Angela's Crazy Nonfiction World

Birthday's are the best!!!!

Today was the D-day. It was my birthday!!!! I’m officially 13 today, I’m so excited.

Let the party begin!!! Where are my presents?!

Maybe you should start with good-morning mum

Whatever subconscious, it’s my birthday. I could do whatever I want.

Well technically we're the same person, so...

Lies!!! I’m not smart so you can’t go all smarty pants on me.

Smarty pants? What are you 5?

Whatever, a wise man once said “Age is nothing but a number ” .
You see I do listen on history class. Take that Mr. Edwards!!! Hehe.

Aren't you going to socialize with some real human beings or are you going to keep talking to me like a crazy lady?

Well how rude, my own subconscious just cut me off.

What now?! Will aliens invade the earth, will we ever find out how plankton managed to get a wife, and will SpongeBob ever grow brains?! Will I die alone?!

Just go shower you idiot. And the answer to your question is yes, you will probably die alone.

Gimme a break, it’s my birthday after all.

As I shower, I think about my dad. Mum said he left a few years ago with his new family.
That really sucks, did he not think about me and mum? Even on my birthday, couldn’t he just call to say hi?

Shrugging of these problems from my already over occupied.

“SURPRISE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGIE!!!’’ My mum, my best friend, a few other friends from school and guess who else was here?!

BRIAN

Oh my God, does he have to ruin everything?! And what is the krabby patty formular?! Is it tartar sauce? I need to know!!!

Well that was random.

Put a sock in it, inner voice. Don’t you have a life, if you don’t why don’t you just buy one on Amazon, I’m sure you’ll get a discount for like 20%. You can’t be that broke.

Can't get rid of me that easily , Angie

“Peanut butter!” I exclaim, completely ignoring everyone cheers.

I know I’m rude but don’t blame me, blame puberty. You think I’m happy with all these freckles?!  

Going off topic again.

Why thank you, annoying voice in my head that refuses to get a life off Amazon but E-bay works too.

So back to reality, my mum glared at me because apparently I choose peanut butter over my friends.

But who can blame me, these yummy stuff would win any day. I can even exchange my mum for peanut butter.

And you wonder why your dad left you, Touché

Okay is it just me or my inner self doesn’t like me?

Nah, it isn't just you.

Okay guys, does any one wanna change subconscious because mine is for sale.

“Thank you so much guys ” . I said after getting the warning glare from my mum.
You know that look that makes you wanna pee your pants.
“It’s no problem. We love you Angie ” Laura said.

Awww! She’s so nice. Making up those lies that they love me.

What if she meant it?

Nah, have you met me? I’m pretty annoying; I don’t think anyone would like me let alone love me.

But Brian does.

That’s it, end of discussion. I’m going to talk to actual people now if you don’t mind.

                       ••••••••••••••••
The rest of the day was pretty eventful, after my friends sang happy birthday to me, my mum brought the cake and boy was it delicious.

There were a lot of treats, and I was in heaven.

Mum said that I could open all my presents after my friends leave, because she doesn’t want them seeing my way of opening presents.

Basically, when I get a present I tear the wrapper off with my teeth.

Mum said it’s and I quote ''animalistic''of me.

So after I got everyone out of the house, my mother said I had to wave goodbye and give them a hug because it’s ‘polite’. Ugh.

After waving and hugging everyone. I need a bath, don’t wanna catch cooties.

Boys say girls have it; I say everyone except me has it. I’m pretty mean but I prefer the word ‘not nice ’ it helps to boost my confidence.

Speaking of boys, I tried as much as possible to avoid Brian. And it wasn’t easy I tell ya.

The guy keeps smiling like a maniac and when I told mum she said it was ‘cute’.

Cute?! Well her definition of cute must be different from mine.

So now I’m currently in the kitchen waiting patiently for mum to give me my presents.

“Here you go honey and this time use a scissors will you?” Mum says while handing me the gifts.

“Thanks mum, I’ll be upstairs if you need me” I reply and dash upstairs like the wind. Eventually, I trip.
Just my luck.

And now to open these presents, with my teeth of course……