Counting Scars

Truth

Me and Lilly headed back home around 8:30pm. I plopped down on my bed trying not to make much noise. I think my mom is sleeping and I don't want her to hit me if I wake her up. She can get violence sometimes, not caring if anyone see's her or not.

Lilly tosses her always caring around old polka dotted book bag. Apparently it was her mom's before she committed suicide. I know, you don't hear much about 37 year olds commuting suicide but it did happen. Leaving Lilly, her little brother Max, and her step-dad alone. No one really knows 100% why she killed herself. It just kind of happened...

"Your room looks clean" Lilly says surprisingly.

"I cleaned it 2 weeks ago, haven't been in it in about 1 week" I replied.

"What? Then where have you been staying?" she says in a worried tone.

"I-I-I have been staying with a friend down the road" I quietly say back.

"Oh come on Mia! Tell me the truth." She's getting annoyed. I can tell by her eye rolling and voice.

"I've been too distracted from my friends, family just life in general. So I-I-I kind of maybe have sleeping on the streets. You know, maybe." I started to shake.

She didn't say anything to that. She was just speechless. I don't really blame her. There's probably so much going on in her head of hers.

But so much more goes on in her head than mine. it's quite sad actually. Especially when I harm myself. My life is like a hurricane. So much shit happens, but then it's calm. Life seems better. Life seems brighter. Then out of no where... shit happens again. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. I hate it so much. So so much.

She's still speechless. Well, we both are.

I break the silence.

"Do you wanna go on an adventure?" I ask.

"What kinda of adventure?" she curiously says.

"A crazy adventure. Not like the ones we had when we were little. I mean to leave. Leave this stupid place. Lets runaway. Maybe we can find a few boys to hang out with so we will feel safe for once."

She rolls her eyes.

"Are you fucking stupid? What if we get caught. We can't even drive. Well I guess we can take my uncles pickup truck. But what if we get pulled over by the cops. What if we run out of gas money. What if the car breaks down. What if-."

"God damn!! What if what if what if. That's most likely not gonna happen sweetheart." I say.

"Fine."

I think she only said yes because if I went I alone I would probably cut if I get sad or do something stupid. She hates when I do that. But only she knows.