FALLEN (NOW PUBLISHED ON AMAZON)

28.

"For fuck's sake, Grace. Isn't it obvious?! "  He lets out, surprising me that he steps on his pride that way. "I am in love with you." 

A gasp leaves my mouth as my heart stops.  

I turn around, completely gobsmacked about what he just said. He loves me? I don't even know how I feel about it. I don't know what to do. So I instinctively walk away without looking back at him.  I walk past my friends, being completely in my head.

What did he think? That saying that would change something? I am not even sure if I believe him... Why would he love me? Why is drama chasing me around? Why did he walk away from me if he is in love with me? How did he know?

I can't wrap my head around it. I walk all the way to our car outside without a single fucking word. My mind is spinning and my heart pounds even faster. At one point, the band calls a taxi and they follow us to the club William has told Cynthia we would meet. I haven't said a word and nobody has talked to me.

This affects me way more than I would like to.  Could he be playing me?  How could he be in love with me?  And so quickly?  He told me himself he didn't know me...

My phone vibrates and I hesitate to look. What if it is Marcel? Do I want it to be him? I peek and see Eddy's name. He wants to know which club we are heading to. I ask for the name to William and text him immediately. William keeps on making small talk and it triggers conversation that makes this whole situation less dramatic and awkward.  I wonder what Ash thinks about this whole situation...  It makes me feel a bit ashamed...  Even my brothers were there.  ARGH!!!!  Why couldn't he have said something when we were in Eddy's room backstage!?

By the time we get to the club, everyone is pumped and in the mood for my round of tequila.  Everybody but me...  The boys join us and I don't even wait for them to say anything or to propose a drinking game that I drink my tequila all at once and I am calling another round. Eddy arrives just in time and I ask for another shot more for him. I walk to him to greet him properly with the ounce of alcohol and he quickly slips a piece of paper in my hand seemlessly. I put it in my rear pocket as I clink our glasses together.

Cynthia offers me a drink before she steals my brother away on the dance floor. Ronnie has already taken care of the other twin. Sophie and the other lads are talking about something and I don't want to impose myself because of everything that happened back at the venue. I wonder how Ash sees me now. I don't want to seem like I am using him. I am not. I really like him, it's just different. But I feel much more at ease to stay behind with Eddy and talk over a nice cold beer.

"You heard right. I left school at fifteen and moved to London. It took a long time, but here I am, touring Europe with my album." He smiles at me before taking a sip of his brown liquid.

"Why is it that I didn't know who you were? You are crazy talented."

"It hasn't always been that way. I worked hard to get where I am today. It took lots of shows at bars, being paid with beers, to be seen by somebody who could give me access to the knowledge and tools I needed to grow even more as an artist."

"When did you start to see yourself as an artist?"

"Good question. Why do you ask me that?" He frowns but keeps a fun smile hanging on his lips.

"I feel like even if my story is getting published, I don't feel at ease to call myself an author or a writer."

"Why?"

"I feel like it's pretentious..."

"It isn't. Why would it be? You are calling it what it is. You are a writer, you write stories. You are an author, you are getting published. It's like you are saying you feel like it's pretentious to call yourself ginger. It isn't, it's what you are."