A Beneficial Friendship {Montgomery De La Cruz}

Twelve (Flashback Chapter)

"So sweetie, we're gonna start being gone a good bit with the business getting up and running now. Are you going to be able to take care of yourself some?" My mom asked me that night once I got home from cheer practice. I was sitting at the kitchen table with her and my dad, staring angrily at my hands resting on the table. "I don't understand why you would start a business with the De La Cruz' of all people." I growled and they both looked at me in shock. "They are wonderful people, Evelyn. They are our friends and now our business partners as well. I'm not sure if you have issues with their son, but that has nothing to do with them." My dad told me sternly and my eyes widened at his tone. He had never been harsh with me but ever since they started the business, everything has changed. I bit the inside of my cheek and looked away with watery eyes. My parents and I used to spend a lot of time together and now... now they were never going to be around. I don't even have a sibling to spend time with. I'm going to be alone constantly. The business is more important to my parents now than I am. I moved my hands off the table and onto my thighs, squeezing them in the process to keep myself from crying. As much as it hurt me though, I don't want to ruin this for my parents. Their success, the thing they truly want in life. I cleared my throat and sucked back all of my tears before looking up at them. "I can take care of myself. I'll be fine." "Are you sure?" My mom asked skeptically since I whispered. I nodded my head and used all of the courage I had inside of me. "I'm sure." I answered more confidently and they both smiled and nodded before pulling me in for a hug. If this is what makes them happy, then I'll just have to learn to be okay with being alone. They've dedicated the past 14 years of their lives to me. Even longer if you count the time that my mom was pregnant with me. I owe it to them to give them this. In the end, the success will benefit me too anyways. I faked a smile and hugged them both back before telling them that I was going to take a shower, do some homework, and head to bed. They both bought into it and let me go, shoving their faces back into more paperwork. "Oh, honey! We almost forgot to tell you! We're going to be gone all weekend. We'll be back Monday morning." My dad called up to me. I yelled back an "okay" and then finished making my way up the staircase. I held it all in until I shut my bathroom door behind me and turned on the shower. As soon as the sound of the shower would tune out noise, I let out a sob. Maybe I'm acting like a big baby, I don't know. All I know for sure, is that I'm going to miss my parents and hate being alone all the time. As I allowed the hot water to soak me, I continued to sob. Sure, I have my friends but... none of them dedicate their time to me like I want... like I need. Call me dependent, but I really need at least just one person to be there for me all the time, whenever I need them, through everything. I love Jessica and she's my best friend but she doesn't have it in her to be that for me. She really is great but I need more. I don't know what kind of more I need but I can feel it inside of me that whatever that more is, would complete me. Maybe I would finally feel normal and actually be happy instead of always faking happy. I sighed and dried up my tears before bathing and getting out once the water was cold. I wrapped myself in a towel and quietly walked to my room, not wanting my parents to hear me and attempt to talk to me. I walked into my room and quietly shut the door behind me. I got dressed in my pajamas and then brushed my hair. I sat down next to my window and pulled out my homework. Once I started on it, I allowed the confusion of chemistry problems to cover up my depressing and lonely thoughts. 

"You're coming to Bryce's party tonight, right?" Justin asked me in our first period class. "Mhmmm." I mumbled with a nod of my head. "Good, you have to. It's his first party ever and everyone is gonna be there..." "I'm aware, Justin. I said I'll be there." I grumbled and he stared at me for a second before chuckling and shaking his head. "What?" I scoffed while staring at him and he chuckled again. "Having sex would get that chip off your shoulder." He said and I immediately rolled my eyes. Here we go again with the sex talk. "I just don't understand what you're waiting on, Evie. It's not that big of a deal." He said with a shrug of his shoulders. "But what if it should be..." "It doesn't have to be." He interrupted me. "Look Eve, everything in life can't always be perfect. One day, you'll find the love of your life and that can be perfect. But for now, just enjoy yourself. You're in high school now, you're a teenager. Live your life. Have fun." He instructed me and I thought about it for a second before timidly nodding my head. "I guess I could just get it over with. I could try to find a cute guy at the party tonight?" "There ya go!" He cheered before smacking me on my arm. I chuckled a little bit before nervously sighing to myself. Was I really going to give into peer pressure like this? I'm just so tired of hearing about it. If I just hurry up and do it, then I won't have to hear people hassling me about it anymore because it'll be done and over with. What does it really matter anyways? It's just my virginity, it's not like it's as sacred as I've been acting like. Clearly no one else values it, so why should I? The odds of me really ending up with the guy that I lose my virginity to are slim to none. Things are different now than they were back when my parents were in high school. They're high school sweet hearts. As much as I wish that would happen for me, it's really rare these days. Maybe I should give up on that fantasy and just go with the flow. "I don't suggest having a hook up with someone that you know though. That can only lead to two places." "Oh yeah? And what are those two places?" I questioned with an eyebrow raised. "The first place is a deep dark place called... awkward." He said with a laugh, breaking up his sentence. I couldn't help but to laugh myself. "And the second place?" I pushed. He leaned in closer to me, so I did too. "An even deeper and darker place called... feelings." He whispered with wide eyes as if it was the most terrifying thing he's ever had to think about before. "Feelings scare you, Justy?" I laughed and he shook his head before smirking at me. "Feelings don't scare me, Eve. They're just something I never want to have." He shrugged his shoulders and I looked at him confused. "Feelings get you nowhere good, Evelyn." He explained and I knew that he was being serious by the use of my full name. I didn't agree with him, but I knew that he obviously truly felt that in his heart. "That's not true. Feelings can lead to a relationship, and love, and marriage, and kids..." "And heartbreak. Horrible, horrible heartbreak. Those feelings that you're talking about, aren't the kind of feelings that you're gonna experience in high school, girl. Not from a teenage guy. Trust me, Evie." He interrupted me and I genuinely felt bad for him that something that could be so beautiful seemed so horrible to him. "Why do you care if I get hurt?" I questioned skeptically and he looked at me like I was crazy. "Because you're one of my best friends. We've been friends since we were in the third grade, before I even became friends with Bryce. I really care about you and I don't wanna see you get hurt." He explained and my heart swelled at his words. I really appreciated hearing that someone genuinely cares about me and my wellbeing. "I care about you too and I don't wanna see you get hurt either." I responded sincerely and he cracked a smile before shaking his head with a smirk. "You don't have to worry about me getting hurt because I'll never catch feelings. As long as you don't turn into a dumb ass and catch feelings yourself, I won't have to worry about you either." I laughed and nodded my head, pretending to agree to never get feelings for anyone just so he'd be satisfied. He gave me a little smile and then went back to work, me following in his footsteps. As I scribbled down notes onto my paper, I couldn't help but to silently wonder what it was going to be like to lose my virginity. Will it hurt? Will it eventually feel good? Will I want to do it again with the same guy? Will I feel an attachment to said guy? Will I have an orgasm or does that not happen until you've done it a few more times? "Don't think about it too much or it won't be any good." Justin interrupted my thoughts. I guess I looked like I was thinking hard. "Oh... I wasn't. I was just concentrating on my work..." "Oh yeah, I'm sure you were." He responded in a sarcastic tone while chuckling. "There's nothing to think about because I'm just gonna go with the flow." Except that there is something to think about considering it's your virginity, stupid. The voice inside my head said as soon as the words came out of my mouth. "You are so damn uptight, Evie. Please go get laid once... hell, maybe even a few times." He laughed and I rolled my eyes before turning my attention back to my work again. "You should..." "Leave it alone, Justin! It's my virginity, not yours." I whisper yelled and he threw his hands up in surrender, just like Bryce does. "You're right about that because I lost my virginity a long time ago..." "Shut up!" I yelled louder this time, causing our classmates and teacher to look towards us. "Miss Gonzalez, Mr. Foley, do you two have something you'd like to share with the class?" The teacher scolded us and Justin smirked and laughed while I vigorously shook my head in embarrassment. I didn't want everyone to know that we were talking about virgin Evie maybe losing her virginity tonight. "You're gonna be so much more pleasant after tonight." Justin whispered with a laugh once everyone turned their attention away from us, causing me to give him the finger. After that, I ignored all of Justin's attempts to talk to me. I was completely over the topic of conversation at this point. I had bigger things to think about anyways. Like the fact that I was actually going to try to find a guy to sleep with tonight. For the first time ever.