Something I Can't Have

~10~

Mark felt relieved that the members were on his side, but at the same time, he was sad that Rina was stuck at home all by herself, eating alone. It almost felt like she was being punished... for something she didn't even do.

Manager Kim coughed. "If we're all finished, let's head home. Mark, you're scheduled to have some lyric writing time for an hour or so tonight, but if you're not feeling up to it, then you don't have to worry about it."

"I'm fine. I'll do it." Mark stood up. "I think we're done here. I'll be waiting in the van."

"Is he alright?" Manager Kim leaned over and asked Ten.

"I think he misses Rina. They're really close. Rina's his inspiration. That's why you saw the performance he gave today. It's because of Rina."

Manager Kim sighed and stood up. "I'm headed back to my apartment, but text me when you boys get home. And, um, take care of Mark."

The others quickly packed up some food for Rina and got back into the vans, ready to console Mark. They found him in the last row, whispering something to himself.

"What are you doing?" Haechan asked.

"Uhhhhh... practicing? Never mind. Let's go to the dorms."

Rina was surprised when NCT walked in and surrounded her. She was in the middle of eating instant ramen, and now here they were placing all this delicious food in front of her.

"Wow, you really didn't have to. This ramen would have been enough for me," she laughed. "But thank you for thinking of me."

Ten sat down across from her. "Eat up. Then you have to go with Mark to help him write lyrics."

"He needs help?" Rina asked with a mouth full of bibimbap.

"No. But you should go."

Rina raised an eyebrow in confusion, but she finished eating quickly. "Mark!" she called, and Mark's face lit up. "Let's go write some lyrics. It's on the schedule. Are you sure you can handle it, though? You've had a tiring day."

"I think I can," he grinned. "Let's go."

The night was a little warmer than usual, and Rina felt happy but a little scared at the same time- scared of being happy. She wasn't supposed to be feeling happy when she was with Mark. But she couldn't help it.

And Mark was glad he could finally see Rina after such a long and tiring day. He realized he hadn't really spoken to her since last night. They walked into the studio, and Mark took a seat in the chair right in front of the computer.

"Looks like the other chair was taken out," Mark commented, and he laughed when he saw her reclined on the sofa by the window. "And I see you've found a new spot."

"I have," Rina giggled. "Carry on with your work, but totally call me if you need me."

Mark nodded and put his large headphones on. He had worked on the beat a little with Henry, and he wanted to rewrite some of the lyrics for a song. Mark turned around to ask Rina something, but she was fast asleep on the sofa. She looked so peaceful and cute sleeping. He really wanted to take a picture, but he also didn't want to violate her privacy like that. He was much better than that.

Almost as if she could hear his thoughts, she stirred in her sleep before her eyes fluttered open, and she met his gaze. "Oh, did you need something?" she asked.

"Uh, yea. Can you listen to this beat for me? I just want to know if it sounds okay."

"It probably does, but I'll check it out for you." She stumbled over, still trying to wake up. Mark placed the headphones over her ears and hit the play button on the computer. She had heard this track before, but suddenly the beat dropped, and it was definitely much stronger than what she remembered. It surprised her so much that she stumbled... right into Mark's lap.

Her cheeks flushed pink, and she tried to get up, but Mark wrapped one arm around her waist, holding her in place. He used his free hand to take off the headphones and push her hair behind her ears.

"Rina, you're so cute," Mark smiled. It was his first time seeing her this close, and he could almost see his whole face in her eyes. "And I really like you." He expected her to smile and laugh, but instead, her expression grew dark and stormy.

"Mark, you can't like me. I was given three rules if I wanted to work for you and NCT. Rule number one," Rina paused when Mark kissed her forehead, "I must do what the members ask of me within reason. Rule number two," she stopped again as Mark kissed her nose, "I will treat each member with respect." Mark stopped and glanced at her eyes which glistened with tears. "Rule number three-"

Mark placed his lips on her soft ones, gently kissing her. Rina wanted to resist, but she couldn't. Everything in her body felt weak, and a tear fell onto her hand. She kissed him back, letting herself get lost in the moment. She had never dated before. She hadn't had the time nor interest. Her friends had always told her what a first kiss felt like. Mark, too, had asked his members here and there what a kiss felt like, and finally, he was able to put it into words.

It felt like fireworks exploding all over his body. He felt all warm and fuzzy inside. His heart thumped rapidly in his chest, yet he felt calm and confident. His lips tingled with the sensation of Rina's moving against his. He felt her eyelashes tickle his cheek, and he smiled for a second. She smelled like fresh vanilla, and her cheeks were flushed a deep shade of pink, and it made Mark kind of happy that he was the reason she looked like a cherry bomb. He ran his fingers through her hair and leaned her head against his chest, but Rina sat up, staring him straight in the eye.

"Rule number three," she repeated, "I will not romantically like any of the NCT members." Another tear plopped onto her hand.

Rina sighed, taking another glance at Mark, and saw his expression go blank and his eyes glaze over. He was staring at something beyond her. She turned around and scrambled to her feet, bowing a perfect ninety-degree angle. It was the same bow Mark had presented her with when he was introducing himself for the first time.

Manager Kim stepped forward, a sympathetic look in his eyes. "Song Rina, you knew the rules. I'm sorry to say this, but you're fired."

Rina looked down at the floor, taking another bow. "Yes, Manager Kim. I'm so sorry. I'll move out immediately."

"You can stay with Red Velvet tonight, but please make arrangements from tomorrow onwards."

Rina bowed and ran out. Mark could feel her sobbing even though he couldn't see it. He stood up to face Manager Kim.

"It was my fault. I kissed her. She didn't tell me the conditions she was working under." Mark hated himself. Rina was gone and farther from her dream than ever... just because of him.

"I knew this would happen," Manager Kim spoke slowly. "You were like this from the beginning. Always looking for something you can't have."