Missing Pieces

Chapter Six

"I think you two will get along." Carl mumbled, taking Ricks hands in his own. "You both love me and you both want to keep me alive. That's a start." His smile shined brighter than the sun. "Plus, Negan knows how to make things work and you're... you. You know how to make a real society again." He gripped Ricks hands, intertwining their fingers. "Come on, dad. I know it started off bad but-"

"It started off bad with you kidnapping me then bringing me to him like I was some present." Carl flinched at Ricks yelling. "Then he told me how fucking sick he was. Killing your mother figure? After you already lost Shane and your mother? Cutting your eye out and making you eat it? Carl. He is bad. I can be civil if its needed but I..." He shook his head. "I can't lie! I hate him, Carl. Not even because he's twice, maybe almost three times your age, but also because he fucking hurt you!"

"So..." Carl was staring at the ground, his hair falling over his face. "When you said you were happy someone protected me, someone saved me, you were lying?" Carl didn't seem angry with Ricks lies. More sad. The boy hasn't seen his father in eight years and once they meet up one of the first things that happens is he upsets him? It made Carls stomach tie in knots. He played with the hem of the shirt he was wearing, rocking back and forth on his feet like an impatient child.

"You survived. You didn't need him." Rick cupped the back of Carls neck and pulled Carl onto his chest. He kissed the top of his head and held Carl tight. "You saved yourself. You... you don't owe him, Carl." He continued to hold Carl as he spoke. "I understand you think it's love and you think that you're the special one but... Carl, this isn't okay. He's bad. He traumatized you-"

"He made me stronger." Carl tore away from his grip, shaking his head. "He taught me that I can only depend on myself. I love him and he loves me-"

"What about me?" Rick had always been terrified of fighting with Carl. He was scared of Carl hating him during his rebellious phase. Rick never thought that he would be arguing with his son over this. "What about me, Carl? I raised you. I loved you." It felt like he was fighting with Lori, but it felt a million times more painful. Rick focused on keeping his voice calm as he spoke. He cupped Carls cheek, dropping his hand when Carl shoved it away. "I... I'm here. And I love you."

"I raised myself." Carl whispered. "I was alone, you were gone and Shane and Lori couldn't give a shit. I did this. I fought, bloody and afraid, to make it here. Negan didn't traumatize me, I was already traumatized. I was raped and beaten and attacked, but Negan? Negan reminded me why I did this. When he cut my eye out and made me eat it, I fucking remembered why I was hard on the outside. So people like him didn't force me around. I am strong." He was inches from Ricks face. "And I did that shit my fucking self." He leaned closer. "So, please, don't come back into my life and ruin whats been good. I don't need this."

"Carl," Rick wanted to scream and cry and just shake Carl and tell him everything. Tell him that he loves and adores him. Tell him that he hates Negan and can do so much better. "Carl, hey..." Carl was moving away from him, walking towards the other side of the room. "I don't wanna fight, okay? I don't. I'm sorry," Rick was infuriated by Negan. His cocky smirk and god complex. Rick would shoot him on site if he could. "I'm sorry, sweetheart..." He wrapped his arms around Carl and pulled him backs against his chest. "Just over protective." Rick was much more than that.

"Okay," Carl didn't believe him. That didn't matter, though. His dad was back and he didn't want to fight. He wanted to make up all the years he lost. He wanted to show his dad how he learned to shoot a gun and how he can protect himself. Carl wanted to impress his dad. "Okay." He nodded and pulled away, facing Rick. "I've been safe, dad. Negan is good to me. He even..." Carl looked down. "He had wives before me. And now he doesn't. He only wants me dad and he makes me happy..." Carl looked up at Rick, his puppy dog eye practically rippling Ricks heart out. "Just give him a chance. He'll respect you once he knows who you are."