Stealing The Show (Such Sweet Sorrow Trilogy, Book One)

9

"I just got fired," he says. 

"What?" 

"I was supposed to be here an hour ago." He leans across me to the window. "Hey, Robby. I just got fired. Can you comp these CCF's for us?" 

"Damn the man," says Robby, whoever he is. He hands us a big bag full of grease and says, "Sayonara, Shoe. Sorry." We drive off without having to pay. Then I go to the park and we eat the fries. We get chili and nacho cheese all over our fingers and it's disgusting, but we don't care. It makes us feel better, even if just for a minute, to jam shitty food into our faces.  

When I can't eat anymore, I sit back and sigh. Shoe keeps eating. 

"Well that's it," I say. "I can't make the trip. It's over." 

Shoe makes a noise like a protest and a question, but his mouth is full. "MMpffrh Phufh?" 

"I don't know what I was thinking. I can't spread the ashes if there are no ashes to spread. I shouldn't have wasted any of that money getting Eeyore worked on or thinking about it. This whole thing is just stupid. I don't know what I thought I was going to do. Who would ever let me just take a dumbass road trip to California?" 

Shoe swallows. "Paps would've let you." 

"And where is Paps?" Shoe just looks at the fries. "Anyway, it's a relief that I can't go. I didn't want to do it. It would've sucked." 

"Sucked HOW?" he asks. He thinks this is the greatest adventure we could imagine, even if it is totally morbid. 

"You don't get it," I say. It's my whole theory with words again. I can't explain why I don't want to--even though I know that it's mostly me that is keeping me from going. My jealousy that makes me have to stay near Jubilee.  

That, and the lack of having the ashes, which makes for an awesome excuse.  

I can't help wondering what I'd be doing if our dumbass little play had actually worked and we had his ashes. Would I still be pussing out? There's part of me that thinks I would, even though I don't want to admit to it.  

"I do get it. We need those ashes. Paps, man. I don't know. Why didn't he set you up with them to make this easier?" 

"This shouldn't be easy," I say. 

"Sorry, sorry. Okay, dude, you gotta drive me back to school. I just realized, I have to get these things back into the janitor closet before the morning. I already got almost arrested by the clergyman bouncer guy, and I got fired. I'm on some kind of streak. Better not push it." 

We get to school and I park. He gets out and tells me to just go home. "I got this. You go figure out how to get those ashes," he says. 

~~~

But I don't go home. I go see Jubilee.  

I send her a text: "You around?" 

"@ Home. Come over?"  

My heart thumps and I put Eeyore into gear. I can tell that she's annoyed with me for how I'm acting. And it's totally legit. It hasn't been my most shining moment since Paps died. And now that I can't make the trip to dump his ashes out, maybe I can explain everything.  

Because I have to try and make it right with her, or as right as I can, anyway. That's what you do when you're completely, insanely, deep-shit in love. 

So, being in love sucks. That's the best theory I can come up with in the time between leaving school and pulling up at her house. 

The Count answers the door. "Hello there, Lewis. How have you been?"