I can't help it, okay? Can't you lay off? Haven't you ever had that one person who you cared about so much no matter how much they hurt you? I love him. I'm not saying I will take him back. I understand that you are just looking out for me and you don't want me hurt. But people get hurt in life. That's how they get stronger. Getting my heartbroken again- might help me move on finally. I doubt I will take him back if he returned and asked me to but I can't make any promises. Just let me learn on my own, please? I want my best friend back, that's all I want. I know you see how much I love him and what he means to me. I know you care about me and I thank you for being a friend but please, let me be. You have done your job. Now, let me be. If you don't want to see me get hurt. I understand. I don't mean this in a bad way, but if you don't want to see it, turn away; don't look. I love him. I just want my best friend back though. Can't you understand?
He's everything to me. Sure in the hell, not perfect. He makes me laugh and I'm comfortable around him. He gets me. He teases me but he knows my limits. He watches out for me like a sibling. He talks to me like a friend. He cares for me like I'm the girl, his girl. Even at times when I wasn't. He understand that I wasn't never ready to be in a relationship but still accepted it when I tried for him and for me, for us. We always knew about each other's feelings. He's really my everything. I compare him to every guy I meet. Sure, he broke my heart- but I broke his. But we could always go back to being friends. We always was there to comfort us. He got my stubbornness and silliness. He always knew how to cheer me up and could tell if something was bothering me. When he looked at me, I felt like I would float away- but then sometimes, he would grab my hand and I'd feel like he was the only thing keeping me here, keeping me sane. His laugh, his eyes, his stupid jokes, and the way he talked about random crap that he must have known I didn't care about- everything about him interested me. I love him. I can't stress that enough. He is my first love. Maybe that's why it's so hard to let go?
