Part two

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I started the morning with the usual calls. Last night's dinner was amazing. Better than I thought it'd be. Luckily it's all table d' hoté. Yeah, these strange french words I've learned for Julie and Julia. Table d' hoté is a list of the food and drink you will get. A la carté is the opposite. It's a listfrom which you can choose. Yeah...french.

"Meryl!" I stop on my way out when Colin called me.

"Colin?"

"We never had a chance to talk properly. How are you feeling about this movie?" He asked walking next to me. I put my arm in his walking on.

"Nervous." I giggled selfishly and look at him. "And you?"

"Glad to be working with you." He chuckled so brightly. No wonder his surname is Bright in the movie. "Although we only have two or three scenes together."

"Yeah that sucks." I giggled as we came outside and starting walking along the way. "So, where are you going?"

"With you. Where are you going?"

"Beach." I replied with a giggle. He give me an odd look. I just feels like crying and maybe that's what he saw in me.

"Meryl?"

I stop and look at him that also looked at me a bit concerned. He's worried. I look down when I started crying. How do I pull this off.

"What am I doing Colin?" I cried looking at him before he pulled me into his embrace. "The man is taken. He has a child with that woman. Why do I always loose in this stupid life."

"You didn't fall Meryl. You got four beautiful children with this man. He just...it's his fault that he lost you. Not yours." He comforted me. Well, it's true. That's why Don and I broke up. He's got a child with another woman who's name I don't even remember. I don't even know the child. Basically the woman wanted a child and Don volunteered to help her. Sometimes I doubt that he's the father since I've seen a photo or two. He basically did it without talking to me about it. His excuse was that I wouldn't like it and he right about that. I don't want some other woman carrying my husband's child. That child is probably fourteen or fifteen by now. That's how long I've been single. "Don't let this upset you Meryl. Just be happy and show him how you've blossomed."

"Thank you Colin." I thanked looking up at him. "I wasn't actually going to the beach. I was about to get into position cause we're filming the first part of Sophie, honey honey and that type of things. I should probably go. Sorry for the tears."

"Meryl, my lips are sealed. But don't apologise crying infront of anyone, okay? Sometimes we all need to get rid of those emotions. I'm glad that you shared them with me." Colin gave a little smile afterwards. I smile back at him before I left off. Gosh, I feel so much better now.

Colin is right though. I shouldn't let him get to me in this way. He has no right to let me show him my true colours after what he has done to me.

Each day filming a scene over and over again had brought up some new ideas in my head. They film atleast tree to thirteen scenes of one scene before deciding which scene to use. Well, I just have a way of gambling with the way I say it and how I say it. It's called logic.

I put a nice dress on and grab shoes. The dress hungs to my knees and the shoes are flat and casual. It's a black dress though. Tomorrow we'll be shooting where I sing Mamma Mia. How will I even pull that off?

I walk up to the cast that sat around table waiting. We aren't sitting with the directors and so on. There's just not enough space for all of us. The only space is between Don and Amanda. Well, as long as Amanda is there I have a reason to sit there.

"Oh hey mom." She giggled looking at me when I touched he shoulder taking a seat next to her.

"Hi baby girl." I greeted her back with a kiss and a hug. She's a sweet girl and reminds me a lot about my younger self. Gosh I already love her as my own.

"So, how is it going with the children?" Stellan asked me. Well, here we go. A topic of something better and more interesting.

"Alright. I'm still wondering when I'll become a grandmother." I smiled sitting back in my seat.

"No! You're too damn sexy for that!" Dominic shouted. A laughter burst down around table. Well, a laughter that kind of made me feel a little weird of course.

"Thank you Dominic. I'm sure you Amanda feel the same way about you too." I took my glass of wine drinking a bit before looking at Colin that gave me a sweet smile. I feel so...happy for some reason.

"So, how is it going with the child?" Stellan asked Don. We all look at hkm including me. I seriously don't feel anything at all about that anymore. It's his life and his choices, not mine.

"What child?"

"The one you volunteered to have." Colin raised an eyebrow. For a split second Don looked down then back at us.

"Oh, probably alright. I'm not part of the child's life any more." He told us and look down again. What? How couldn't he be part of that child's life? That child didn't do anything wrong, did it?

"Why not?" I caught myself unguarded. Well, sometimes I just can't stop my mouth, can I? Honestly, there is nothing wrong with asking questions, is there?

"That woman had three other men believing it's their child. When we took tests, it was mine. She never even accepted my DNA for the child so, screw her." He replied looking around then back at me. I don't know how to feel about this? Happy or sorry?

"I'm sorry." I told him and look at Amanda that touched my hair.

"I loved the way your hair were in The House Of Spirits though. You looked really pretty there. That's why I grew mine." She smiled at me. I gave her a smile kissing her on the front head. Well, I'm a loving person and care a lot or maybe too much but that's the things about me.

"My favourite movie of her is She devil. I just...I loved it." Dominic smiled putting his arm around Amanda's shoulder which seriously made me forgot what it's like being touched or held by Don. Oh well, no more wondering. I look next to me at Don that fixed my bra strap for me. He use to do it a lot back then.

"My favourite movie is The River Wild. My gosh, this woman can amaze anyone." I heard Don mumble that fix the dress when he was finished fixing my strap. I pull in my lips with a smile lookig at Don that placed his hand on my leg looking back around the table after sending me a wink. I can't help but wondering what it'd be like to even have him touch me more than this. Do I deserve this? I do, but he don't.

I want to take his hand off my leg but my body won't allow me. What if someone sees us?

"True." There was some laughter around table. I got this tingly feeling inside of me, not butterflies. I put my legs tight together puting the one over another but his hand still didn't move. Well, where will this leads us to? Nowhere and I'll make sure of that.

Like regularly, we went to our rooms together. Usually we would just walk in quiet till one of us starts to speak but tonight is...different.

"So, would you like to come swim with me tomorrow night?" Don asked walking next to me. We're almost at our rooms. "I won't drown you, I promise."

"After dinner?" I asked with a giggle. "I didn't put in my bathing suit Donald."

"Well, swim in shorts, a dress or whatever." He laughed touching my back when we came infront of his room. The thing is, since we broke up I started calling him on his full name. It's my way of not letting him break down the barriers that I've put up these last past years. I guess that's what me and Donna Sheridan has in common.

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