Catnip

03 | In Which Caleb Makes a Deal With the Devil

What the hell?

(Caleb is not jealous of Daniel's ability to turn the killer cat peaceful, not at all. Honest.)

She licks him and Daniel laughs, so at ease around the animal that's kept Caleb on edge for over two days.

"Stop, Angie, stop!" he cries, but he's still grinning.

"Her name's not Angie," Caleb says, regretting telling him about that. "And how did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"You know what."

Daniel shrugs and scoops the cat up in his arms. She leans into him, and even from across the room Caleb can hear her purring. (She never purrs when he's around.) "I just let her know I wasn't scared," Daniel says, as if it's that simple. "They can sense how you're feeling, you know. Pretty cool, huh?"

No, Caleb thinks. Not cool in the slightest; probably just bullshit you've made up. But he doesn't voice his assumptions. No point, really: Daniel's preoccupied with talking to whatshername, clearly a lost cause.

"You want a drink or something?" Caleb asks.

"Uh, sure. Water's fine."

"Yeah? 'Cause we have Pepsi in the fridge –"

"I like water. Honestly."

So Daniel's a health freak, figures. Considering how the guy munched on homemade pasta and yoghurt and freaky looking fruits at lunch, it should've been obvious.

Caleb pours him a glass (and, of course, pours himself a glass of sugar-infested Pepsi) and then turns around. Daniel's followed the cat out to the hallway and now they're playing around on the stairwell – whatshername jumping from step to step, poking her head and paws out the gaps between the poles in an attempt to reach Daniel, who continuously pulls away. For a moment Caleb stands and watches, too intrigued by their interaction to join in. He would've bet his entire college fund that Daniel wasn't capable of even faking confidence, but now, alone with a cat and unaware he has an audience, he almost seems at home.

Crazy shit, that.

Caleb hands him the water and he smiles. "Thanks," he says, eyes straying to the cat again. "What'd you think? She's adorable, huh?"

"Hardly."

"You're saying that now. You won't be saying that in a coupla months' time."

"Trust me, I will."

Daniel shakes his head. "You'll learn to love her, guaranteed. I'd bet my life on it."

"Then let's make it a bet," Caleb suggests, lips twisting at the corners.

He expects Daniel to back down, laugh the idea off, but the guy nods and says, "Sure, why not?" and Caleb has to give him credit. "If you're still cold as hell and completely unmoved by how cute she is by the end of the school year, I'll turn up to prom in my zombie groom costume."

"Zombie groom costume? You have a zombie groom costume?"

"You know. From Halloween last year. Britt was gonna go as the corpse bride so I figured we could make it a thing, like a couple thing, you know? But then she kinda changed her mind but I'd already planned it all out so, uh, I just went with it! And we didn't really match but Marnie was impressed, and you know how much it takes to impress her, so, uh, yeah. . ."

"Wow," Caleb says. "I'm actually in shock. I just figured you went as a Care Bear every year."

"A care bear!" Daniel's eyes light up with glee. "Honestly? That's kinda creepy."

"Well then Captain America or some shit. I don't know!" Caleb says. "But, anyway, there's no hope in hell Britt's gonna let you take her to senior prom dressed as a rotting corpse," he points out. "They won't even let you attend senior prom dressed as a rotting corpse."

"Oh, I'll find a way."

He scoffs. Which is to say, very unlikely. "Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see you humiliate yourself in front of the full senior class, but I won't be there to record it for future blackmailing purposes so –"

"You're not going?"

"'Course not. It's a waste of time." Not to mention a waste of money. "Why are you going?"

"I don't know. It's a rite of passage, I guess. You've gotta make the most of life while it lasts, right?"

"I'm gonna throw up."

Daniel's smile widens. "Okay, okay, I'm kidding. But it's still not so bad. I bet you'd even have fun if you dropped your anti-establishment front for the day."

"Who said it's a front?"

"In fact, I've got it! When I win this bet and you fall for Angie's cuteness, you have to go to prom. That's your forfeit."

"That's ridiculous."

"Not as ridiculous as turning up dressed like the corpse groom."

"Fine, I'll shake on it." There's no need to panic or take precautions, because it's pretty obvious he's going to win. Why? Because he's Caleb fucking Diaz and logic's on his side, and once a cat hater, always a cat hater is about as logical a conclusion as one can make.

Out the corner of his eye, he spots whatshername watching him from her perch on the bottom step. She lopes toward him and he tenses, waiting for the claws to come out. But rather than attack him, she nuzzles her nose against his leg and purrs. He leans down and pets her in an attempt to keep her calm.

"Look at that," Daniel says. "You're already making progress!"

"Progress, my ass," Caleb mutters, because he absolutely, positively does not feel anything for her, not even when she's playing nice.

Honest.