of me thought he would come back and try again, but he didn't. Jace was as stubborn as they come, and until I admitted I needed help I could kiss him goodbye. He'd been through this with me once before, and it came as no surprise that he didn't want to take that particular trip down memory lane.

"Take it Donna's still round Axel's?" I heard the familiar voice of Jimmy after the front door slammed shut. I didn't even move from the fort of pillows and covers I'd made on the floor as two sets of footsteps got louder.

"Yeah, probably still sleeping off last night." Jace replied bitterly before entering my room. I didn't look over, but I knew he was there.

"Shit." He muttered under his breath before coming over and standing over me.

"Jesus Christ, Brook." Jimmy said in shock from across the room. I felt both pairs of eyes on me, probably taking in my dismal appearance. I hadn't slept, eaten or even showered in God knows how long.

"Hey Jimmy, how about you call some of the guys and get this place cleaned up."Jace instructed over his shoulder. I heard Jimmy's footsteps retreat down the hall, leaving me alone with Jace. He crouched down in front of me and reached out to pinch my chin between his thumb and forefinger, turning it so I was forced to look at him. I dragged my eyes away from the spot on the floor I had been focusing on and stared at him blankly.

"You can't keep doing this, B." He sighed, dropping his hand and letting it hang between his knees with his other hand.

"Did you know that I can't actually remember the last time I told him that I loved him?" I stated, dropping my gaze to my hands that were wringing themselves together. Jace let out a sigh and moved forward so he was sat beside me.