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Chapter 7

So, there we were, sitting in the middle of the deserted hallway on the cold, tile floor with envelopes in hand. A new chapter of our lives written in simple black ink on the pages before us. I shuffled through the other sheets as I read over the traveling plans and list of supplies to pack. I swallowed heavily, not wanting Emma to notice my nervousness. This opportunity used to be words on a computer screen, but, now, it was a reality. I was going to London. I would be there for quite some time to explore and learn about a new culture. Don't get me wrong, I loved to travel, but there was something about going overseas that made me apprehensive. 

"London is a beautiful city, Lizzie. My cousin lives there currently, and when I went to visit her a few years ago I didn't want to leave!" she said as she helped me get up off the floor. 

"I know it's beautiful. I've seen plenty of pictures," I replied, dusting the dirt off of my pants. 

"Pictures do not do it justice. There is an incredible feeling that washes over you that you can only experience by actually being there. You'll feel it the moment you walk down some of those old cobblestone streets," she said. I pushed the anxious feeling in my throat back, and attempted to change the subject.

"Well what about you? Are you excited about going to Belgium?" I asked her as we started walking down the hall. 

"I suppose I will be once I find out more about it. You don't really hear much about it except for what's in books. Do they have Belgium waffles? she asked after a moment of pausing.

If there was one thing I had learned about Emma throughout all these years, it was that she wasn't afraid of anything, or doing anything for that matter. She could travel anywhere in the world and appear as though she had lived there for years. I was always envious of her abilities to be social and adjust so easily to new environments. Change was difficult for me, definitely not one of my strong suits. 

As the day passed on, I found myself constantly thinking of this trip. I still had time. Three weeks to be exact.I had plenty of time to think of details and exactly what I would need, but I was still focusing on small things that had no reason to be decided just yet. The moment I walked in the front door of my house that afternoon, I could hear my mother running down the stairs to greet me.

"Did you get it?" she asked as she wiped her hands on the dish towel beside the sink. Her hands were covered in paint, most likely from the renovations she had been doing to her master bathroom.

"Well, hello to you as well!" I said with a smile as I pulled the envelope out of my bag and handed it to her.

"I'm sorry, dear. Hello. I've just been so curious all day," she said as she took the packet of papers out. Her mouth formed into a smile as soon as she eyed my destination on the piece of paper.

"Oh, honey! You will adore London! You will never be bored while you are there. The restaurants and shopping and sights are exquisite," she said as she put the papers down on the counter. "I am so proud of you!"

"Thanks, Mom."

"I know you well enough by now to tell when something is bothering you. What's wrong? You were so excited about this a few months ago and now you act as if you don't even want to go." She led me over to the couch where we plopped down and snuggled up next to each other. 

"I'm more nervous than anything else. I've never been away that long, much less have I traveled to the other side of the world either. I just don't know what's going to happen," I expressed. She sighed and rubbed my back as she found her words. 

"Honey no change is ever easy for you, and this is going to be a big one no doubt about that, but you have to learn to look on the positive side of things. You were meant to be given this opportunity for whatever reason that may be. Everything happens for a reason, and it will all work out as it is meant to. So, stop stressing and overthinking and try to be excited about this," she said. 

"You always know what to say, Mom. What would I ever do without you," I laughed. 

"Your life would be very boring," she replied. "When are you supposed to leave?"

"Three weeks. The second week of summer in other words," I told her.

"You have time to get yourself together. Remember...no stress," she repeated. 

That amount of time was not enough time for me. Our last drama production of the year, end of year parties, and exams crept up on us with no hesitation. When it was all over, Emma and I spent the first week preparing for our trip, from buying clothes to cosmetics to bedroom supplies. If you could think of it, we needed it. 

Now, our flight left in two days, and with three large suitcases laying open on my bedroom floor, I packed up most things in my room.

"Knock, knock! Can I come in?" my dad said as he slightly opened my closed bedroom door.

"Yeah, come on in, Dad," I said as I hopped up on my bed and looked over my checklist once more.

"Are you alright there, half pint? These past few days you have seemed a little down in the dumps," he said. My dad loved his little nicknames for me, but his favorite was to call me half pint. This particular name originated from the father-daughter relationship between Charles and Laura Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie, a show we would watch together every Friday night before I would go to bed. 

"I'm alright. Just a little nervous and overwhelmed for this trip," I said as I marked 'paper and pens' off of my list.

"Why are you nervous?" he asked as he sat down on the bed beside me.

"Mom and I talked about some of it. First of all, this is the first trip Emma and I won't be together. I'm not going to know anyone there or even know how to get around. Secondly, you know how I am about any type of change, and lastly I just don't know if I can handle being away that long," I explained.

"I think this is your chance to come out of that protective shell of yours. You are right, no one will know you, and because of that you can be that social and confident butterfly you have always desired to be. Try to branch out and take the risk of getting to know new people and going to new places. This is your opportunity to be who you want to be and enjoy it, but that being said, don't stray from your true self either," he said as he sat down beside me put his arm around me.

"Wow..that was actually wise advice," I said as I leaned my head on his shoulder and chuckled. "In all seriousness, Dad, I will do my best. Thank you for always being here for me." 

"That's all I ask. Now, you better finish packing up. You'll always be my little half pint," he said. He kissed my head and patted my knee before leaving the room. I sighed, taking everything he had said into consideration, but realizing I needed to get this packing done as soon as possible. 

When I got up, I knocked some papers off of my nightstand. As I bent down to pick them up, I found the slippery paper of a magazine. It was my face that was on the cover. This had only been a few weeks old, but the embarrassment still stung.  A tear started to drip down my face as I saw the obvious lie in front of me, that, by now, had reached hundreds of people. I went out onto my balcony, still holding the magazine in my hand. I looked out into the yard and up at the shining stars that lit up the sky, and immediately thought of Lucas. I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss spending time with him. He was funny, and an overall kind person. I enjoyed spending that little portion of time with him.

"Maybe this will be good for me," I said to myself as I thought about the trip at hand. It would be a new place, where, as my father said, no one knew me. No one would know about my embarrassing cover photo that defined part of my high school career. It was a chance to start over and become a confident and outgoing person for a few weeks. I went back inside and put the magazine in the trash, ready to continue packing and get on that plane.