Supernatural Imagines

First Night After Dean Goes To Hell (Sam x Reader)

Sam, Bobby, and I went back to Bobby's house after we lost Dean tonight. It was dead silent on the ride home, everyone was trying to cope with it in whatever way they knew how to. Sam, my boyfriend since I started running with the Winchester's, was utterly devastated. He just looked out the window with tears running down his face, one after the other, they never stopped. He looked completely broken, and I wanted so badly to comfort him but I knew I couldn't do much. He just lost his brother, one of the few people he truly loved in this world. I was hurting too, Dean was like my overprotective older brother, especially after Sammy and I became exclusive. I was still numb about it though, and I couldn't even dare compare my pain to what Sam and Bobby were going through. Sam just lost a brother, and Bobby just lost a son, and there was absolutely nothing I could do. Nothing to make the pain ever subside.

After about an hour of the silent and painful car ride we made it to Bobby's. Sam got out of the car fast, and I followed. When I caught up behind him I grabbed his hand trying to show a sign of love and affection, he needed it. He turned around, but he didn't look like himself at all. He was trying to hold back sobs, he was shaking, he looked entirely broken. I couldn't decipher the look inside his beautiful green eyes, he looked sad, angry, broken, just miserable. He pulled his hand out of my hold and held it up to my cheek. I let a few tears slip out of my eyes as he stayed still for a few moments. We exchanged no words, there wasn't a need to. After dating for as long as we had we knew exactly what the other one was thinking without words. The look in both of our eyes was saying 'I love you, I'm just hurting.' With that we both walked away, needing our own time to grieve alone. Sam, Bobby, and I all had our own way of dealing with it.

I made a beeline for Bobby's shower when I got inside, I could really be alone for a couple minutes in there, which is exactly what I needed. I stripped my clothes and stepped into the shower, allowing the warm water to relax me slightly. I was finally really alone now, and I began to let the tears fall. Sooner rather than later I was yelling and sobbing on the shower floor. That's what I loved about the shower, it has the ability to drown out my cries of anguish and pain. Dean was like my brother, I'm gonna miss him so much. Never hearing his sarcastic remarks, never seeing his stupid yet loveable facial expressions, never having him around to lighten the mood, things will never be the same again. Eventually, the water began to run cold and I got out. My thoughts went to my Sammy, it's been almost an hour I needed to go find him and check on him.

Bobby said that Sam was in our shared bedroom, so I made my way up there. As I got closer to the room I heard screams and extremely loud cries. My heart shattered at the sound, I couldn't imagine the pain he was in. I slowed my footsteps as I got closer and gently pushed the door open. The sight was heartbreaking, Sammy had puffy and red eyes, tear stained cheeks, and was laying on his side shaking as he held an old photo of Dean. "Oh Sam, baby," I spoke softly and made my way over to him. He looked up at me and said the first words I heard him say in hours. "Stay please," his voice was weak and hoarse, it was painful for me to hear. I nodded I couldn't leave him like that. I laid down next to him and he immediately crawled over to me. He laid his head on my chest and my arm protective wrapped around him, it felt strange. He had always been the one to hold me, but right now I couldn't be happier to do it for him. My fingernails started mindlessly rubbing up and down his arm, in an attempt to comfort him.  

Minutes passed, and I felt my shirt growing wet with his tears, but I didn't care. "I love you," Sam whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear him. "I love you more Sam," I replied. "Try and get some rest baby, you need it." He nodded and not ten minutes later I heard his faint snores, the poor thing was exhausted. I laid my head back on the pillow and cried now that he was asleep. I felt obliged to be strong for my Sam, he was always there for me, it was time the roles switched. After I wasted all my tears, I fell asleep with Sam cuddled up right next to me. We had been through a lot together, and now after Dean's death I made myself a promise. I would never leave Sam Winchester unless he ordered me away. I loved him and he deserved to be protected, loved, and cared for.