Silent Or Talk

Average Adela

Adela POV

I smiled and waved at Kristine, my new friend, as we walked in opposite directions.

She was cool, but was close to figuring out what I do to myself.

Let me clarify.

I don't eat, that much anyway, I cut, and don't speak. I don't talk because it shows emotion, and people will see my pain. They'll find out what I do to myself.

That's one risk not worth taking.

Both my parents are in the hospital. They're both dying but refuse to admit it. I live with my sister, Lia, who's a year older than me. She also refuses to socialize with me at school.

I walked down the street, my frown back in place. I rarely smile, there's no reason to.

I started to feel a little nauseous, so I started to drink water from my water bottle. I should've eaten at lunch, but I only eat at home when Lia is watching me.

I crossed my arms and kept my head down on the walk home.

Halfway, Lia met up with me and we fell into step. I looked at her and smiled slightly.

"Hey Ade."

I put my hand up partially and kept walking.

"How was school?"

I shrugged.

"Did you meet the new girl?"

I nodded.

"Did she bother you?"

I shook my head.

"Oh. Are you two friends? I saw you guys talking."

I grinned and nodded again.

"Wow sis, didn't think you had it in ya."

I glared at my not-so-discreet sister. The rest of the walk went by in silence.

At home, I went up to my room and worked on my homework.

When I finished, I texted Kristine.

Me: Hey

Kristy: Hey

Me: U finish ur hw?

Kristy: ......

Me: Finish ur hw, then we can talk

Kristy: The struggles tho

Me: Go

I heard Lia call me down for dinner. I put my phone in my jeans pocket and went down for dinner.

We ate in silence. Well, of course, I mean if I don't talk and all.

Lia cleared her throat, snapping me out of my thoughts. I cocked my head to the side as if to ask what.

"I just wanted to know if you finished your homework." I nodded and stood up.

I washed what I used and went back up to my room. It wasn't too late, so I was going to visit my parents.

I wrote a note and left it taped to the fridge.

I walked all the way to the hospital and went straight into my parents room. I come here so often that they don't need to ask for identification.

I sat in the chair in the middle of my mom and dad's beds. I started to sob silently and my parents remained asleep, oblivious to their visitor.

It's not usually like this. Sometimes they're awake.

I looked up as their doctor walked in. He glanced between mom, me, and dad.

"They're going to live Adela. Don't worry. They'll be okay." He reassured. I knew they were. They got the treatments and were getting better.

But that's not why I cry every time.

I cry because I know they won't be proud to call me their daughter. They will hate to see their innocent little girl, cutting and barely eating.

I'm hanging on a thin line.

I wiped my tears held both of their hands.

***

I have to leave the hospital. I can't stay any longer.

I kissed both mom and dad on the forehead and started back home.

When I got back, I saw that Lia was fast asleep in her room.

I went into my room and picked up the pocket knife hidden in my drawers.

I locked myself in the bathroom and pushed the knife into my arm. I watched the blood for a minute, then put a tissue on it.

It never hurts. It feels like I've let out all my suppressed screams.

I continued to cut my arms for half an hour. It's a wonder I haven't died from blood loss.

I showered and went to my room. It was 11:46, not so late. Lia just goes to sleep early because while I'm out in the hospital, she's working.

Well, she works as a waitress (nope, not Starbucks) at a family diner 2 blocks away on weekdays and I work at a bakery, making the deserts of course, on weekends. These are our temporary jobs.

I played White Tiles on my phone until midnight and fell asleep.