𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒

The beginning

3 / 3

- M I K E -

I hear arguing and then my eyes are open, it's all blurry at first.
My throat and my chest hurt.
They burn.

I lived.

I start to cough as the fire in my chest gets more and more intense.
Damn it I should've just drowned like I planned.

Everyone stops and looks at me.
I feel El's hand holding onto mine. I look at her first. Why did I do this to her?
Then I look at Will. Why did I do this to him?
Then to Dustin. Why to him?
Then to Lucas. Why him?
Then Max. Why her?
Lacy. Why her?

I
F e e l
A s
T h o u g h
I m
N o t
E n o u g h

" MIKE! " I hear everyone except El scream.
They all look so relieved. So....glad ?
They're actually happy I'm still here?
They all run over and hug me.

El doesn't move.
She looks broken.
Damaged.
Because of me.
Her hand still holds onto mine.

I know she loves me.
She tells me every day.
I've heard so many times all the reasons she loves me, each time she says them, more and more appear.
I know what I mean to her.
I know.
But I just don't feel it. I don't feel how I should. I have a perfect girl who loves me with her whole heart yet I just don't feel it, don't believe it.

Everyone lets go of me. They still surround me.
" Mike. " I hear Will say weakly. I look at him.
" I'm so damn happy you're okay. " He smiles a little at me.
" We all are. " Max says. Max. Wow. She really cares that much? No. She can't.
She's probably just saying that to sound nice.
People do NOT care this much about me.

I look up at everyone and notice Lacy isn't in the room anymore.

We all start to talk. Everyone saying how grateful they are that I'm okay.
This doesn't even seem real.

After a few minutes Lacy walks back in.
" Good news Wheeler, you get to leave this place tomorrow. " She smiled a little at me. 
" Cool. " I replied, actually relieved I get to leave. This bed is rock solid and it's way too cold in this room.

After some talking, everyone decided to leave because there were only about five minutes left for visiting hours.
We said goodbye.

But El stayed.

- ELEVEN -

" Mike...why? " I asked.
Now was my time to find out. I have to know.
He turned a little and looked at me.
I brushed my fingers through his hair and rested my hand on the side of his face.
" Why did you try to leave me? " I asked again, my voice hoarse and tears forming in my eyes again.
Mike didn't respond. I put my hand down yet still held his with the other.
" Please....just tell me.  I need to know.
Why?
          Why? 
                    Why? " I kept asking.
" El please "
" Please what, Mike? Please stop asking why you tried to kill yourself when you have tons of people who love you? El please, stop wondering why you aren't good enough to even be there for the person you love most when he needs you?
Please what? "
" Just fucking stop! " He yelled, pulling his hand away from mine.
I sat back. I overstepped my boundaries. This is why.
This is why.
I'm a screw up. I'm not good enough for him. I just pushed him further off the edge.
Stop.
Breathe in, breathe out.
It calms my breathing but can't stop the faucet in my eyes.

" El no...please don't cry. I-I didn't mean to snap at you! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. "
" No, I'm sorry. "
Mike sighed. He lifted his hand to my face and wiped my tears away.

" I'm going to tell you why I did it. Okay? But just promise me you won't cry. "
" I can't promise you I won't, but I'll promise you that I'm going to try. "
He nodded and said " Thank you. "
" I...I jumped off of that cliff because I just didn't feel like I was enough. I still don't honestly. I feel like I'm not enough and that scares me. It eats away at me. I can't believe that people truly care about me. I can't believe because...because I'm just a fucking screw up! I'm a mess. A tragic and terrible mess and I don't deserve all the love and support I get. So I block it out. How can I know if it's real? How can I know in my heart that people truly care about me when I don't even care about myself? It's true, I don't care about myself El. I. Don't. Fucking. Care. I felt as though death was my only way out from the endless self hate and worthless feeling. "
I didn't cry.
I didn't say anything except " You are more than enough. You're the only reason I'm still alive. " sadly before walking away.

- M I K E -
the next day

Lucas drove me home from the hospital.
Me and El have an apartment a few blocks away from my parents' house.
Dustin and Will came in the car with us and we all talked and joked around like normal.
I could tell the effort they were putting in to try and make me feel even a little bit okay.
After hearing what El said to me last night I stayed up thinking about it.
She really does care about me, doesn't she?
And so do my friends and my family.
It's just so hard to wrap my head around though....

- ELEVEN -

I looked out the window as Lucas pulled up in his car with Dustin, Will and Mike.
I'm still extremely upset about what Mike said but I can't help but be happy to see him home again.
After everything, after what he said, after me thinking about it, I've decided that I'm going to give him all the love I can. I'm going to make him feel wanted. I'm going to make sure he knows every single day just how much I love him. Which is like insanely a lot.
Lucas gets out of the car along with Mike and I watch as they hug, say goodbye and Mike walks up to our door. I watch as Lucas gets back in his car and everyone wave goodbye to Mike and then drive away.
Before Mike can get his keys I open the door and pull him in.
I smile at him and hug him really tight.
I feel his arms wrap around me and hold me tighter.
" I missed you. "
" It's hasn't even been a full day. "
" I know " I replied quietly.

- M I K E -
- midnight -

Sleep seems impossible right now.
I can feel the warmth of El's breath on my neck, it's calming, but I can tell she's awake too.
" El "
" Hm? "
" I can't sleep "
" Mike, can I tell you something? "
" Of course "
" You're perfect. "
" What? "
" I said you're perfect. And you know what else? You're worth it. You're so damn worth it. I love you. And I know that sometimes you don't believe me but it will always be true. I love your hair. How soft it is, how it perfectly curls without any effort. I love how dark it is in contrast with your crazily pale complexion. I love your freckles. I love how they stand out. I love how they get my attention. And I love your eyes. I love how I can get lost in them for hours, wasting my whole day away just staring. Seeing my future in your eyes. I love your neck and how perfectly my head fits in the crook of it. I love your collar bones and how defined they are. I love your chest and your lap and how you don't care if I use them as a pillow. I love your arms, long and skinny but strong and gentle at the same time. I love your legs and how like your arms, they're long and skinny but so goddamn strong. You'd walk for hours and hours just to make me happy. Me. How does someone like me get to be with someone like you? Well I think it's fate. I think that you're perfect for me and hopefully I'm perfect for you. I know that your life wasn't meant to end and that's why it didn't. I want you to know that I'm here. Although sometimes it seems like you're all alone, I'm right here. I know it can seem like the world is against you but it isn't. Just try, please try to see the bright side of things. Remember how you saved me from the lab and the disgusting people and monsters there. Remember how you saved my life. Remember how without your care and support and love, I would be nothing. Remember how I would give up everything just to see you smile. Even just once. I swear, your smile could make me forget all my problems. Even for just a few minutes. I would pay to see that goofy side grin! Ugh I just, I love you so much. Every single thing about you. Even your personality is perfect. And I won't let you ever feel as alone as you have felt, ever, ever again. Okay? "
So that's it.
That's how she really feels.
Damn.
" O-Okay. " I replied. Unsure of what to say.
I mean, I knew that El loves me. At least a little.
And she's right, it was hard for me to believe. But now, after I almost left her for good, the fact that she still loves me. Maybe even more than before. The fact that she still sees me as perfect. I just....I can't even explain how amazing it feels.
I pulled her closer to me, kissing her head.
" Do you believe me, Mike? Do you trust me? " She asked, looking up at me.
Of course I do.
" More than ever.
I love you "
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I hope the end to this three part short story makes up for the sadness in the first two parts! Plz tell me what you think of this chapter, I love you all and remember : On Wednesdays We Wear Pink! 💕💕